Celibate...You? Friendship Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 18, 2005 at 01:19 AM

    Niceguy, that comment I made about being with someone who is experienced over a v1rgin wasnt meant as a personal attack and I hope you didnt take it that way, we all have to lose it some how, I have obviously been the v1rgin and done the v1rgin, but when you get to a certain age, to find a guy at around my age and who is a v1rgin would be A. near impossible, and B. a bit of a worry ... and believe you me, I have experienced guys who SAY they are the KING of what they do in the bed room (or anywhere else) and have turned out to be absolute duds, then there arte those who dont boast, who have had one or two relationships and know what they are doing ....

    From seeing your posts it seems you are a pretty sensitive guy and probably take note of what women are about, so you will probably be surprised at how well you may "perform" when the time comes .... if you were one of these young ones who wants to get their end wet ASAP you would have by now ... your morals have prevented that ... and theres nothing wrong with that ...
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  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 10:54 AM

    Theophrastus write:
    Kew, he's got a lot of energies bottled up... you want to be careful about what it is you rub in his face

    Well, now Theo... that takes away all the fun!
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 08:13 AM

    Kew, he's got a lot of energies bottled up... you want to be careful about what it is you rub in his face
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 08:05 AM

    mrniceguy2005... I totally understand where you are coming from.... stick by your morals. And I am in no way rubbing anything in your face.... please don't think that. You are young and it will happen. Just try to be patient.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 07:29 AM

    it's quite the paradox... almost a joke played by god or nature in a way... i want to keep my morals about me, so i'm not going to run to a "woman of the night" or drunken woman, but at the same time... i have all this energy that is pent up... i just feel like an outcast...
    i don't know... maybe if i met someone i wouldn't be so... worked up, even if we waited till marriage... i guess it comes back to the fact its not cool to be alone

    on that note... sweetests day is today...yay... yet another time for couples to rub it in my face that i'm still single

    oh and... if no one wants to be with a Virgyn... well you see what i mean, like an exclusive club that you can't even get into
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 07:13 AM

    I suppose it depends upon where you think sexuality comes from. To me it comes partly from genetics and partly from your up-bringing so in a way your sexuality is a ticking clock waiting to go off.

    So you can date someone chastely, for ages and then get married and find out that you have completely different and incompatible sexual needs (not less one of you could be gay). All the communication in the world isn't going to help you then.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 15, 2005 at 01:54 AM

    Some good points going around here , But can we honestly say that losing it (from a girls) point of view is a beautiful experience ...?? IT HURTS!! sure its with someone who we THINK loves us and we THINK we love them but in the end,losing it is something that is inevitable and 9 times out of 10 we never end up being with that person who we lost it too ... other then Kew and I am sure quite a few others, but its a rareity ...

    To me , losing your virginity is over rated, but like some of the unfortunate ones on here and others in the world, when its robbed of you, thats disgraceful...

    You can have other seksual experiences that are more powerful and emotional with different partners other then your first, I personally prefer men who are experienced as aposed to a v.i.r.g.i.n.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 14, 2005 at 11:36 AM

    mrniceguy2005.... you will know when the time is right for you. Just remember that you will only have one "first time" and you will remember that for the rest of your life. So what kind of memory do you want that to be? A memory of you nailing just anyone or something special and meaningful between two people who truly love each other.

    I was a vir-gin when I got married the first time and he was the only man I was with over 20 years. Since that time I have broaden my experiences so to say.... but you know what? If I could go back and change things, I would in a heartbeat. I have learned a hard lesson in the past few months and regrets are no fun to carry around. So you take your time and make it right for you. Whether or not you want to "test the merchandise" as Theo says, that will be your choice. But it is not necessary. Just keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner (WHEN you find one!) and make sure both of you are in agreement on when and where.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 14, 2005 at 10:29 AM

    Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choices, Niceguy!

    I think s(e)x (won't even let us use the @ anymore. lol) should be special with someone you care about... and that is worth the wait! Some will disagree, but I believe that there is a part of intimacy that transends the physical and can only be achieved if you're with someone you care about.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 14, 2005 at 08:48 AM

    the thing is, having never dated i've not really thought a lot about waiting for marriage or not... yeah its more of celebate by chance not choice

    like... i guess it would really be up to my partner... so no matter if its 7 days 7 months or 7 years, as long as both sides are confortable with it

    i guess the thing is now, i've waited so long, i want it to be with the right person. i live on a college campus... i don't doubt that i could go out any weekend and find some drunked co-ed who would sleep with me. but that is wrong, taking advantage of people, and sleeping with some total stranger, seems immoral

    i don't know it's easy to say this or that now... i guess once (if) i meet someone i'll see what happens
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 14, 2005 at 02:26 AM

    Niceguy - You're not really cewlibate by choice though are you? Well.. I guess you could have gone to a ho'oker...

    I think waiting for marriage is a disastrous idea. Sexual compatibility is a substantial part of any long term relationship and not "testing the merchandise" is like playing russian roulette. It's also a bad idea because it means you'll both be virgens. One virgen might be tolerable because one gets to teach the other (which can be fun) and if you're the guy you get the whole "de-flowering" experience but with 2 viegens you get a recipe for bad nookie.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 12, 2005 at 08:10 AM

    i don't think i have a mental illness... that i know of atleast...
    just never dated or anything... if i ever meet someone i'll see how things go... like... waiting to marriage is ok with me, but really whenboth parteners are ok is the best time i would think

    of course what do i know, im clueless on these things
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 12, 2005 at 02:09 AM

    I can only think of one reason for choosing to be celibate : Serious Mental Illness.

