*POOF* He Disappeared... Romance

  • View author's info posted on Oct 18, 2008 18:26


    I can say why I've ditched someone on here. I was talking to her on the phone regularly, and we were really getting along well, and I was really psyched about meeting her and even thought it could go pretty far, but then she said something that just shook me, I guess she had been calling me a lot one day, which is fine, and then she reached me and I was on my way to work or something and she said why haven't you called me? And seemed disappointed, so I apologized and everything seemed cool, later I was about to hang up we were about to say goodbye for the conversation, and she said I'll call you later, no way, you call me instead. Like she made it sound like a test, like I have to call to gain back her respect or something, so I never talked to her again. She e-mailed me a few times after, and I ignored it. No specific reason, just a feeling about the way she was.

    Then this other girl I was on a date with at a bar told me that you have to be stupid to work at a bar, I have a real good job and all, but it's my first good job ever, previously I have a list of crappy cashiering and manual labor jobs that spans the grand number of 35, so after the date was over, I ditched her completely too.

    I don't know if there's any lesson or wisdom in this post, but you asked why guys ditch, these are the two that stand out the most.

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  • View author's info posted on Aug 26, 2008 21:43


    Been there, unfortunately. I am sorry it happens to other women as well.

    I actually met a man on eharmony. Dated two months. Yeah, we slept together at that point. Seemed like we were going in the right direction. Although we hadn't met eachother kiddos yet. But it was leading there, I thought. I felt all giggly when I was around him, he said he did too.

    Then talked to him one night, said he had some friends coming into town the next night and may not be able to talk to me for about two days. But said he will miss me.

    Never heard from him again. Left 3 voice mails and and an email. What is that about? Yeah that one hurt.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2005 21:28


    I know what y'all are going through. The same thing has happened to me. He was special, though. I don't have any ill feelings toward him. Things got a little emotional a little fast and we both got a little scared.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2005 16:27


    Well Margo, I have had, what I've been noticing seems to be the norm, that you meet someone after taking the time to get to know them. The date seems to go well and then you part ways and never hear from them again.

    I have decided that I can't worry or wonder about the motivation or actions of others or I may go crazy in the pursuit of wanting to know WHY folks can be so inconsiderate. It doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt or nag at me as a person, but I still treat others as I wish to be treated and move forward with my head held high.

    You sound like a smart lady!! Perhaps he got cold feet, maybe not, but I say just chalk it up to experience and move on with the business of living. I'm sure there are many other deserving gentlemen who'd love nothing more than to spend time with you and the rest of us nice women out here.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 18, 2005 13:27


    I definately know what you mean! While I have never deliberately just ignored someone, I'm sure maybe one or two have fallen thru the cracks and for that I'm sorry. I at least try to let people know "hey, I've found someone else" or "Hey, it just doesn't feel right!" I was seeing a "guy". We clicked right away. Discussions of moving in, marriage, children's names, etc were held and started by HIM! Then all of a sudden he needs more alone time and can only see me once a week. After several months of fun, sex, and intimate conversations he stops answering his phone and stops calling all together! I even sent him an e-mail saying hey, it's fine if things aren't working for you, can I just have my key back, but did not get a return e-mail. I was left in dating purgatory! I will just assume he's dead on the side of the road somewhere! Could you imagine all of our jerks together dead on the side of the road? At least we could drive by and say "Hey! So that's where he/she went! Ah!"
  • View author's info posted on Mar 17, 2005 20:14


    I know sort of what you are talking about. I had one lady say she was interested and we sent messages back and forth and were getting along pretty good. Even talked to each other on the phone. She said she was looking for male friends who weren't gay. We finally agreed to meet one night for drinks and a face to face. The night we met, I was very pleased to see a very pretty blonde woman who made me smile from the get go. We went in to have a drink and she says she doesn't have as much time as planned and within 15 minutes, she's finishing her drink while I still have most of my beer. I walked her to her car and haven't heard back from her. I noticed her profile is no longer on this site so she might have changed her mind or who knows what. Guess women are just as rude as men. Go figure.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 17, 2005 15:42


