I have been in many abusive relationships. I was brutally raped by my ex-boyfriend's friend. I left him with only the clothes on my back. I stopped looking for love, I really did.
One day at work as a cashier this was years ago, one of my coworkers asked me to coffee. I thought why does this nice looking man, gorgeous want with me. So I thought a coffee cant hurt, then he asked me out for supper so I went. We dated for about one year and then I asked him to move in with me. So he did.
I am now living my life with a great man. The only bad thing is that he now has a medical condition that he cant make love anymore, but he is still a great man. I have ways of pleasuring myself. I too was so lonely for a long time, it took me 12 years to find someone who I love this way. I just want to say be patient and dont feel that you are not worhty of love, or that you feel you are ugly. Dont feel like this. You are all worthy of being in love and it will come to you. Just dont beat yourself up. I know, I have been there, I used to cry myself to sleep all the time, and was on depression pills for too long.
People often say to me, "If you stop looking, love will find you".
Honestly, don't believe the hype. I'm willing to bet that advice came from a woman. I say that because it's the same for me and all my female friends. They all tell me the same thing. However, they fail to realize that it's up to the guy to make the first move. Many women nowadays believe they have choice, but they really can only choose from those guys who have the courage to approach them. That being said, it is possible to ATTRACT love into your life. By builing a life that truly makes you happy. I know it sounds abstract and maybe even impossible at times, but it's only when you're out having fun, enjoying yourself, laughing and having a great time that people will genuinely WANT to be a part of your life. At that point, you still have to make the first move, but it's much easier when you have signals flying your way (even though as guys, we hardly notice them)
People often say to me, "If you stop looking, love will find you". I'm sorry, but I find that just one of those sayings that people say to make you feel better. It doesn't really mean anything though because there is no logical reason why you would have a better chance finding someone if you're not looking. If you look, surely you have an even better chance? Just because you bump into someone when you aren't looking, that doesn't mean that you had less chance of that happening when you WERE looking. It's just not logical. All these sayings people come out with are all very well and they sound fine, but they really don't make much sense. Also, with the way my own life is, I HAVE to actively search or I'll never come across anyone. I never find anyone even when I search, but that's not the point! :)
Abusive relationships are tough. I've seen too many people go through it and I was fortunate enough to of been in one....not fun!
Is it possible to not look for love. I mean when you're single it seems to pop in your head all the time. Never on purpose just happens. But I think everything is going to happen like in the movies... our eyes will meet across the room. Angels will sing and everything will stop- and all the other crap that doesn't happen. I just think it's impossible not to look for love.
Out of sight, out of mind and men are everywhere, no way to keep them completely out of mind. At least it's a nice view. :)