Since women are complaining about guys and what we want... it's time for us men to rebut all that...
No more is a BBW allowed to compain about guys who want busty women since a lot of you only want skinny men and will overlook the BHM.
No more is a BBW allowed to complain when a BHM goes after a skinny woman, because... he was single, but you didn't want him, yet you complain about being discriminated against.
No more is a BBW even entitled to be picky and choosy because, we as men, who generally just want someone we want to be happy with for the rest of our lives, are complained about when we decide we know what we want. If someone decides you're not that person, so what? There are others.
And no more is a BBW even allowed to talk about guys who are just separated, because, let's face it... not everyone has been allowed to get that divorce very easily. Some of us try, but events taking place sometimes eat up the money. If you're that worried that some guy who is separated is going to leave you for his ex, then you have some insecurity issues that need to be dealt with.
Now that I got your attention (and probably the ire of quite a few folks...)
What ever happened to the idea of folks having preferences? It seems that what started off as the concept of size acceptance has made a turn for the worst, where people have forgotten that we're still allowed to like different things. Folks have forgotten that there's still some degree of physical attraction that needs to exist.
It seems that we've gone so far into political correctness, that we now have to try really hard to avoid huring each others' feelings. We used to develop thick skin because we knew there were folks out there just looking to hurt people.
I'm going to cut this short... if you want... I have a blog... unleashed_paladin_rage on the Yodel site... under profiles... like the Ferrari 360... lol (I hope you understood all that... if not, find someone who knows me and they can pass that link to ya.)
I think folks need to take a step back and see what's going on. Some eyes need to be opened.
I just have one question...If there weren't any men with so-called "fetishes", where would that leave us big beautiful women? I for one am glad that there are men who appreciate us and are attracted to us.
Cheating is such a complicated issue. I'm against it,it causes so much pain to the person who was cheated on, yet I can understand in some circumstances why it happens. I guess I form my opinion of cheating on what the situation is that causes the cheating. Personaly I would never get involved with a married person. Had to add that so I don't get tons of emails asking if I want a little "fun". lol
I took Kragans first post on this thread as kind of a tongue in cheek thing, half kidding, half serious, kind of saying hey gals you don't want to hear us guys complaining about abc so we don't want to hear you complaining about xyx. lol I guess everyone who reads something reads a different meaning into it.
I don't think Kragan should be jumped on for prefering big busted gals. Everyone has a right to their preference. And just because he has a preference or right now feels he only wants to date big busted gals dosen't mean he has a big breast fetish. Many of us post in our profiles what we want, so if he wants a big busted gal, why shouldn't he have the right to say that ? This is coming from a small busted gal by the way. But that's ok Krag, I don't take it personal. lol Anyway I think his inital post made sense. (ducking now lol ) One more thing, maybe Kragan would, maybe he won't dump the love of his life because she had to have a mast., but he seems like a nice guy, that just got pushed into a corner on here and felt he had to defend himself. We can all say what we would do in a certain situation, but we realy don't know what we would do till we are faced with that situation.
Dove, while I feel bad for what your friend went through, you don't appear to have anything meaningful to add since you want to call me a fetishist because of my preference. That really would be like my calling you a racist (which, since I don't know you from a can of spray paint, might be true.)
Let me get this straight; you're allowed to exclude me from the dating pool because of skin color; but I'm not allowed to exclude you because of something physical.
That has double standard written all over it.
And from the sounds of things, you're ticked because you keep running into guys who admire your curves? Must s u c k to be you if you can't enjoy it.
I don't know... maybe you do need to just "shush" yourself after all.
The problem is Kragen is that you're not a member of the BBW/BHM community.
So when someone who is arguably a fetishist comes forward and asks us to be tolerant of fetishists and cheating husbands (a group you've also defended), it looks a hell of a lot like you're telling us to shut the hell up and be grateful anyone talks to us.
Plus, obviously, all other kinds of goodness spilled out once you started talking. But you're not in any position to lecture the community.
Very true, Kew; the original point was that people were getting bent out of shape over every little thing, it seems.
On another site, on a forum, a man was talking about how he seems to only attract BBW... and he met one who said something like "I don't know why these big guys come after me, I'm not attracted to them at all." Then I would hear about BBW complaining about BHM going after skinny women.
Walk over into the "Fun on the side" forum, and you see all the women complaining about the guys who post there looking for action on the side. I'm not condoning cheating, but I still say "to each his own" because if they're upfront about it, who are we to judge and since when was it our business to slam, ridicule, or argue with them?
I don't impose my morals on anyone else, and I would expect that no one tries to impose their morals on me.
The point of the original post that started this thread was for a discussion of some of the issues in the BBW/BHM community today.
But I guess since a fight broke out, a point was made about why some folks are posting.