    It's really hard on these dating services am also on yahoo before i found a site for bbw. I met quite a few guys and it seemed like after we met and they saw me they were not interested no matter how good i think the date went and i never hear back from them but i have always been honest about my apperence and I don't lie i am full figured. Not huge but big and beautiful and don't worry it's his loss!!!!!
  • View author's info posted on Mar 16, 2005 23:52


    Margo,

    Next time you do a search, just go into his profile and add him to your ignore list so you don't have to be bothered with that reminder!
  • View author's info posted on Mar 16, 2005 07:22


    I'm sure once a certain person, on this site, who seems to respond on every subject talked about,will have some kind of DEEP, PROFOUND, explanation, for this but, the truth is, it's unfortunate that these things happen, and, it's happened a lot, includng to me, and, not just once. It doesn't matter what your profile says, and, how detailed it is, as to what you want, and, are looking for. It doesn't matter how you look, and, what THEY say THEY are looking for. We take our chances, when we put ourselves out there, and, hope for the best. For some reason, I foolishly thought that this site, because it's specific to BBW/BHM, etc., that it would be different, but, it's not. The same thing happens on this site, as on every other site that I have been on. It takes all kinds, and, all kinds, are on all sites. It's just unfortunate the insincere ones can't be weeded out, and, only the serious, considerate, sincere, SINGLE (not married looking for something on the side), men apply. I am sure some guys are experiencing similar situations, as well, but, only speaking from a woman's point of view.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 15, 2005 23:06


    I am finding I am not even getting a chance to see anyone face to face. I just chatted with a man by email this past weekend. I thought it had gone well. We live not far from each other and he is even moving to my area in a couple of months. Sounded so promising. Now nothing for the last few days. I have sent him an email just to see if he responds, but I am not expecting much. It seems if they start out really excited, it all fizzles just as fast.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 15, 2005 22:11


    I don't mean to speak for most people, but from reading these posts, you are not alone. It's happened to me before. I don't know your circumstances, but I have experienced where I have ran into them later, and they really couldn't give a reason exactly.

    From used to having good male friends, they tell me stories, and that is where I get my insight. Sometimes it was because the girl was too nice and didn't want to hurt their feelings, not a challenge, or too much of a challenge (as in they were intimidated but would never say the word). Even though he did hurt you by blowing you off, he doesn't have to see the pain he caused.

    Every man is different, but take it as a positive. You don't want to find out farther down the road that he wasn't right for you. I don't have the answers, but keep positive. I guess the best advice I can give is don't make future relationships pay for past relationship mistakes. Good luck and I hope this helped.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 15, 2005 15:53


    Margo, from what you've said, I guess he just didn't "click" with you. The standing you up for two dates was his cowardly way of telling you that it was over, rather than coming out and saying it. Sometimes, you have to come out and ask a guy, "Is this going anywhere?" and even then, look to his actions to speak louder than his words.

    Whatever you do, don't let this sideline you in the game! I haven't read it, but on another site some of the ladies were talking about a book called, "He's Just Not That Into You" perhaps your local library or bookstore has a copy, or you can mailorder one from a website. It might provide some insights as to guy behavior, and let you know that it's him, not you.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 15, 2005 15:36


    Unfortunately, I don't have an answer! Recently that happened with a guy I met here. Although our relationship did not get that far we really had several deep conversations and I was really vibing this guy. But the calling stopped the e-mails stopped all communications had been shut off. I think it is horrible that men do this! At least have the courage to say "I am not interested" or "I don't think this is going to work out for me" something.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 15, 2005 10:36


    Yep I have it happen to me too hun. The best thing I can tell you is he has some issue or problem and doesn't want or doesn't know how to communicate that. What I would say is forget him unless he comes back around with a reason and rock on with your life. Life is too short to waste time on someone who doesnt return calls, emails, etc. I would also put in here that you can not take it as something wrong with you, if you do you are setting yourself up.

    My 2 cents not necessrily the opinion of our sponsers ;)

    Ravenna
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