How hard is it for us women to find that special man to care for us and to not just think we are here for a sexual thing we all want to have some one in our lifes so why does it take forever to reply to a wink that us ladies send out is it not just a polite way to sedn back and say thanks for the wink but I am not interested it is just plain courtesy to do that I dont think that i am asking to much

Lunaticlyn, I think that it is hard for anyone, be they male or female, to find a loving relationship, especially when they are serious and sincere about it. As mentioned here before, there are alot of callous people who lack simple common courtesy and who are "predators". Knowing this, I feel that it is best to not think that there is something wrong with me, but rather that the other person and I are not meant for each other. That is the only way that I helps me not feel bad when someone rejects me, or does not respond to me.

In the past, I have spent many years beating myself up with thoughts that I am not "enough" and quite frankly, I am of the opinion now that the people who reject me or overlook me don't deserve to know me. I look at it as their loss because they have lost the opportunity to make a loyal and great friend.

Luna,

Common courtesy and respect seem to be forgotten online and off these days. I'm tired of hearing 'I'll call you later, or drop you an email', but later never comes. To make matters worse, most men, and some women, only want some physical gratification, and if we foolishly give it up too soon, or even when you wait it seems they are no longer interested once they've gotten a little sumpin sumpin.

If I've learned anything in the past few months from reading posts and taking a long hard look at my own life is that a man nor woman, makes US whole..we have to think of ourselves far differently. I don't mean to trivialize things, but not everyone on here is looking for the fairytale, and even for those who have found it, unless you work very hard as a couple..it can fade away quickly.

I haven't given up the notion that there are good people in the world, but if I had to sum up my thoughts on dating based on the past six months or so....it wouldn't be a very pretty picture. I'd like to believe being a good natured, happy person makes a difference, but unless you can spot the wolves in lambs clothing...this dating arena and the quest for love can leave a lot to be desired.

Because it's difficult and requires empathy and maturity. I much preferred the angry break up in my youth; the last relationship I chose to end for various reasons, I let her down easy and explained my feelings (or lack of)like an adult, and I think that let us have closure w/o hurt feelings and the hope for another try. Tact and diplomacy involve more effort than the brush off... try it sometime (that goes for both genders!)

I have to agree with that one. Why can't a guy who wants to end a relationship be a man and just SAY SO? I don't expect a page-length essay, just something simple, even a one liner, "Thanks for your interest, but I don't think we would be a match." End of story. Most of them just disappear and never bother to end anything, leaving the lady wondering if he got killed on the road or what. This isn't just for the guys, woman have probably done the exact same thing. ONE SENTENCE to say "Goodbye" or "Sorry it didn't work out." would be a relief to the wondering party. (I'm tempted to say 'victim', but considering the inner strength of some people, I'd rather say 'survivor'.)
*sigh*