Hi there--I've been lurking on these forums and this site. Because I haven't been comfortable initiating communication with the guys, I was wondering what you men thought when a woman sends you a wink or a message? Or initiates chat? I have felt like if I initiated first with the men that it would give an impression that I didn't want to give.

I think that even on a site that caters to bbw, bhm and FA that I am scared if I start things, they will think---Eeeewwww... why did SHE have to contact me??

Any thoughts??

Quoting Dee,

" ...and added a little line in my profile that I could respond to winks etc as I am a full member, and it was a little astounding how many more responses I have gotten since then. "


Really?!

mmmm ... ;)

If someone does not respond to a wink, it doesn't mean that they're not interested. Like me, they might have let their membership lapse. I wasn't meeting anyone here and just quit paying the dues. Finances got tight, too, with my home needing repairs (leaky roof, bad plumbing) so I have not renewed and am not likely to in the near future.

So don't take it personally if someone doesn't reply.

And keep in mind that two women that I know initiated contact with guys in 2002 and got married in 2003! (Yeah, to the guys that were shy and afraid to make the first move.) So, sure, it sometimes pays to make the first move.

Hey, Ladies. . .no guts, no glory! I think you have two choices in life . . .either go after what you want or wait for it to come to you. Personally, IMO, life's too short to sit around and wait. Go for it!!!

what do all the abbreviations mean? i know BBW means big beautiful woman but as for the rest...............i'm in the dark lol

I wink at every interesting profile.As far as rejection goes ,who cares? I don't know these guys from a hole in the ground so I don't take it personal.

I love winks! They leave you free to explore the possibilities!

Hey Penelope! =)

Well, I am getting along fine. I have decided that it's just not me to send the winks or emails to the guys initially, so I haven't been. LOL! And that's fine. I prefer for them to initiate contact, and I don't mind responding, but since I'm not a member, I can't send emails unless they send one to me first. SO--I am perking along.

Hope you are doing well, too!

Red Id like to hear how youve got on.....I too have just been browsing though profiles and thinking uh huh perhaps I should send a wink.... at the moment taking that step is a little like taking a dive from teh highest possible board at the swimming pool.. Im quite excited though to perhaps have found a site where its likely that I am going to be appreciated for just being me.

I just joined this site yesterday, can someone tell me how do you know when you get a wink, does something come up on the screen? ty

I feel that if you don't make the first contact who will? I used to be really shy about doing it. Alot of missed oppertunities from second guesses......you only live once if you see something you like go get it!....

Always figured if we have time to figure out "who initiates what"....in any activity......we're not participating in that activity enough...LOL
Time spent worrying of that.....can be spent in that activity.....LOL

Im new to this & looking for friends, so please feel free to get in touch....

Alright then... I will see who strikes my fancy. =)

Any of y'all want me to send you a wink?? LOL! (I'm so funny, I know.) That way I won't really be the one initiating.... *wink* =D

Hi there!
I initiate emails all the time. We are in the year 2004 dear lady, and women are assertive these days! Be bold and say hello to a few fine folks here!

well, I am an old-fashioned type of guy, but really feel good if a lady initiates the conversation, mainly because ,for me at least, it is so hard to tell when they are receptive to being spoken to.

Don't be shy!! I get so excited when I get conacted by someone. I find it hard to believe some guy not liking to be contacted. I wish you were closer :)

I have initiated contact with men on several occasions. If the guy doesn't answer back, I just figure they're either not interested in me or they're otherwise occupied with another woman.

I don't believe guys think any less of a woman for making the first contact. Some guys might consider it a huge turn on...you just never know. I say go for it!!! Take that chance, you might just get the best reward of your life...a new love or a new friend.

Hey Redd1167, how are you? I've had both experiences on this website - I've dated men that I contacted first, and I've dated men that contacted me first. I think the fear you mentioned is understandable, but remember that any man who reacts with an "Eww" to hearing from you is not a man you'd want to date ANYWAY. You deserve the best. Expect no less! And good luck!

I think that you would get a mix of good and bad responses no matter who initiates it. So if someone gets your interests say hi and hope for the best. I myself like knowing a person is interested in me. It removes a lot of tension from 1st contacts to know the person is interested in learning about me and it helps me to open up.