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Dumped Before It Even Started...
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Posted on Sat, Sep 24, 2005 19:28

Ok...I'm about to give up hope here. A few guys from this site have contacted me, but all have been too far away, have no pics (and won't post them), or turn out to be married.

About two months ago, a guy from a singles site (not this one, and I'm no longer on any other sites because of what happened) contacted me. We chatted back and forth in IM for a while, then it became every night. Then we started talking on the phone. He invited me to attend an upcoming car show with him not far from where I live, which was going to be occurring on my birthday. I thought it would be a nice way to get to know him better and see if we could start off as friends and let things develop from there. He wanted to take me to dinner, talk, and just enjoy each other's company. What a great way to spend my birthday, I thought.

Two days before we were to meet, I found an IM on my computer when I signed on with every excuse under the sun "can't get involved in a relationship right now, family having personal troubles, we live too far apart, sorry if I hurt you...blah, blah, blah". Every excuse you've ever heard for dumping someone. I'm thinking "WHAT relationship?" we never even met! It amazes me how someone can go from being warm, chatty, excited to get to know me, etc...to suddenly having cold feet and using every possible excuse to avoid even meeting me, and then doesn't even want to talk at all. I guess I scared him somehow, though all we did was talk - no one ever said "relationship" or "marriage" or even "living together".

Sorry folks...just had to vent. Getting really frustrated here and tired of the run around.



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Posted on Fri, Sep 11, 2009 20:14

Thats messed up; Why do men have to be such douches?

I went out on a date with a guy once and he was really nice to me. We IM'd each other everyday all day and after the date he started acting weird; I told him that I had fun and he said he did too and on the date I told him the dating website gave me a free month to use their website and he looked at me and asked was I going to use the free month and I told him I did not know. So anyway back to what happened after the date; well on the way home I asked him when could we go out again and he said soon probably within the next couple of days, so of course I was really excited and my mom was totally happy for me. I IM'd him the next day and it took him a long time to respond and his responses to my questions were vague and were up to an hour apart and when I asked him was he angry at me for asking him should I take my profile down he said "No honey no worries here." and I never heard from him again I tried leaving him emails and IM'ing him but to no avail and the most confusing thing is, I do not know if he was really upset or throwing what Tyra Banks refers to as a "mantrum" but I was really hurt by that I mean he did not even give me an explanation I even tried calling him but he would not answer his office phone or his cell phone and the odd thing is he put me on his list of favorites and he was on mine until I blocked him for failure to contact me. After how he acted I never want to see him again I do not even want to be friends with him. He was a total liar.

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Posted on Sat, Feb 11, 2006 17:04

Suebee, I am convinced that there are alot of people online who are just playing games and playing people. I have been connected with a few of those. Last night I met someone on this site who apparently is a con artist and thought he could have me sending $1500 for a "plane ticket" to see me, lol. He doesn't even realize I am onto him, or that he insulted my intelligence as I have a Master's Degree in counseling. I reported it. Then I have met others in person who have turned out to be alcoholics. I keep trying because I am convinced there has to be great guys out there. It is just frustrating having to eliminate the crud from the group. Good luck to you!



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Posted on Thu, Feb 09, 2006 07:38

One thing I know for sure is that dating sites feed the hungry ego.....and one's Ego itself is not a bad thing. People tend to misinterpret what the "ego" is!

The definition of ego is as follows:

Ego:

1 : The self especially as contrasted with another self or the world.

2 . Your consciousness of your own identity [syn: self]

I surmise that the ego needs positive feedback (from other people) for us to develop a healthy self image. We all validate our selves through how we perceive other people see us. It?s sad, but true. Every so often we give ourselves self-credit, or proper self-respect without seeking another persons approval. And thank God for that.

So keep in mind, that a person shouldn't expect miracles when riding on a wave of sugarpudding and lollipops towards a possible rocky, craggy, brambly shore. It's after we land on the beach after the ride that the common sense starts to kick in. (Also some nausea and some nagging pain in the ass-region). But get back up,catch another wave. Just remain honest with yourself when soaking up the added attention; and continue to support your own self,.... your ego needs it.

(Thank you Theo for the compliment)



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Posted on Thu, Feb 09, 2006 03:26

That';s incredibly insightful and absolutely true Veni.

Coming on a site like this absolutely does boost your self-esteem and such because you get attention. This is also why there are so many "fishing" posts and whinging posts... people looking for attention.



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Posted on Wed, Feb 08, 2006 00:33

Often times people looking for hookups online have an HIDDEN AGENDA and they don't even know it. They don't know it themselves.

These poor souls are looking for ATTENTION.

