Modgal--I tottally feel your pain on that! I'm still looking for "the one" but until I find him, I'm gonna have a WHOLE LOTTA FUN BABY!! lol You have to have fun with it and you have to be able to laugh about it later. It s*cks for a while but it will get better; that I promise! Lisa
You know, I found some very weird guys at this site. Some were pure w*horedogs just looking for a place to do the cybernasty. They sweet talk you and all and then start the s*x talk. That was when I backed away. There are so many signs that a guy (or a girl) are pondscum who use the internet for a playground.
I had tons of flirts and e-mails when I was very active at this site and I also sent out flirts. Out of about 50 or 60 guys I only found one who was honest about who he was. I am marrying him this Sunday. He is the only guy who didn't try to impress me and is the only guy that I fell in love with.
About spouting names, I don't do that. Sure I can give you a lengthy list of jerks, but I feel that if I do that I am stooping to their level. Just chalk your experiences up to lessons and e-mail the jerk's name to potential suitors that he may hurt.
Modgal--I'm sorry to hear that. You're too young to have had such heartbreak and I can certainly understand your reluctance in the opposite gender. I'm sure you've heard this before but keep your chin up; it will happen for you and when you least expect it to. I've had to do some self reflection and for me, I realized in some of my past relationships that I wasn't as strong and self assured as I could have and should have been. When you're self assured and confident, it tends to scare off a vast majority of the a$$holes. They don't want to have to work to win you over, so they get bored or ticked off and move on. I'm not saying that this happens in call cases and you may have to weed through allot of the jerks/a$$holes/sociopaths to get to the good ones, but when you do, it's all worth it. I try to always listen to my inner voice. Always trust your gut; it will never steer you wrong.
Well being a NEWBIE at the site... I am GLAD this poster originated this thread. You just have to WATCH OUT out there and unfortunately there are JERKS who can prey on a larger gals feelings too and just the whole thing. I am glad I am now on alert and I'm VERY glad classy brought this up for us newbies on here. THANK YOU CLASSY!!
Rockchick, I'm thankful for your insight, but it helps me to believe that he knew he wasn't good enough for me! LOL I guess everyone deals with heartache differently. Just because he treated me badly, doesn't mean that I still don't want to meet a NICE GENTLEMAN from the UK. I'm thinking that someone must be sick of living there and like it better here on the west coast of Florida with me when I get there! LOL I have to laugh at everything, too, or I might be too upset about it. But, before I go, thanks for your wonderful comments! I do agree, I'm just trying to sew together my poor broken heart at this point. (sigh)
Teeree--I think we believe it because we want so much to believe its true. We naturally want to believe the best in people, even if we've been hurt in the past, that's human nature.
The problem is that there are so many people out there that take advantage of that and tell people what they think they want to hear, just for self gratification. That, in my humble opinion, is a LIE, and I don't tolerate liars well. Frankly, in my humble opinion, neither should anyone else. Why should we enable them to continue their debauchery? I too, am a veteran of the dating scene and I know that if it looks like a rat, it smells like a rat and it acts like a rat.....it's a rat.
But alas, I'm also adult enough to realize that there are 2 sides to every story and in some cases, all is not what it appears to be. I have had my fair share of heartbreak in my life that has left me feeling quite bitter at times. I also realize though, that bitterness and hate is quite a load to carry. A load that I no longer wish to carry.
I guess what I'm saying is this is a really fine line that we need to watch before we cross. We all just need to be more aware of our situations and also be aware of what we say, when we say it, and how we say it. Also, we need to be aware of our actions too, because in most caes, actions speak louder then words.
Lonesome dove your guy sounds very much like the one I was talking to always an excuse for everything very sweet with words. I guess we all learn and move on I know that is what I have done. I do not think they understand or maybe just do not care that their deceit and lies do hurt. I wish you the best even if it is not the same guy we both deserve better than what they had to offer.
