We all have preferences, doesnt mean they are going to get what they want. I am suspicious of those who who say they are 'drama free'. We cant be at this stage of life and not have or have had any dramas.

I don't think there is anything wrong with stating what you like and communicating to others what your preferences are.

Much like many other things in life, it's all about presentation. If someone presents their preferences as preferences versus set in stone rules, it makes a big difference. It's those who boldly proclaim that certain attributes are bad or undesirable to them--or anyone who have a problem. Those folks are closing doors to possibilities before they even present themselves.

Personally, I'm a sucker for the artsy and intellectual types, however if I found a great blue collar guy and we clicked---i'd have no objections!

I think everyone is entitled to admit to a preference or two, but man...people need not be so blunt sometimes. For instance, I love long-haired men, but there is no way I'm going to put it out there that I don't want any short-haired men. If I do that, I might miss a great guy who I could really click with. If you get too picky, you might miss the love of a lifetime.

Tall: Wow, someone listed no flat chested women? I love small to flat, it is not a "rule" though. Hell I listed pear shaped too,(wider bottom smaller bust) but damn, I also listed it wasn't necessary to be that to get on the ride. BUT, to call these rules, they are just preferences aren't they? I mean, a lot of small busted/flat or mastectomy patients do have an esteem 'thing' that they have to deal with every day in advertising, daily conversation and the common, in the basest term, idea that bigger{breast)is better. But, we all have our likes and dislikes. I don't know that I agree with the posters who call them rules, unless they are listed as a serious requirement. IE: my profile states in capital letters: NO COUNTRY MUSIC. I mean it and THAT is a rule!

Sweetcaramel...I totally agree with you! I so wish that men would read ALL of our profiles! So often I get an email from a nice sounding man....spend loads of time chatting, only to have them cry off because they have FINALLY read the profile, and realised that I'm not a size 10 (this was on other dating sites!!) or that I have a child! :)

I think most of us have in mind a number of "ticks in boxes" that make someone appealling to them. It's just that on here it seems more calculating to set something out on your profile.

If some of these folk approached you in a bar would you have the same prblem turning them away if they were clearly not the type who interested you?

Personally I'd rather get a "thanks but no thanks" than be strung along by someone who really isn't interested, so I tend to do as I'd like to be done by!

if I'm interested in someone and i read their profile and i don't "fit" it ...i ignore them or as Theo says block them from my search...we all have some sort of criterion that we usually stick to, just others choose to voice it in advance...it limits ur choice but you also prevent wasting an interested individuals time ....i just wish that some people will read my profile before contacting me ....then i wouldn't feel like a jerk when i reply sorry i have an age limit.

That's interesting... I tend to see those preference things as rules. If someone goes to the trouble of clicking every box apart from the thing I am then I take that as a pretty potent symbol that they don't want to hear from me (and I generally then block them so they don't pop up in future searches).

Though to be fair, I guess not everyone does see them as rules when they click them. But then why express a preference if it honestly doesn't matter to you?

However, age I see as far more elastic.

I agree though, people who lay down rules and call them rules don't exactly come across as welcoming and nice.

I guess I don't take what's written in someone's profile on a personals site as serious as some of you might. I look at it as them simply putting it up front.... not controlling.... not judgemental... not racist (like the other post mentioned)... not anything but possibly just tired of having to keep telling people the same thing over and over so they decide to just put it plain and simple on their profile. I don't get offended by it or think anything of it personally.... just someone stating what they want or are looking for. But that's just me.

That is an interesting point.

I have a "no kids" proviso and while it isn't expressed as a "rule" it is pretty much a deal-breaker, simply because being a parent involves a certain kind of lifestyle that I'm not interested in sharing. For a casual thing it would be fine but I'm not really looking for casual so I like to make it clear where I stand.

I agree that if it's expressed as a list of rules, it might come across as quite authoritarian. Thou Shalt Not Be Black! Thou Shalt Not Be Tall! (which is especially silly as tall women are sublime).

However, otherwise it's just someone being picky and up front. I kind of sympathise with your position though because when I see the 70% of London women who don't date big guys or white guys I think that there's something wrong there... but I'm not sure if it's being controlling and I'm not sure if it's so much something "wrong" with that person as my being frustrated by seeing it all the time.

But guys who don't date tall women are nazis

I hear what you are saying Tall .. I think a better way to word it would be "preferances" rather than rules... it does sound VERY controlling.