Its difficult to try to build a new life after bereavement and children fleeing the nest, being without a partner at that time is truly difficult, you question yourself belief, worth and value to others so how do you move on?

Hi hon. I lost my husband over 4 years ago. He died 6 days after surgery and before our 17th anniversary. It was very hard at first, but gets easier as you go on. Give yourself time to go through the grieving period. Only you know how long that will be as you progress. I felt those guilty feelings of going on with my life, but, he had said I must go on if anything happened. No one will ever take his place or the memories, those are mine forever. I sunk myself in my job after that, till now. He was the love of my life. I was left with a 16 year old daughter who was very close to her dad. Now, she is a beautiful young woman, just married. She took his picture, had it enlarged, placed right up front at the wedding. Yes, it was unusual, but, it was her way of saying goodbye to her old life being daddys little girl and still feeling him there for her. That was something that really made me feel better about going on. Honey, take as much time as YOU feel it takes. Good luck.

My husband died 18 months ago, and I miss him everyday..Before he died 5 momths after being diagnoised with a brain tumor, he made me promise to move on and live rest of my life..I tried to carry on and support my 2 young grown daughter, to fill my life with things and stay so busy I did not have time to think, none of which worked. So I reached out here I have found some good friends...I take my medication and live one day at a time..each day I remember to thank God I am alive and discover a new part of me, We were married 27 years and the last time I dated I was younger than my 21 year old daughter..a lot of things have changed....I think the hardest thing is suddenly being the single woman in your group of friends and how they act around you and their husbands...But you have been given good advice...just remember that at step back is not defeat...I give myself alot of atitude adjustments.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here. I'm not widowed, but I did emotionally lose my husband to mental illness. We were married for 17 years and I cared for him the last 5 years of the marriage and saw his mind deteriorate into someone I didn't know. That is a long sad story that I won't go into here, but I do think that emotionally my husband died.

I didn't date for 10 years afterward. It hurt too much to think about and I withdrew from life almost. I centered all my attention on raising my child, who was 4 at the time. I have had much happen in my life since then, but the one thing I'm just now doing, 15 years later, is figuring out how to take care of me. I have no clue what I really enjoy doing and how to do that, but I'm working on it... and I will succeed.

Don't wait 15 years to start discovering who you are as a single woman. It is hard and sometimes painful, but I know you can do it!

As I still do, reflect back on the good memories and begin making new ones.

Everyone grieves... but don't let your grief consume you to the point of not living.

{{{HUGS}}} to all you brave women and my prayers are with you!

I am a widow for almost three years. You need to understand that life goes on...you are alive and need to resume living. Nothing will diminish your memories, but being alone..and/or lonely is not healthy. This site was my very first step...and I am enjoying my life again. Good Luck!

Hi Lumilovely,

I know just how you feel. My fiance died suddenly a year ago and I have only just felt able to move on now. I did meet a lovely guy who could have meant a lot to me but he couldnt cope with the fact that I had a past love (I still have a photo of him in the house).... you just have to carry on looking and getting out (socialising does help)

lumilovely...

It takes as much time as it takes, hon.
For me..it was a long time, two years or so, But everyone grieves differently, and deals with it in different ways.
You will know when the time is right.
Jeez..That wasnt much help, was it? Sorry, I just feel its such a personal thing, that we all deal with it in diff ways.
My hubs died suddenly, and it took me a long long time to even poke my head about the duvet again!
One thing I will say, is that life does go on..in a slightly different way, and now my kids have left home...I am having a ball!!!!
It all happened, in time.
Just enjoy life, enjoy being you, seeing friends, working if you want too, I found learning a new skill helped, and YES!! The Internet was my lifeline, for a long time.
Hugs,

lumiluvely,

I lost my husband almost 3 years ago after a 10 yr illness, so I do understand what you are going through. We were together 21 years and it is hard to move on and feel whole again. Everyone handles it differently and in their own time.. so take the time you need to grief and feel all the emotions that arise and many will.
I started dating 6 months after he passed on..and I think it helped me come to terms with my being single again much faster.
Take it one day at a time..thats the best advice I can give to you..it hurts like hell for a long time, but eventually the numbness wears off and you start discovering who you are, all over again and life will get better.
I took up meditation, walking a lot and focusing on my self 'journey' and found out what kind of person I never knew I was. It was a beautiful awakening when my soul once again revived and opened.
That's how I managed to overcome my grief..I pray that the same works for you soon.
Hope this has helped in some way HUGS