Sashhh some of the BEST times are had when you are single.. epsecially if you are content with who you are as a person ... I personally LOVE being single , but a relationship is nice too if there arent too many dramas .... good for u for finding happiness in being single ... I wish more people could be the same !!
good poin mrgw ....but i think the impression some are getting is that because a person likes being single, then they cannot be committed to a committment...lets put it another way...in my experience my female friends when they become single suddenly they need to find someone to replace that other person ...the time alone is spent walloing in self-pity and despair...so they frequently go from one bad realtionshpi to another...however with my male friends when they arrive in that situation they spend the time enjoying their freedom, usually stating to their flings what their true intentions are...sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are not but when they meet the right one they are committed...it's refreshing to hear other females saying that being single is not a time to be pitied but a time to self-discovery....we all want to find a companion but it is how you choose to spend that time in your search for that mate is what can make or break a person
Being single, alone, by yourself or whatever isn't a bad thing at all; for most people. There are some of us (human beings) who can function and thrive when we are by ourselves but there are also those people who strongly desire, need, thrive upon the company of others. Personally, I really enjoy my alone time so that I can go places and do what I want when I want. But, for me personally, I would not want to live my entire life alone and not have someone to share it with. Maybe it's somthing left over from mankinds primordeal existance. The need to have others in the group for safty, propegation, education, and company. There are a lot of people who simply need the company of others. I would suppose that those who don't particuluarly need the company of others have reached a certain level of self-awareness and confidence so as not to desire the close company of others 24/7
i popped into this post cause it had a positive vibe and then saw rock and sharpe debate and my first thought was HUH!!!....I love being single and i'm also seeing someone who was on this site from the states, i have no problem being a couple and still appreciate the time i was single .... just because you love the status of single does not mean you cannot also enjoy being a couple ....the misconception of society is that saying your other half...hey 1 and 1 make two therefore i would prefer someone who is capable of funtioning on their own as well as a unit, that's why it's important when you are single to use that time to get to know yourself....btw sharpe if you can't give a 100% to yourself you can't give 100% percent to a realtionship...if a person as an individual does not know what they want ...how do they expect to communicate that to a partner....just a thought
I'm happy single. In fact I'm usually the only women you'll see go to the movie theater completely by herself, no Friends family or man just myself. I'm looking because I know that life is short, I don't have much experience (got to try on a lot of clothing to find the rite outfit...got to date a lot of men to find the one), and while I don't need a man it would be nice to have one.
Rockchickbbw write: PS ... I have ALWAYS hated that saying "have your cake and eat it too" what are you supposed to do with the friggin cake just sit and look at it ?? of course you are going to eat it !!!
I agree wholeheartedly Rockchick ... let's face it, no cake's gonna last long on a fatties site is it?!!
As for being single .... or not being single .... it's up to us as intelligent human beings to make the best of whichever comes our way. I've been single for longer than I care to admit to, and yes it hacks me off sometimes. But I'm not going to rush to be with someone just for the sake of not being single.
I'm getting choosier as I get older - I guess that comes from being fairly comfortable with who I am and not being prepared to settle for second best.
I'm far from perfect (shocking, but true, lol) and am not looking for Mr Perfect ... just Mr Perfect-for-me.
The cheesy quote on my calendar the other day said "to the world you are one person but to one person you are the world" - well that'd be lovely, but until that happens it's the single life for me!
I am afraid I am not one of these girls who when she is single Hopes and prays and sits and waits for a guy to sweep me up off my feet, to feel loved etc etc, being miserable and saying ... WHEN is he going to come my way ... I am so lonely ... BOO HOO ... No way ....that was me in my teens early 20's ... not now .... and I am happy for the person I am today ... not going to appoligise for that ;)
Jeeeez men can make the simplest things seem SOOOOO complicated sometimes .....
PS ... I have ALWAYS hated that saying "have your cake and eat it too" what are you supposed to do with the friggin cake just sit and look at it ?? of course you are going to eat it !!!
I love the man I am with, and and completely commited to him. I have no trouble picturing myself with him for the rest of my life.
However, I treasure the time between my last serious relationship and this one. It allowed me to learn about who I was, shed my co-dependecy and stand on my own two feet, and let me see that I could be happy on my own.
And oddly enough, it took me being happy in being single, and not worrying about being alone in order to be ready to be part of a healthy relationship.
Rockchickbbw write: Cant recall saying I wasnt 100% about something ....?? why cant I love being single as well as loving to be in a no drama relationship ....?? thats a bit strange .... UK is much further than USA if its the distance u are getting at ! :P I am quite happy with the prospect of Mr NYC coming here ... doesnt mean I still didnt love my single times either .. sorry if that doesnt make sense to u sharpy
It doesn't actually. Because a commitment is a commitment. For it to work between you and Mr.NY you would both have to offer a hell of a commitment, one would have to give up their home, their job, move away from their family and friends. So if it's the real thing then you've got to be the type of person who can give 100% to a relationship and that means moving in together and inevitably he's going to ask you to marry him.
But you confess to liking being single so you're not the marrying type. You can't be.
I honestly wish you luck with it and I really hope it works out for you, but if I were Mr.NY and had read your post I wouldn't want to tie you down, well not in that sense anyway.
Sorry but i'm saying it more out of concern for you as you might not realise what you're heading into here.
It's not like dating someone who lives down the road.
I just don't believe that you can have you're cake and eat it.
From what you say Mr.NY is someone who you're having more than a one night stand with, so it's about having a relationship with him not just a bit of fun. So for it to work you're looking at one of you making major life changes and that means you are looking at growing old together so 'Single' is not a concept that you're going to be enjoying for very much longer.
But I will agree to differ with you as it's pointless debating the matter any further.
And when I say good luck, I mean it, I'd be sorry to find out that it hadn't worked out for you both.
Cant recall saying I wasnt 100% about something ....?? why cant I love being single as well as loving to be in a no drama relationship ....?? thats a bit strange .... UK is much further than USA if its the distance u are getting at ! :P I am quite happy with the prospect of Mr NYC coming here ... doesnt mean I still didnt love my single times either .. sorry if that doesnt make sense to u sharpy
Rockchickbbw write: Sashhh some of the BEST times are had when you are single.. epsecially if you are content with who you are as a person ... I personally LOVE being single , but a relationship is nice too if there arent too many dramas .... good for u for finding happiness in being single ... I wish more people could be the same !!
I'm begining to wonder if you know yourself from this post. You have the drama of a guy about to fly from NY to Oz to be with you and yet you admit on here that you love being single?
If you love being single then you should stay single as it won't work out if you're doing something that you're not 100% about.
It is really a question of what you can get used to.
So if you have lived with someone and suddenly find yourself single it can be quite a shock to the system.
Likewise if you are used to being totally selfish, then suddenly having to think about someone else's feelings can be a job in itself and something that you might want to keep checking on if you want to make a success of it.
If you've been single for a long time or with someone for a long time then any change to your lifestyle is going to be quite traumatic for you.
Both situations can be equally as good and equally as bad, once you can learn to live with them, but as humans we are good at adapting to changing circumstances.
Be true to yourself, love yourself, care for yourself and think of yourself as being your own best friend and try not to become your own worst enemy.