I have had enough.
I have only met two men from this site, the first was a very very sweet and nice guy, but we didnt hit it off, but we still talk, and he would be a catch for someone.
BUT..the last one, and yeah, I think he will be the last, was a total and utter disaster.........Only because I really did think this could be it..
He was adorable, charming, met me with flowers and chocolates, had a olvely lunch, arranged to meet that weekend, we did, and it was.......umm...volitile, but good at times.
Since then, he informed me he was married, and his wife is very pregnant...And his profile says separated, and I asked the usual questions..an he gave me all the right answers............YEAH RIGHT!
He gave my 80 year old mum flowers, took her out to lunch, and told her he loved her daughter...and then he sh*ts on me, and her.......
I am giving up this dating lark.
I have done my share of crying when my hubby died...............I dont need this heartache anymore.
Dont be putting words in my mouth, people. In no way, shape, or form did I say that married/separated people are "bad". I have also talked to some great people who are married/separated, and if you are able to stand firm in set boundries (such as being friends only, as an example), then more power to you.
It would be impossible to list every "exception" to the rules of the dating game. I was simply speaking in very broad generalizations. This type of thinking also serves as a wonderful filter for those creeps that are out there. The ones who are more persistant tend to have more substanence.
Here in the States HuggleZ, you can decide to get a divorce on one day, and two months later have the whole process over with. Naturally, there are divorces that become battles and can take much longer.
I also understand and acknowlege the fact that not all married men are players... I was simply stating that there is no way to know which are, and which are not. To play it safe... it's just best not to get involved with a married man/woman.
Oh, but when you finally meet the real one... isn't it worth it. I met my soul mate online and had the best year of my life until he died just before we were to be married. It hurt, but I wouldn't give up that year for anything. I have met a few jerks, but some nice folks too, on here. Only suggestion I would have is to try to go a little slower... easy to get really hurt when you jump in head first. Anyway, my prayers are with you.
I agree HuggleZ.... there are very legitimate reasons that prevent some from getting an instant divorce. I understand you were burned Toketee and I am so sorry about that.... but I think that every situation is different. Yes, you DO have to look really hard at the situation and make sure you understand what is happening before you get too far attached. But the "separated" party should be up front about it and willing to provide "proof" as to why they have not been able to get that divorce finalized and then you can decide if you still want to continue with it. I personally do not think that it means they are off limits. Things happen in life and sometimes things aren't so cut and dry. But that's what makes life so exciting! lol
I mirror your pain, but ike all the others have said... never give up hope.
One thing that I will be certain never to do again, and that is accept dates from any guy that is in anyway attatched. If the profile says separated, they are automatically out. Separated means there are still strings attached, and either they are not wanting to get divorced, or dont have the gonads to do it. To those men, or women... I say, either fix your marriage or get over and out of it. It's not fair to those you try to date and pick up.
To those willing to take the chance with someone who is not legally single....
what can I say. Play with fire, you often get burned. (been there, done that).
Hey Bubs, sorry for your misfortune. I wish I could find that guy and kick him til he hurts as much as you. Time heals all wounds and if you need time I totally understand. Your a great lady and in time the right man will see. Our prayers are with you.
Well Bubs, I too had a similar experience (flowers, the whole bit. We met (my very first meeting ever, I am very new to all of this), we talked for hours every other day... I did not think he was the "one" but I was very fond of this guy and he stood me up (after requesting to see me again). We planned a nice evening out to do holiday things, Tree in Rockerfella Center, Dinner in the city, just a night out together. I took the time off from my second job (happily) to see him and he stood me up with out so much as a phone call. I haven't heard from him since, and I was feeling a little discouraged as well, and then this nice guy emailed me and told me not to let one mans punkish move stop me from possibly meeting someone nice. Just a thought for you deary. Don't meet these jokers with the thought of having a serious relationship, go into these meetings with little more than the expectation of well, if nothing else... I made another friend, then if things don't progress you won't be disappointed.
You are obviously looking for the man of your dreams, don't give up...
Aaawww bubs...don't go.
I've only stayed for the forums, not bothered about the rest of it (and the sh*te that goes with it)
You'll be sadly missed, but if you decide to leave, i wish you lots of love & luck.
Bubs, Please don't give up!!!! I too recentll lost my wife to cancer. I feel for your loss. There is someone out there for you. Someone who treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve. There are genuine guys out there (I consider myself one) Just because of one A$$HOLE who has no consideration for anyone but himself should not stop you. I think that you are attractive and would be a fine companion for any lucky guy. I know it is cleche', but you gotta kiss a lot of toads before you find a prince. So keep in there and settle for nothing less than you deserve.
Bubs, I'm very sorry to hear what's happened to you.
There are so many toads out there, and they can so easily disguise themselves as princes.
It is a let down. You have the excitement, the anticipation...then the disappointment when it goes pear-shaped. I know all about it too.
It really doesn't mean that they're ALL bad, so please don't be disheartened.
Like I keep saying bubs .... Men think WE are complicated !! , I am sorry to hear of whats happened to you ... I personally think its easier to be single then putting up with the garbage out there, and they say you have to rifle through it to find that gem ... well ... I too am through sifting through the garbage ... I hope you find happiness someday though, whether it be within yourself or with someone else