Since women are complaining about guys and what we want... it's time for us men to rebut all that...
No more is a BBW allowed to compain about guys who want busty women since a lot of you only want skinny men and will overlook the BHM.
No more is a BBW allowed to complain when a BHM goes after a skinny woman, because... he was single, but you didn't want him, yet you complain about being discriminated against.
No more is a BBW even entitled to be picky and choosy because, we as men, who generally just want someone we want to be happy with for the rest of our lives, are complained about when we decide we know what we want. If someone decides you're not that person, so what? There are others.
And no more is a BBW even allowed to talk about guys who are just separated, because, let's face it... not everyone has been allowed to get that divorce very easily. Some of us try, but events taking place sometimes eat up the money. If you're that worried that some guy who is separated is going to leave you for his ex, then you have some insecurity issues that need to be dealt with.
Now that I got your attention (and probably the ire of quite a few folks...)
What ever happened to the idea of folks having preferences? It seems that what started off as the concept of size acceptance has made a turn for the worst, where people have forgotten that we're still allowed to like different things. Folks have forgotten that there's still some degree of physical attraction that needs to exist.
It seems that we've gone so far into political correctness, that we now have to try really hard to avoid huring each others' feelings. We used to develop thick skin because we knew there were folks out there just looking to hurt people.
I'm going to cut this short... if you want... I have a blog... unleashed_paladin_rage on the Yodel site... under profiles... like the Ferrari 360... lol (I hope you understood all that... if not, find someone who knows me and they can pass that link to ya.)
I think folks need to take a step back and see what's going on. Some eyes need to be opened.
I just have one question...If there weren't any men with so-called "fetishes", where would that leave us big beautiful women? I for one am glad that there are men who appreciate us and are attracted to us.
I diaa gre with theo, soryy I do NOT think because a thin man spacifically likes a larger woman that he has a fetish or because a larger woman perfers a average or smaller man she has a fetish. or a man of any size that will only date a blond thin woman has a fetish either, just a one track maind is all we have in those areas.
LOL my two cents.
Cheating is such a complicated issue. I'm against it,it causes so much pain to the person who was cheated on, yet I can understand in some circumstances why it happens. I guess I form my opinion of cheating on what the situation is that causes the cheating. Personaly I would never get involved with a married person. Had to add that so I don't get tons of emails asking if I want a little "fun". lol
I took Kragans first post on this thread as kind of a tongue in cheek thing, half kidding, half serious, kind of saying hey gals you don't want to hear us guys complaining about abc so we don't want to hear you complaining about xyx. lol I guess everyone who reads something reads a different meaning into it.
I don't think Kragan should be jumped on for prefering big busted gals. Everyone has a right to their preference. And just because he has a preference or right now feels he only wants to date big busted gals dosen't mean he has a big breast fetish. Many of us post in our profiles what we want, so if he wants a big busted gal, why shouldn't he have the right to say that ? This is coming from a small busted gal by the way. But that's ok Krag, I don't take it personal. lol Anyway I think his inital post made sense. (ducking now lol ) One more thing, maybe Kragan would, maybe he won't dump the love of his life because she had to have a mast., but he seems like a nice guy, that just got pushed into a corner on here and felt he had to defend himself. We can all say what we would do in a certain situation, but we realy don't know what we would do till we are faced with that situation.
Dove, while I feel bad for what your friend went through, you don't appear to have anything meaningful to add since you want to call me a fetishist because of my preference. That really would be like my calling you a racist (which, since I don't know you from a can of spray paint, might be true.)
Let me get this straight; you're allowed to exclude me from the dating pool because of skin color; but I'm not allowed to exclude you because of something physical.
That has double standard written all over it.
And from the sounds of things, you're ticked because you keep running into guys who admire your curves? Must s u c k to be you if you can't enjoy it.
I don't know... maybe you do need to just "shush" yourself after all.
Theo... if you read his posts correctly... he does not condone the ACT of cheating... he just supports their right to come on this site or any other and look for someone to cheat with... he just made the point that they were seeking such over in the "fun on the side" forum and not on the dating, love or romance forum.
The problem is Kragen is that you're not a member of the BBW/BHM community.
So when someone who is arguably a fetishist comes forward and asks us to be tolerant of fetishists and cheating husbands (a group you've also defended), it looks a hell of a lot like you're telling us to shut the hell up and be grateful anyone talks to us.
Plus, obviously, all other kinds of goodness spilled out once you started talking. But you're not in any position to lecture the community.
How unbelievable that someone could even consider saying that someone would have to have reconstructive surgery if a mastectomy was warranted just so it wouldn't interfere with their s*e*x life! Wow!! Now that my friends is a fetish......(which I believe is the whole point of this piece anyway)
A friend of mine had a double mastectomy some years back. She opted for reconstructive surgery. The implants didn't work and had to be removed before she even left the hospital. So see, that might not even be an option for you Kragen. Would you dump her then?
