WHAT was he thinnking??!! Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jun 14, 2007 at 07:27 PM

    I get an e-mail response to an ad. We e-mail for three weeks (kinda sparse on his end til the last week). He won't use phone cause he's "shy" and doesn't know what to say during a lull in conversation - would rather e-mail, then he has time to get his thots together. Three times he suggests a date and time to meet. I have other plans and suggest an alternative date and time; he doesn't take me up on them. Final time he suggests time and date - I'm available and say, "sure, yeah!" One minute later he's e-mailing a hissy fit cause he noticed my original ad (at craig'slist) had been updated three days before, so he accuses me of being a player and he's "out!" Say what??!! Did he think we were "exclusive" after only 10 (or less) e-mails, no phone calls, and we hadn't even met yet! Or do some guys who actually get a "let's meet" response freak and find an excuse to back out? I'm confused. I asked him why and what he was thinking, but no response. Yes, I realize I'm better off knowing that he's got some "issues" before meeting him and I'm OK with most of this, but I'm just sooo cornfuzzeled about why it even happened!!! (I'm new at this forum stuff and I've never asked for help before, so be gentle!)
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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 10, 2007 at 11:14 PM

    It doesn't sound like you are over-reacting to me. I have seen things like this before and had something similar happen to me about a year ago. And if he is "testing the waters" like thenextstep thinks, then that's way too gamey for me. Better to find out this guy's got some problems before you meet him than after you might have gotten involved. You might even thank him for being so transparent and showing you his big flaws early in the game!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 01, 2007 at 08:14 PM

    You may all be over-reacting, drawing conclusions all over the place. What if he is testing the waters at this stage to see what your reaction would be, eg whether you will resort to cursing? Many a good relationship have had bumpy starts.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 27, 2007 at 03:16 PM

    I agree with jjiggl 100%! God gave us that little small voice inside us for a reason and we need to use it! I have encouraged so many women on here and in real life to pay attention to every little detail. Ask a lot of questions and pay attention to the answers. Ask the same questions different ways to see if he is consistent. Bottom line... if a man (or woman) won't let you call them at home, they are most likely married. If they get upset too easily over something trivial, they are probably married. If they keep making excuses for not meeting or stand you up, they are probably married. Just speaking from experience. But there are a lot of great guys on this site... you just have to weed through the jerks to find them. Don't judge every man by the men who have hurt you or disappointed you.... after all, you wouldn't want them to hold you accountable for every woman who every hurt them. Good luck sweetie!


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  • View author's info Posted on Jun 26, 2007 at 03:54 PM

    I think that he was married and when you finally nailed down a time and date to meet, he had to come up with an excuse.

    From being here a while and reading the forum and blogs, I have found that it is best to follow your first mind when it comes to meeting anyone here. Not just in meeting them, but also follow your first mind and don't let anyone waste your time. If you feel suspicious about anyone or anything, your best bet is to go with that feeling. Pay heed to red flags, too. Too many posts have contained the words, "I thought that something was strange...", or "I had a feeling..." or "I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt..." after someone has gotten burned.

    But all in all, this is a great site to wander around in. There are some very nice, funny and great people here.

    Best of luck to you.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 25, 2007 at 10:30 PM

    wow hun i think you dodged a bullet on that one. Just by what you said i can already tell that he was way to possesive and that could have led to being abusive.
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