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HELP - CONFUSED - NEED OPINIONS!!
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Posted on Sat, Sep 18, 2010 22:12

Hello All, 

I am relatively new to this site and recently something happened and I don't know what to think about it or how to process it.  Here it is:  About a week ago I emailed a gentleman whose profile I found interesting and asked if he thought my profile was interesting.  He emailed me back and sent me his email and phone number (SO YOU WOULD THINK THAT HE ALSO SAW MY PROFILE [WITH MY PIC] AND THOUGHT THAT I WAS ACCEPTABLE). 

The first phone conversation that we had lasted nearly THREE hours!!!  We talked about everything from religion to politics to history.  It was like everything that I have told GOD that I wanted in a man, he fit it.  We have similar backgrounds, have similar morals, values, and principles.  I had never felt such a connection to anyone before (of course I didn't tell him that). 

Well, we talked a bit the next day and the day after that we sent text messages back and forth.  He sent me a recent pic of himself and I explained to him that I didn't take pictures because I was ugly and fat.  Now again, the one pic that I have recently taken is on my profile page.  I don't think I am extremely ugly, I guess just a bit or average.  I use self-deprecating humor as a defense mechanism, I guess. 

Well the next day he texted me and wrote that he didn't think we were a good match and it was nice talking to me.  I responded by saying that I was confused but I told him good luck and take care.  NOW I am really bugging out about what went wrong.  I wasn't being pushy or taking things too fast or anything.  I just don't know exactly what I did to turn him off. 

The ONLY thing that I can possibly come up with is after I said that I didn't take pictures is because I was fat and ugly, he went to my profile AND ACTUALLY REALLY LOOKED AT MY PIC, AGREED THAT I WAS FAT AND UGLY, AND DECIDED THAT I WAS NOT WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR.  This is the best that I can come up with but I am still confused because my pic was always on my profile and I assumed that he saw it prior to giving me his number and as far as being fat that site is called large friends for a reason, right!!! 

I will not ask him directly, but I was hoping that someone could offer me their opinion of my situation.  Whatever I did, I don't want to do it the next time I meet a guy (IF THERE IS A NEXT TIME).  Thanks for your opinions and advice.



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Posted on Sun, Sep 19, 2010 11:35

Whatever one looks like, it is self-confidence and self-love that shines through as beautiful. The men on this site don't mind or even have a preference for larger women, but what man wants to be constantly battling your own self-depreciation? If they say they "don't care" about looks or size etc, then they dont want to be hearing about it all the time.

More times than not larger women do have a whole lot of baggage. Its time to drop it at the curb and opt for a lighter load.

Good luck to you.

Tori