    I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even date a vi'rgin, let alone someone who planned on staying that way.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 05, 2005 at 07:22 PM

    This is my first time using this, so hopefully it works.

    I agree that celibacy means no s-e-x and there are many reasons people choose to abstain. I couldn't tell if you were wondering if there would be intimacy problems if a person hasn't been intimate previously. If that is what you were meaning, my opinion would be "not necessarily". Simply making a choice because of morals / religious beliefs wouldn't cause problems in this area. In fact, it could actually make things pretty exciting!! As for other reasons for choosing celibacy, I'm sure that there could be problems. Life brings many pains into many lives and our reactions to those pains can be devastating, with one of the fall outs being a fear of intimacy, etc. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.
    Take care,
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 01, 2005 at 07:22 AM

    To me, celibate means NO *ex. Could be due to *ape, childhood *exual assault, or re;igion; not to mention no *ex drive. Even if Mr. Right comes along, there will be problems w/ intimacy...IMO. What do u all think?


    This site won't let me post the word s-e-x. This is an adult dating site, so what's up w/ that?
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 22, 2005 at 03:59 AM

    Wow! suellis you took the words right out of my mouth!

    suellis write:
    I am currently celibate. Due to my religious beliefs I am planning on waiting till marriage. The thing I find interesting is that in this day and age that is hard to admit. Most men once they hear that run the other way. I can't seem to make them understand that doesn't mean I don't like to kiss, cuddle, hug, I just prefer not to have intimacy until marriage. I am only 35 and would love to be in a commited relationship, but I am starting to believe that is not going to ever happen unless I am willing to compromise my morals and values. I don't know what the solution is...Do I say okay I will have s*x just so I can be in a relationship or do I spend the rest of my life alone? If some man could answer how I am supposed to handle this I would love to know the answer.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 22, 2005 at 03:42 AM

    Rockchickbbw I hope you're right. But they seem hard to find for me. I agree they are out there. Of course that's what I want to believe.

    Rockchickbbw write:
    Do you mean celibate as in someone who doesnt sleep around and will only be intimate with yourselves once you get to know eachother...?? or someone who will be intimate after marriage ...?? Just a question ... I think its possible to find one, a lot of women think that men are after one thing only, but there are a lot of men who dont go after anything in a skirt, and who have standards and morals set for themselves ...so I dont think it will be that difficult to find.... good luck gals !!
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2005 at 10:15 PM

    Divadawg, I would love to move to the west coast, too! My elderly parents are living in a senior citizens place near there.

    I'm also in love with all that ground crystal sugar-white sand over there! That is simply gorgeous! Not to mention all the adorable little shells and clear water just off Sanibel Island. (sigh)

    Since I'm having such awful luck with men now, I should just get a nice female roommate to share expenses and the horror of our love lives! (giggle) Do you know any ladies who just want a female roomie and friend? A bbw would be perfect, but size isn't an issue with a roomie. She has to like pet pigs as I have two adorable ten-year-old ones. They only weigh 60lbs each, so they aren't big. It was an idea anyway! And it never hurts to ask! (grin)

    re: Plug Ins... You don't burn anything because it isn't the kind you find in those s*x shops, you buy the thing at Sears and its called a 'muscle relaxer'. (rolling on floor laughing) There is a soft plastic thingie at the end, and nothing else ever touches you. (giggle) Nothing to burn or otherwise damage you.

    Rock... Over here in the US, we run on a lot less current than Oz and the UK. Sooo, the best part is that it hardly makes any noise. It is supposed to be quiet, because if you use it like it says on the box you can do it in the living room surrounded by lots of other people! (giggling hysterically) Oh, and I like that other thing you mentioned, too, but if you use them both at the same time, you will be stuck on the ceiling from exhaustion and pleasure after the 50th one!! (big grin)

    Shuie-... Ok, I will contact you! At this point I'll take any help I can get! (giggle)

    jjiggl-... You don't have to worry about your kids with this one. It is nothing like a s*x toy, it is supposed to be used for muscle aches and looks like that, not the other type of toy. If a kid found it, just tell them it is for a sore muscle. (grinning)
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2005 at 08:38 PM

    Speaking of kids finding your toys......

    When I was married to my ex, we had a c*ck ring v*be that we had used and I forgot to put it back in the drawer one night after we were done. (Hey, I had other things on my mind at the time! lol) Anyway, the next morning, I was getting ready to go to work and my step sons always had a ritual of coming into our room to watch me put on my makeup in the mornings. My ex was still in bed and we were talking about the course of the day and what not and all of a sudden I hear our oldest say (he was 12 at the time), "What's this?" I turn around to see him holding this thing with this look of puzzlement on his face. I look at my ex and my ex looks at me and we both say at the same time: "I don't know." Inside I was DIEING!! OMG!! Finally, he just shook his head, layed it back where he found it and left the room. After he left I shut the door and we both started rolling!! Embarassment to the max but hey, what can you do? Neither one of us wanted to freak out about it but neither one of us wanted to tell him what it was either.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2005 at 10:51 AM

    LMAO @ Lisa & Kew ! !!

    Gives a whole new meaning to "Buzz Off"

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