Attention is an ok thing to want. I'm not knocking attention. Attention is good. Like Emails, IM's, and even "in Person", dates or meetings. that all gives them attention. People wink at them online, saying cute face, cute smile, or that they loved your profile .

Attention.

It validates us. Instant ego. Instant self esteem. We are finally, and instantly accepted. Like celebrity. (In comparison to what we are used to in our everyday lives where we sometimes feel invisible).

Attention.

The mistake they make is their thinking that getting that attention is equivalent to building a relationship. But it isn't. Not usually.

We all need attention. To be fair. But it is too easy to date, which is awkward, and scary, and get that attention, and after all that to get bored. Our similarities our "things n common" with each other seem less important, and we become disenchanted with the rigamarole of dating. Simple as that.

Don't take it too much to heart ya guys n gals. That's human nature. It isn't fatal.



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Posted on Tue, Feb 07, 2006 16:56

same story ...he kept telling me he's interested we even met once and then everytime he would make a date he would break it a couple hours before... i realised what was going on and i causally mentioned we can just be pen pals and he became angry and persistent that he wants something more ...after the last date he called off i just stop writing him and took him off my messenger ...i really don't have time to waste and that saying HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU...kept playing in my head ...i look at it that i'm glad it happen that way and not later on when i've invested time and interest ...games people play



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Posted on Mon, Feb 06, 2006 03:19

If dissapointment comes out of the blue, as it often tends to happen. Don't sweat it.

You'll never know the real reasons why why why.

Not even if you could ask him under a bright light, while being handcuffed, tortured and interrogated in a police station.

So...

Don't keep worrying about what really happened, and stop the guessing and guessing.


Just try again with someone else. Or take a break.



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Posted on Fri, Feb 03, 2006 07:03

well I am not sure if this will help but I like ice cream



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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 19:17

It's Ok with me...any kind will do!

Have a great night everyone!

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 13:26


michaela1557 write:
I make something called "Hawaiian Wedding Cake". It needs to be kept refridgerated though 'cause it's made not only from cake mix, but whipped cream, crushed fresh pineapple (use the juice in the cake!), bananas, pudding, coconut and marischino cherries. You can also use crushed walnuts too, but I don't because I have enough nuts in my life as it is! LOL It is scrumptious and goes right to the hips! But worth every bite! LOL

Have a good day ladies!



That cake sounds just gorgeous...Can I invite myself too...I will bring wine

  


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Posted on Tue, Oct 04, 2005 09:05

I make something called "Hawaiian Wedding Cake". It needs to be kept refridgerated though 'cause it's made not only from cake mix, but whipped cream, crushed fresh pineapple (use the juice in the cake!), bananas, pudding, coconut and marischino cherries. You can also use crushed walnuts too, but I don't because I have enough nuts in my life as it is! LOL It is scrumptious and goes right to the hips! But worth every bite! LOL

Have a good day ladies!

  


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Posted on Mon, Oct 03, 2005 18:08

mmmmmmmm ice cream is always a good thing. Michaela what kind of cake are you bringing ?



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Posted on Mon, Oct 03, 2005 16:37

Can I also invite myself if I bring some of the best cake you'll ever eat?

Have a great rest of your day everyone!

  


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Posted on Sun, Oct 02, 2005 09:48

woohoo! Ice cream party at Mae's! I'm doing much better now, concentrating on my upcoming home purchase and my kids...ex who has one child living with him (I have the other) has decided he needs to decrease the child support he's paying by $50 per month so he can "live"...never mind the fact that he has voluntarily under-employed himself and is only paying minimum amount to begin with...I guess I'm responsible for that too, in his mind...somehow. So right now, ice cream would be a GOOD thing!

  


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Posted on Wed, Sep 28, 2005 16:39

Or maybe his wife desided to go to the car show with him. Not a nice thought, but you should certainly consiter that it had /nothing/ to do with you at all. Don't beat yourself up about it.

  


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Posted on Tue, Sep 27, 2005 16:52

hehehe

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Posted on Mon, Sep 26, 2005 18:17

Ladies - thank you so much for your insights...I've kind of gotten past being ticked off about this, but it was just kind of mystifying how he was so excited to meet me one day and then having all these "issues" the next. Oh well!

Right now I'm just concentrating on buying a house and getting all that settled, so I guess I don't have much time to worry about it! Again, thanks - I really appreciate the insights! You ladies are great!



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Posted on Mon, Sep 26, 2005 01:06

Sometimes people sabatoge themselves or the things in their lives because of fear. Fear of failure, fear or success, fear of change. Don't take it personally or allow their negativity and problems to phase you. Enjoy your time and be glad that you got an easy out before you became too invested in the person. It would have hurt a lot more if you had been.

Rei