Lumping any big group together is closing off yourself to a variety of individuals. I worked at a religious charity for a while and there were extremes of both liberals and conservatives. True, perhaps a church-going background might raise questions for you, as it would for someone who might be scared off by agnostics. I prefer to wait and see how they communicate.
I don't like smoking but I can deal with smoking... ditto drug use (if not addiction) but there's such a gulf between me and someone who is a regular church goer that nothing's going to overcome that.
So how about you lot?
That's exactly our arguement on wanting a search for christians.... I don't want to date someone that doesn't at least believe in the basics as I do. I tried it and it was heart breaking... religious differences WILL eventually pull you apart if both feel strongly about their beliefs.
Theophrastus write: Excellent list Treasure :-) "overly enjoyed their time in the military"... YES! even as a man I could do without the guys with pictures of themselves in dress uniforms.
"So you blew up an Iraqi schoolbus... what do you want? a medal? ah... I see you already have one :-/"
As for cat ownership, I'm not bothered. I like cats. It's when a woman has 15 that it becomes an issue. Especially if she refers to them as her "babies" and/or they sleep in the bed with her.
hey now. i'm in the military... and i love it! the friends (true friends) i've made, people i've met, things i've seen and experienced... i would not trade any of that for the world! even college was not hardly as fulfilling. blowing up buses and bragging about it, is not what most (i'd even say all, but i have not met all soldiers) of us are about.
When searching profiles, the first thing I look at is marital status. NO MARRIED MEN!! That's my policy. Second is alcohol use. No regular or heavy drinkers. Been there and done that and have the tee shirt. LOL!! Thirdly, I do look at religious affiliation. I'm not a religious person myself but I am a believer and I want someone that is as well. I usually won't respond to profiles with no summary about themselves or what they're looking for. Can't read they're minds. I also don't respond to profiles with s*e*x*u*a*l*l*y explicit usernames. And I don't answer e-mails that begin with "You have superb A$$!" Give me a break!! Of course, I've also learned to watch the nice ones too. Sometimes things just aren't as they appear. Bad teeth, no teeth, and men more than 5 years my senior are turn offs as well.
jackmcmadd write: Deal-breakers, mmm The wearing of tall, black. pointy hats. Incesent Cackling or crowing. Ownership of large Cauldrons and jars labelled, bats wing, or essence of newt. Answering to the term, old crone. And the keeping of one-eyed cats named "thatviciousbas*ard" oh and pipe smoking... Still leaves plenty of scope.
hmmm, I've always said I didn't think I could sleep with a republican. Smoking, and unemployed are deal breakers when searching profile ads, but I think if any of the above existed in a friendship situation turned into "loovveee" I would keep an open mind.
The wearing of tall, black. pointy hats.
Incesent Cackling or crowing.
Ownership of large Cauldrons and jars labelled, bats wing, or essence of newt.
Answering to the term, old crone.
And the keeping of one-eyed cats named "thatviciousbas*ard"
oh and pipe smoking...
Still leaves plenty of scope.
I guess i have to state the basics:
Complete and utter turn offs include
-Complete Emotional and Functional Dependency
-Inconsiderate of my needs/wants/pains, but still -demanding that i adhere to his every whim
-Unemployed due to said lack of motivation
-Closed Minded fanatacism (no, im right about this because xyz, no ifs and or buts! *thumbs down*)
-Someone who can't understand that as a human being i have a full range of emotions that also include anger, hurt, and depression - and is *offended* that i may show such weakness.
- Feeling that its ok to drive under the influence of ANYTHING, because they dont care what happens to *them*. HELLO you are not the only person on the road.
-abusive towards people or animals in ANY way.
Treasure, I have tears rolling down my face after reading that. You really hit several nails on the head!...'small twitchy hands???' what's that about? lol
Politeness is definitely a must in my book.
Whingeing & whining are completely out of the question. I recently wasted my time with a man who was constantly 'tired' and had more tantrums than my three children put together. Don't need it.
Other definite NO-NO's would be excessive drinking, drug abuse, poor hygiene, arrogance and possession of a cat.
If by "Deal Breakers" you mean, what causes me to dislike someone?
They continuously strive to tick me off.
They like to push my buttons just to entertain themselves sadistically with my reactions.
They cause me unnecessary stress.
They do everything to make me really really mad and in the middle of me going off they tell me I am over reacting.
They continuously ask me the same question over and over just because they didn't like my answer the first time.
They like to annoy me.
They are not worried when I am unhappy.
They make me feel badly about myself.
They ignore my needs.
They want me to put more of myself into the relationship than they put in of their self.
It is easier to be without them than with them.
They treat me like a belonging.
I am relieved when they go out the door.