I don't agree most men would jump into bed very quickly with a young person with a perfect body, but to want to sleep with someone not so young or perfect they would have to have a lot of feelings for them first.

Sometimes its the fact that you are putting yourself down that will drive people away.

My advice is to try to be confident and try to match your personality with your size.

You are thinking that the glass is always half empty. Think of it as being half full in which case you slept with him because you wanted to, he's the loser not you.

Sharpy

Actually I think I broke her :-)

Well eather that or she had her post post jacked by LG LoL.. I've had poasts just dissapear one day with out a trace..

guess she still did not know who to trust

what the hell? what happened to the orig post?

upon reading the first paragraph....one sentence comes to mind...

nowadays..you can ONLY trust yourself hun...

i will go back and read all of your post as soon as a get a chance...and i will add more if i think i need to elaborate what i already said.

but trust yourself....and you will be alright.

Ok I'm going to add my 2cents worth here..Only because I have been there and done that.. Let me show you what your main prob is here "I did kinda open up to someone a couple of days ago, who I have known for a few weeks, and we ended up sleeping together, and because of the way I look, that is something that i don't do easily" Ok now not trying to be a know it all here at all but!! MOST not all but most males are like blood hounds.. When it comes to finding women and epically bbws.. Who have low self esteem and are willing to.. "Give it up easy" And then WAM your yesterdays news all upset about it.. And believe me hes not even giving it a second thought.. So don't be shocked and amazed he never called u back.. And don't hold your breath waiting cuz it wont happen.. Unfortunately you been used move on and learn from it.. You have prob been used more then a few times by people like that.. Continuing the circle of crap I like to call it.. Now being in that circle makes you a.. Victim of guys like that and is prob why you don't trust people.. And leaves you with compleate crap for self esteem.. My advice and I have learned this the hard way.. BE ALONE IF YOU HAVE TO Until you can find some one who isn't a parasite.. That's just going to use and lose you.. Also WORK ON YOUR SELF ESTEEM.. Start liking your self WITH or WITH OUT a guy.. It can happen eventually..Not trusting every one isn't always bad a bad thing..I know it can be hard.. But take time to learn to love your self 1st..If you can do that you will start attracting a better class of people into your life..Best wishes and best of luck to you..

Well, it's late and I'm grumpy BUT...

To be blunt, despite being someone that's allegedly cynical and distrustful of men and doomed to die alone, you seem to be getting more action than me.

If you were really so mistrusting of men that dying alone was a real possibility, you wouldn't be meeting up with guys AT ALL, let alone sleeping with them.

Similarly, you say that you distance yourself from people before they hurt you and yet you say that you opened up to some guy and then complain that he doesn't want to see you.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to not fall for your own spin. It's easy to find a narrative and to then assume that you fit this narrative, because it's a familiar story and it feels emotionally safe.

Basically, it sounds to me like you're projecting a narrative onto yourself that really has very little to do with who you really are. As a result, you're now completely confused because you've convinced yourself that you're BOTH pushing people away when you should be opening up and being pushed away when you do.

Obviously, if you put it that way you're in trouble.

Thing is though, as Sartre said, being preceeds essence. You define yourself through what you do not by what you think you are or by virtue of some weird narrative.

You are, a woman who has clearly been screwed over in the past. You are a woman who is still making decisions that you're not happy with.

Well.. welcome to the club! EVERYONE is like you. You're not going to die alone, there's nothing wrong with being careful and frankly, there's only so many orgasms a person gets in their lifetime so you might as well enjoy them when they come your way. You'll meet someone who fits you... it just takes time. I'm sure someone will come along and open up to you and stay open and that'll be you off the market.

Imagining that you're something you're obviously not will only make you miserable. Go forth, be yourself, be happy, be lucky. You'll get there eventually, I guarantee you that you won't die alone. If you do, I'll give you a ten pound gift token :-)