Hi everyone, I've got an outrageous question for you all-- especially for the guys out there...
Are BBW just for s*x, or would you be seen in public with one? Would you introduce one to your friends or family?
I've been getting the impression lately that men who are attracted to "women of size" are just looking for "secret s*x" and don't really have any interest beyond that. We all know that sex is a significant part of life, but you've got to get out of the house once it awhile! What woman of any size wants to be a source of public embarrassment for her man?
I have met at least one man in my life who fits that category you speak of -- when I was larger than I am today. I guess I was close to 300 lbs. at that time, and he thought I was the "cat's meow," but he confessed to me that he would NEVER want his family or friends to know that he liked such a big woman.
The last time I talked to him he told me that he could not take me out because he did not want to be seen with me in public, but that he would love to see me in private. I told him that in that case he would have to visit me only in his memory, and I never saw hiim again. Why would I want to be treated like I am some kind of a freak? This is what I told him.
It is a sad thing that may men feel a deep insecurity about their desire to be with a large woman -- to the point that they are ashamed of themselves and ashamed of the woman. (Now that I think of it, I met more than one man like this, but the first example I just gave was the rudest one.)
Happily, not all men at like that. I ADMIRE men who have the confidence not to worry what others will think when he chooses a large or supersized woman for his partner. Fat admirers and BBW lovers who are not ashamed to love big women (and women who love big men too) totally ROCK...!!!
That may be true in some cases, I like all women but I am just more physically attracted to BBW's and I've dated models,etc...I go for who makes me happy. Life is short, I want to enjoy each and every moment of it! And I do with big beautiful women!
Unfortunately, for many men this may be the case. But the factor is not being a large woman--some men feed off of insecure women. If you have confidence in yourself you will attract confident men(woman). If you're a pushover--you attract the players.
It can also be something else you might not have thought about - some men go with a BBW because they figure that no other men would be interested in them. When I was at my highest weight - the men I was involved with and even my husband at the time didn't think other men would hit on me - which was absolutely not true. As I've lost weight - I've also lost relationships due to their insecurities not being able to handle their idea that other men would hit on me and be interested. What each of them didn't understand is that I've been hit on more when I was big then when I was slim! It took me a while to figure out why - but it finally dawned on me that when I was thin men were too intimidated to get close to me. Now I get propositioned constantly and by every tom, and harry because they assume because I'm a BBW that I would be so desperate and/or so grateful that I would just automatically assume any offer presented to me. Boy are they surprised when they discover that I don't hop on any offer presented to me like the straving dog they assume I'd be! Yes BBW does not mean desperate!
Hi all I agree that most guys see us a means of easy sex?? I have been a player for quite a while and certainly find alot of men see BBWs as easy targets, happy to have sex, but not bee seen with us walking down the street on their arm or shown off to their friends. Basically I think its the way we are all socialised in western culture. A successful man has the thinner attractive chicky babe on his arm. IT FEEDS HIS EGO, unfortunately us bigger gals also get told a lot that we are more giving etc sexually and emotionally. BUT these guys still dont want to be seen in public with us.
the majority of males seem so shallow, there are few out there that really are game to publically acknowledge they prefer us for our bodies!!
ps I am a size 24-26 Australian size (US about size 20-22)
No, BBW's are not just for sex. The problem lies not with you, but with men. Men are in constant competition with each other, especially about stupid things like who has the hotter girlfriend, or who has the biggest... rims. Because of that rediculousness, most insecure men today are even willing to compromise their values and true feelings in order to satisfy their fragile egos. It's sad, but it's the way the 21st century has sadly ended up.
I can say these things at 22 years old because even I went through that phase. I managed to finally get over it. It's probably one of the stupidest ways ever, but it worked! Details later... lol
I dont get it do u think by 2090 women will stillthat men want to only have sex with them I can imagine on a payed bbw chat dating stie what they call men that ask them if they could take them to bed perverts when are women going to wake uop and get tired of being lied to or cheated on by men
I had chatted with a man from a differant site for a few months online and on the phone. He was aware im a BBW. We met and he took me to a very out of the way place. He then told me he loved having sex with BBWs because we could "handle the deep slamming" but would never be seen in public with them. His loss.
you fall in love with someone for who they are inside not outside we all change ( physically ) over time if only things start to sag or hair color changes or falls out Yes there has to be the chemistry initially but to truely care for someone you have to accept that they may change physically over time just like YOU will
I agree Cathii, especially if she's a very attractive woman and her losing weight means guys that wouldn't have given her the time of day before suddenly notice her. I once worked with a girl like that. She was a BBW and I thought she was extremely hot. She lost weight and suddenly other guys at work that'd never noticed her before were lined around the corner. Of course I still thought she was hot, but had come to that conclusion well before they did.
Sorry, tried to edit this message. It should be at the top of the page....
I understand that a lot of BBWs become cynical, and I guess many men are either j*rks or are simply not comfortable to be seen in public with a BBW.
My own interest in BBWs is not because I think they would be "easy" in any sense. It?s because I?m just not attracted to skinny girls. I don?t know why, that?s just the way it is.
However, for me it did take some time to find the courage to actually pursue BBWs and to be comfortable in public with them. The reason for this is that showing the world that you prefer big woman is almost like coming out as being gay. I think this may be a big reason why many men are uncomfortable to be seen with a BBW.
My friends still laugh at me when we?re out and I?m approaching a big girl. They think I?m crazy, because I have no problems in getting skinny good looking girls, I just don?t want to.
The above does not get better as a lot of BBWs seem to think that I am a freak for wanting them. I guess that also has to do with the low self esteem problem.
Rockchickbbw write: xciter ... interesting what you said about being seen with a big girl in public is like "coming out" when u are gay ... I wouldnt have thought of it in that way .... either way you look at it really, not saying you suk, saying that I didnt realise it was that DIFFICULT for some to be seen with a bigger gal ...
This is just my own experience, however I think there are similarities. By showing that you prefer something different from the norm (at least the what media and today?s fashion try to enforce as the norm) some people will laugh at you and regard you as somewhat odd. I think this is definitely more common with young men, feeling insecure and not being very confident.
Personally, I got over it when I was about 25. Until then I neither dated nor had sex with big girls. Today, I am not afraid to show that I adore BBWs.
Of course this "problem"(for men)is nothing compared to how mean people can be to BBWs at times. I am just trying to suggest one possible explanation for this unpleasant behaviour. Obviously it must be incredibly hurting to date someone that does not want to be seen with you.
Theophrastus write: Such people deserve to be castrated and then have their face mutilated so that for the rest of the lives all they'll ever hear are the screams of children and the laughter of their parents as they shamble down the street.
Hey Rock at least he was honest and put it out there. As much as we all want to cry out and say it isn't right, it isn't moral, it isn't fair it is however reality. I would not be surprised if a lot of men felt that way. People can be mean and we have all read the posts about the bashing some of us have taken in public. It takes a secure/mature person to hear that kind of taunting and not be reduced to tears. Other peoples acceptance means alot to many people, especially when they are younger.
As always just my opinion.
Theophrastus write: I find the attitude of being ashamed to be seen with a big woman to be utterly hateful and anyone who feels that way deserves to be horse-whipped.
What kind of craven creature is so utterly in thrall to the opinions of others that he's willing to ignore his own tastes, his sense of right and wrong and the feelings of the woman he's with?
Such people deserve to be castrated and then have their face mutilated so that for the rest of the lives all they'll ever hear are the screams of children and the laughter of their parents as they shamble down the street.