The issue I have is with this site. They say they screen profiles, not sure what they screen them for. I have had blatantly married men send me emails solicting the physical. I believe I am pretty specific in my profile in that I am not interested in men that are involved in the least. How many of you are paying members of this site? I love to read the message boards, very much fun. I bet we could post a few names of men or women that have been less than sincere and find that we dealt with some of the same people. There was one man that was from the Netherlands that said he loved me after 3 or 4 emails, do people REALLY believe that sort of thing? Or is it me?
this just my opinion on this subject. we need to be careful , there are always 2 sides to every story. we need to be careful not to banish someone, just because 1 person out of the 2 didnt get what they wanted out of the relationship, or friendship. i agree in part. if someone is chatting up more than one person and telling all of them that they are the one and only, then so be it. they will have to deal with that.
i am just saying that we need to get all of the facts before someone is condemed. that is just my take on the subject .
Rockchick,I've never seen so many Schmucks in one place!!! You're so cute! But back on the topic, I've seen some real jerks on here and I've also met some really cool people. I mean girls as well as guys. I have a blast reading the forums and talking to people and I'm not going to let a few Schmucks (ha!) mess up a good thing. I can meet men anywhere, but I like hanging out here for now. If it happens, it happens, if not, oh well, some dude is totally missing out, cuz I'm pretty awesome (I'd date me)!!
Time marches on, and having wonderful girlfriends really helps to heal broken hearts. Sometimes they can tell you things like how much more worthwhile you are than someone who hurt you. And then again, sometimes someone realizes that he simply isn't good enough for you and could never be, so he had to pull away.
You pick up the pieces of your broken heart and go on. Then one day you realize he was right, because you find someone much better suited to you that you might have not given the time of day when you were in the other relationship and now you can enjoy your new sweetie.
Of course, these are just my opinions and my persistent ability to look on the good side no matter how bad the situation. You can sit there and look at the glass, crying because it is half empty or you can smile when you look and think, ???Hey, I still have lots left!???. Think positively on the past situation and what you learned from it, and go on with a smile for the new person. I simply refuse to give up on life, love and the powers of wonderful friends!
I know how it feels to be hurt. At first I was agreeing that someone who did that to me should be exposed for what he was. I was feeling very badly and depressed until I had a chat with a wonderful friend. She helped me look at it a totally different way that I thought I would share with those who have been hurt too. Its kind of like the ???glass is half full not half empty??? idea.
Don't look at the person that hurt you like he was out to get you, but rather that he loved you enough to let you go. After all, he might not have been able to give you the life you so richly deserve. Just like Whitney Houston's song from the BodyGuard movie, ???I will always love you???. He loved you enough to give you up to have a better chance at a more wonderful life. Like the song, he wishes you joy and happiness and love, perhaps more than he could have ever given you. He knew he wouldn't be enough or have enough inside of him to make you happy, so he went away and left you to find a better life. He knew you would find someone more suitable and of higher quality than he would ever be, so he let you go.
LOL..Just think of all the categories we could come up with!-Make them earn points to get on the good list! A board of directors could review them LOL The directors ,of course being women who've been burned!
I am new to this -but here's my opinion for whatever it's worth: Why not start a list for all the WORTHWHILE guys out there?? A list of jerks would start up alot of flack for sure.- Oh and let me add that I would be willing to offer my services to check out any potential candidates for that list-Just looking to serve my community...LOL
I'd like to add...if one person says something about another person, one could chalk that up to just bad feelings. If 2 people say the same thing, could give one a reason to pause. If 3 people say the same thing, that's a pattern. There's too many idiots out there as it is and I for one don't have the time to weed through the BS. Any help that someone wants to give me, I'll take it. You read about the crap all the time where someone has taken 10, 12 men or women for a ride, and I'm not talking about a long, leisurely ride in the country in a convertable. If someone wants to take the time to inform others about someone, I'll read it and MAKE MY OWN DECISION. I have no one to blame but myself then if something goes wrong.