Now for the other stuff. Nasty remarks and comments roll right straight off my back. I don't care what anyone has to say about me or my thoughts or "preferences". Just because certain people don't agree with what I have to say means nothing to me. Point being, Kragen you are a fetishist plain and simple in my opinion. And, as we are all so eloquently trying to explain here, opinions are like a*s*s*h*o*l*e*s; everybody's got one. I'll post whatever I want, wherever I want, whenever I want on any public forum on the net. People like you need not shush me. Not necessary. Now I'm finished with my so-called "thread". And I pray to the good Lord above I never meet any man anywhere on this earth that even remotely has the same ideals as you.
Fetishist, fetishist, fetishist!!!! I believe is the point here. And once again, my opinion.
P.S. Dee!! You are so insightful. I've loved everything you've had to say here. Good good job!!
Very true, Kew; the original point was that people were getting bent out of shape over every little thing, it seems.
On another site, on a forum, a man was talking about how he seems to only attract BBW... and he met one who said something like "I don't know why these big guys come after me, I'm not attracted to them at all." Then I would hear about BBW complaining about BHM going after skinny women.
Walk over into the "Fun on the side" forum, and you see all the women complaining about the guys who post there looking for action on the side. I'm not condoning cheating, but I still say "to each his own" because if they're upfront about it, who are we to judge and since when was it our business to slam, ridicule, or argue with them?
I don't impose my morals on anyone else, and I would expect that no one tries to impose their morals on me.
The point of the original post that started this thread was for a discussion of some of the issues in the BBW/BHM community today.
But I guess since a fight broke out, a point was made about why some folks are posting.
I think people jump on a soap box and don't know when to let it go. Kragen has every right to only like women with big b00bs. If I am not in a relationship with him, then it doesn't hurt me in the least for him to have that preference. Yes, I agree... when people constantly "jump" on you about something you've said, you do tend to start wording things just to p_i_s_s them off... I know it has been done to me and I just laugh at it. Bottom line ... His preference for large breasted women is his choice.
His original intent in this post has long since been lost and has just turned into a big mess. This is so not necessary in my opinion. Yes, we all have the right to disagree and post our opinions on why we disagree but I think it gets carried away too many times... and that just discourages people to post. Let's just agree to disagree and let it be. Life is too short to get all worked up in a tizzy over the small stuff.
Nope, Kragen, starting a thread does not make you the judge at high noon. If it was your own personal site that you yourself ran, maybe; but starting a thread on a public forum, anyone with an opinion can chime in.
As for your assertation that it is a preference, I still don't agree. I'm not sure where the FF point came from, I am assuming your personal blog, which I didn't look at. If that is indeed your preference, being a paltry DD I don't even fit within it, so I suppose I shouldn't worry.
We're never going to see eye to eye on this one. I will however tell you, that statements such as you have been making, indicating that not being buxom is a deal breaker for you will make most women feel like a piece of meat, whether you are looking for personality and intelligence as well or not. And yes, I have been with men who, while I knew they liked my physical attributes, also made me feel wanted for the rest of me. Had any one of them indicated that should my bust reduce in size for whatever reason (weight loss, medical surgery) they would cease to be attracted to me, I would have dropped that hot potato and run for the hills.
I agree with you regarding dating when you are seperated with absolutely no chance of reconcilliation, is not cheating. I am seperated myself, and have been for nearly two years, finances being the major obstacle to getting that final proclamation of divorce.
I think that some of kragen's responses to other threads is what indicates his defence of cheating spouses, rather than his rant about women complaining about seperated men, for the most part.
"And no more is a BBW even allowed to talk about guys who are just separated, because, let's face it... not everyone has been allowed to get that divorce very easily. Some of us try, but events taking place sometimes eat up the money. If you're that worried that some guy who is separated is going to leave you for his ex, then you have some insecurity issues that need to be dealt with."
I'm not sure I have anything to say about the fetishist vs. preferences debate; I can see merit on both sides.
But I do have something to say about the separated = cheating? issue. First, whatever might be controversial about the rest of his initial post, I didn't perceive Kragen's comment about separated men as an endorsement of cheating. I thought he was trying to point out that sometimes separated men are totally over their exes and you don't have to worry that they'll go back to them.
I would never date a man who was married (as in still together with his wife), and I'm not sure I would be willing to enter into a relationship with a man who had only recently separated from his wife. I certainly would not date him if it was only a trial separation or if he still had unresolved feelings for her.
But sometimes separated is practically divorced, and you really don't have anything to worry about.
Take my situation, for example. I left my husband over two years ago, and our marriage really ended at least two years before that. I only stayed as long as I did because I mistakenly believed it was the best thing to do for my daughter.
I have not yet finalized my divorce for several reasons, some of which I don't want to post here as they involve my daughter. Some of the other reasons are 1) I have no plans to marry again, so I don't really care what my legal status is, and 2) divorce is expensive and I'm just a starving grad student.
But no one needs to worry that I will ever go back to my ex. I have been single (meaning unattached, if not technically divorced) for years.
Sorry for the long rambling post - I just wanted to point out that, in my opinion and experience at least, people who are "only" separated are NOT necessarily cheating on anyone, nor are they necessarily likely to ditch you and go back to their ex. Separated might just mean not-yet-legally-single.
Of course you have to use your judgment in individual cases to see how 'over' their marriage really is. But please don't assume that we separated people are still married and cheating on our spouses! I'm sure not.