"And no more is a BBW even allowed to talk about guys who are just separated, because, let's face it... not everyone has been allowed to get that divorce very easily. Some of us try, but events taking place sometimes eat up the money. If you're that worried that some guy who is separated is going to leave you for his ex, then you have some insecurity issues that need to be dealt with."
I'm not sure I have anything to say about the fetishist vs. preferences debate; I can see merit on both sides.
But I do have something to say about the separated = cheating? issue. First, whatever might be controversial about the rest of his initial post, I didn't perceive Kragen's comment about separated men as an endorsement of cheating. I thought he was trying to point out that sometimes separated men are totally over their exes and you don't have to worry that they'll go back to them.
I would never date a man who was married (as in still together with his wife), and I'm not sure I would be willing to enter into a relationship with a man who had only recently separated from his wife. I certainly would not date him if it was only a trial separation or if he still had unresolved feelings for her.
But sometimes separated is practically divorced, and you really don't have anything to worry about.
Take my situation, for example. I left my husband over two years ago, and our marriage really ended at least two years before that. I only stayed as long as I did because I mistakenly believed it was the best thing to do for my daughter.
I have not yet finalized my divorce for several reasons, some of which I don't want to post here as they involve my daughter. Some of the other reasons are 1) I have no plans to marry again, so I don't really care what my legal status is, and 2) divorce is expensive and I'm just a starving grad student.
But no one needs to worry that I will ever go back to my ex. I have been single (meaning unattached, if not technically divorced) for years.
Sorry for the long rambling post - I just wanted to point out that, in my opinion and experience at least, people who are "only" separated are NOT necessarily cheating on anyone, nor are they necessarily likely to ditch you and go back to their ex. Separated might just mean not-yet-legally-single.
Of course you have to use your judgment in individual cases to see how 'over' their marriage really is. But please don't assume that we separated people are still married and cheating on our spouses! I'm sure not.
I have pretty much decided to stay out of this one however-
Kragen there are women all over the world who die everday because of people who think like you. Because of society they think without the damn boooobs they aren't a woman anymore the same with internal female parts. What on earth is wrong with people. They are fatty tissue and a way to feed your young. That is pretty much it. What a sad world we live in. You know adventually some men will need the little blue pill if that even helps, hope all you big busted women don't leave then since the part they reqire would be gone.
Exactly... that's what a grown-up relationship is.
I remember when an ex thought she might have lung cancer and went to have a screening done. The thoughts Kragen had were present in my mind but I also realised that I loved her and you don't act that way. Mercifully it just turned out that she was mildly asthmatic but it was a pretty uncomfortable few days.
And Kragan, since you're not attracted to women with small t*i*t*s can I say I'm not attracted to African-American men? It's as simple as that.
As far as the FF's? If she can walk upright, how bad does her back and shoulders hurt? And all for you!! Because you like big t*i*t*s!!
And as far as Sassy goes? I stand my ground on that one. No one here wants to see her t*i*t*s. Us ladies and anyone else with any moral fiber at all. Holier than thou? You crack me up!! Take a pill Kragan.
You like what you like, and I like what I like.
I've seen well-endowed women who didn't complain about back pain or anything like that.
I don't need medication, unlike a lot of folks I run into these days.
I'm not so sure you have anything worthwhile to add to the conversation, so why are you even posting in this thread?
So, for arguments sake, lets say you find your ideal. Fall head over heels in love with the total package. Two years down the road, she has had enough of the back pain her ample bosoms are causng her, and has them reduced, thereby making her no longer your ideal. Or she develops breast cancer and has a mastectomy.
Is she no longer able to hold your interest, as you have previously admitted?
Hopefully, the breast cancer would never get far enough to warrant a masectomy. But worst case scenario, there's always reconstruction surgery.
As for the voluntary reduction part of the question... it depends on how MUCH of a reduction it would be, the size she's starting from and where she's talking about going to, her overall body type, size, etc.
Yeah, I already know someone is going to come out with the "But you're supposed to love her anyway" bit... but if you flip the script, why get rid of something that helps spice up the s*x life, something that she knows that I like so much? It's not like I wouldn't give her a backrub if she needed one.
LonesomeDove write: Well, I think we're not all gonna agree here I don't think. Quite frankly, I think most men that like BBW/SSBBW are fetishists. I've experienced this quite personally recently.
And FF's? Can she even walk upright? LOL!!
And Shortnsassy, what a crude pic. I can't even believe they approved it. And by the way, not jealous at all. Got plenty of my own and I look just as good if not better!
It's quite obvious in here that we're not going to all agree, hence the four or so pages of argument going on.
FF's... yes, she can walk upright. I've seen it done.
Sorry that you're having a hard time with BBW/SSBBW admirers.
But something about your post bugs me... you've mentioned before that you only date white men, you're taking a cheap shot at Sassy (who isn't attacking anyone at the moment on here,) and I'm getting this "holier than thou" vibe coming off you.