A new way of thinking Just Chat Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Aug 18, 2005 at 05:38 PM

    I need some help. I'm only 3 days into to this concept that big is beautiful, and that there are normal, attractive guys who really believe this. So for 22 years, I have been told by society that I am an out cast. I've never had a boyfriend, but I have had tons of boys who are friends. I thought that I would never be good enough unless I lost 100bs. I have stressed myself out so much over this that instead of losing weight, I gained. I became close to depressed many times. Not about being over weight, but about the pressure of having to lose it. Well, the thing is.. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I only wanted to change so that I was accepted. I thought I would be alone forever if I didn't. I thought this up until 3 days ago.

    Strange how things work... Here's my story.

    So my mom had this guy come over to service our player piano. Some how they got to talking about how we was attracted to large women over 400lbs. Now, to me at first.. this was weird. I had never heard of such a thing! So that night, I looked on line and found this web site. So here I am.. trying to reprogram myself. And my question is.. how do I go about doing it? This is so strange to me... but it's awesome! To know that there are great men out there who love the way I look is so stress relieving. I like the way I look. I am perfectly content. The few guys I have been involved with were jerks. They only saw me as a target to take advantage of. I've gone 22 years feeling ugly to everyone around me. I don't know anything different. I always assumed any guy who gave me attention was either making fun of me, or were freaks! How do I put down my guard? Any tips would be very helpful. Thanks for reading this!!"
    Follow - email me when people comment
  • 9Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 27, 2005 at 11:43 AM

    Hi Kim,

    You are a very beautiful young woman! The light that is shining through you will attract attention. I know how it is in our area to find a special person, but someone right in my own backyard asked me out at work and I am having the time of my life! This site is great for making friends and some have found love, but don't forget that maybe someone you look right through everyday may think of you in that "special" way. Have fun little one!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 27, 2005 at 11:28 AM

    Hi Kim, I know how you feel hun, I am 41 and spent the last 20 years dieting. I was a slim teenager but put on weight after I had my daughter and spent 20 years being miserable and trying to fit in. I then met a wonderful, sensitive man who loved me for who I was and taught me to love myself. Sadly a year ago god wanted him back and he was taken away from me at the age of 36 and I now find myself in this dating game again. However, what he taught me has not left me and I now embrace who I am and have found a place where I fit in and am accepted. There are an awful lot of men out there who not only do not judge women for their appearance but do truly love what nature gave us and Im sure you will find someone to treasure who you are and give you the love you deserve.

    Good luck in your search.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 21, 2005 at 07:57 PM

    Thank you so much for all of your positive feed-back. You've helped me out a lot!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 20, 2005 at 10:54 PM

    Kimmi .... you are beutiful on the outside and in, so it seems and you have a STACK of personality... so u are off to a good start!!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2005 at 03:53 PM

    Now, If I can see to read this....I am one of the "older" girls here....I am fifty years old....and I......

    This place is wonderful....I grew up the largest in a family of small....

    I have lived so many years in seclusion and introversion....

    Honey, I agree you are a knock out....stand tall and be so very proud of your beauty....

    I am amazed....at this place....the tears of relief and learning acceptance...is possible....is mindblowing....now I must go find tissue....hugs to everyone here...and Honey...as we say in Texas, screw those who don't like the way you dance....just make sure you dance.....
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2005 at 02:20 PM

    Kim, I'm glad you came to that realization now instead of down the road. There's a few of the ladies here my age that have only recently had the epiphany you've had. If some guy thinks you're too large, that's his problem. He's probably too shallow anyway. You're a knock out, and quite bright. Some lucky guy's going to realize that and the two of you will be very happy together.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2005 at 05:54 AM

    Kimmeister write:
    ... I thought that I would never be good enough unless I lost 100bs...


    Good enough for what?...

    who has told you that you need to be 120 lbs to be good?... I think that you are very beautiful, and your pics kick buttt.

    Look at yourself in the mirrow honey, you are sexy, beautiful and have brains, don't live to please a narrow minded society, live to please your life, and make a stand to yourself in regards to your beauty and s#x appeal... not to worry.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2005 at 05:39 AM

    Hey Kim,
    first off, you are a very pretty young woman, don't let others tell you different. Become confident in your self and it will shine through, there are lots of great women and men on here that wil help you with advice, listen to them.
    Most of all learn to love and be happy with yourself, then I'm sure you will rock some guy's world, be good , stay lucky.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 18, 2005 at 06:15 PM

    Kim, I totally understand where you are coming from. My 21 yr old daughter has the same trouble believing that someone will love her because of her size. I have told her and I will tell you.... there are LOTS of men out there who absolutely adore larger women. They are not interested in the shallowness of most skinny women who are more interested in their own looks than they are in the people around them. A person cannot help the type of person they find attractive. For me.... it's a taller man with long dark or salt&pepper hair (or either bald!) with a beard, mustache, goatee, etc.

    So just relax... be yourself and be confident in who you are and he will find you! I actually believe there are more men out there who prefer larger women than not. I have been with men who said they didn't care about my size but then turned out to totally humiliate me.... but then again I have had the joy of having a man truly find me s-e-x-y.

    Just remember this.... s-e-x-y is an attitude! So let it show!
Follow - email me when people comment