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HELP I need advice
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Posted on Tue, Dec 20, 2005 16:57

I am meeting a guy TOMORROW, evening that I have been talking to for the last month or so from this site. We are just casually meeting, then Friday evening were going out together. I have had so many bad experiences meeting men in the past. What is the best way not to scare him off? He has no idea what I look like. He has sent me a pic. Any good advice from you guys would be of great help. Thanks



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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 07:27

I don't have a pic posted, and I have nothing to hide, if someone I found interesting and genuine requested one I sent him one, but I don't think it's a big deal if you choose to post a pic or not. I do think we should be honest about our age, height and body size in our profiles though. We all having our reasons for choosing whether to post a pic or not. I've met some nice guys from online dating sites, some had pics, some didn't. I met the gentleman I'm currently seeing on this site a few months ago, neither of us had a pic posted. So far, things are going good. :) I don't think posting a pic has a whole lot to do if you'll click once you meet in person as long as you are honest about your age, height and body size in your profile. What I'd be interested in getting some opinions on is how people feel about when you have to travel say a half hour or more to initially meet someone, who should do the traveling, the guy or the gal ?



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 08:47

Safety reasons aside. Posting a pic is valid. Lets face it the first thing you notice about someone is how they look or move or what ever. Would you really meet someone if you had no idea what they looked like, seems to me that would be asking for trouble. Why not let someone see you unless you have something to hide.



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Posted on Mon, Jan 09, 2006 18:37

I'm older, 52, so maybe some of my views are a bit old fashioned. I've read on occasion were gals will travel an hour or more to meet a guy for the first time. I personally don't think that's a good idea, one reason is from a safety stand point, I want to be in safe, familiar surroundings when I first meet someone from on line, so I think it was smart that you took a friend with you, the second reason is that IMHO if a guy is into a gal and sincerely wants to meet, he will do the traveling.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 08, 2006 17:14

That's right. Posting you pic does not mean the guys are going to start stalking you. I want a guy to have a good idea what he's getting (initially anyway) when he sees my pic...Just use your common sense when dealing with folks, especially if your initial contact is online. Ask questions, pay attention.

Not posting your pic gave you no better results than if you had...Not a guarantee of course, but you at least have a better shot of attracting those who have a genuine interest, and you avoid the whole "downplaying" thing, something that one might take as an insecurity and use to your disadvantage. Good luck to you.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 08, 2006 12:51

I think you can post a pic, without revealing your whole identity, and without being stalked. Just use common sense and good judgement, and get to know someone REALLY well before giving out phone #'s.

However spending lots of time becoming involved without sharing pics, or fibbing about your appearance (whether exagerating, downplaying, or otherwise) doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

I agree, if someone genuinely cares for you it should be for yourself, versus what you look like, however is it fair to yourself or to the other person to not be totally upfront from the beginning?

  


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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 23:38

I'm with Cathii on this one. Post your pic, then you won't have so much to worry about when meeting.



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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 10:38

Thank you ladies for all the wonderful advice! I took a friend with me tho the initial meeting, which was a total waste of time! We drove almost 2 hrs, once we got there (at his place of employmen) he "had just recieved a phone call and his dad needed to be rushed to the ER, he hurt his back". We talked for maybe 5 min, I asked him if we were still on for Fri night, he said certainly and that he would call me with what time and where would be good to meet. Im still waiting on the call. My friend thinks he was married, because he wouldnt take his left hand out of his jacket pocket. Even though he got the call before we got there, ne didnt call on the cell and say sorry I have to run to the hospital. I guess another one to chalk up for no go. About the no pic thing, a very close friend got involved with a man through the net, he was almost 500 miles away, he got to her town and stalked her like crazy for almost 6 mo. I feel that if a man is interested in me he wont really care what I look like, and the same goes for me. I also like to tell them on the phone that I look alot worse than I really do.



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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 14:35

Well.. I aint a fella, but I think you should just be yourself, dont panic, have fun, and try not to take it too seriously....and above all....ENJOY IT!



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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 03:42

Just be yourself... don't try to be something else. Relax... You have nothing to lose. Don't let your expectations get the best of you. And just to be safe, be sure to leave all the information you know about him with a family member just in case. Have fun sweetie!



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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 03:05

You just need to be yourself and relax. If he doesnt like it then im afraid he isnt the right guy for you anyhow. He will like you for been you and not for trying to be somethng your not :o)

have a great time and i hope it works out well for you....good luck! xx



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