How do you pick men who want a relationship and not just sex DATING

  • View author's info Author posted on Jan 02, 2007 18:29

    It seems most of the men I have gone out with are ONLY interested in sex and not in getting to know me at all. I don't put the signals out there but it seems that is ALL I get. A man doesn't want to know ANYTHING about me and just puts on this "hey baby, why don't we go back to my place" - it makes me want to give up on dating completely. Now, I am definately NOT a prude. I'd just like to find a nice man that really wants to know who I am, will actually ask me questions about my life. Is that so impossible??? Anyway, I'd really like to know if anyone who does meet someone on-line if it's just the luck of the draw or if there is a trick to picking the right guy. Do other women have this problem or do other women think it's a problem. Maybe I'm living in a dream world that there are some men out there that really want to get to know women...
  • 31Comments

  • View author's info posted on Oct 20, 2011 10:11

    Same here. I been on a few dates and they only want sex =(
  • View author's info posted on Oct 18, 2011 13:55

    Yep i am starting to lose faith that their isn't any genuine guys out there any more.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 15, 2011 20:35

    Thank you, Finally a real man who knows how to treat a lady no matter what.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 03, 2011 22:31

    I agree bcuz after the sex then what now yes you want good sex but I want to be able to talk, enjoy your company and do somethings together.

    Available only
    to logged in members

  • View author's info posted on Jul 04, 2008 02:48

    Well, to go against all the other comments from guys here, I personally do love sex. Can't get enough of it. However, I don't love diseases, and I do love stability. That being said, I'd prefer getting to know somebody and making sure I like waking up next to them in the morning. Once we're good, then yes... sex, sex, sex!

    Yea it sounds bad, but w/e

    Available only
    to logged in members

  • View author's info posted on Jun 06, 2008 13:07

    Quoting bbanditx79:

    The only clear way is to see how a man treats you. If he's only known you for a short while and is talking and eluding to sex already then you know something is up. A guy who truly wants to get to know you won't run if you tell him it's too early to be talking about that, heck he probably won't even bring it up in fear of running you off.

    As a guy who is looking for something with some substance I don't ever bring up the topic with a female I'm interested in since it may give off the wrong impression. Heck I've had women bring it up to me because they know I'm not going there LOL.

    I completely agree with this. This is also the same criteria that I look for when speaking with a potential interest, whether online or in person. If you are willing to really listen, most people give themselves away when allowed to speak freely. :)
  • View author's info posted on Feb 17, 2008 22:50

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with "just sex again," luvbbw05.... if that's what a person is looking for. If that's what you are seeking, go for it. You'll find it. But my guess is that most of the people on this site could find that without getting on the internet. There are plenty of venues for finding a sex partner. I think (hopefully) the majority of men and women on this site are hoping to meet someone special. The goals may be different, but we are all entitled to finding exactly what we are looking for without detours we don't want to take. Live and let live.
  • View author's info posted on Jan 29, 2008 06:04

    Whats wrong with just sex again I don't get it....a good hard sexy time is good for the body and mind...yes "sexy time"
  • View author's info posted on Dec 26, 2007 21:45

    Common denominators other than a quick orgasmic junkie fix. I myself am looking for a girl who's 'artsy', imaginative, innovative, can leed her own way if needed or wanted. I want a friend to collaborate with my music. I want a prankster, someone who can point out ,"hey you don't know jack about that you chump!". Not just a fornication buddy.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 17, 2007 21:08

    As Christain man you can find us in church. We are not out there to sex with a woman right of......speaking for myself I like to get know her inside-out first and then just let thinks fall in place it can take awhile or longer I Love to respect my lady and respect her wish...........LOVE YOU ALL BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
  • View author's info posted on Oct 15, 2007 21:41

    I feel yall pain too. I met someone on here who had a nice profile, talked about going out to movies, theater and such, but every time we talked he wanted to go to his house to "hang out" and never wanted to go anywhere. He also suggested we just sit at home and I cook for him! What ever. I am close to giving up too.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 18, 2007 18:31

    Hey girl,
    Hi how are you. I guess for me anyways, is that I always look at what name they post and what their content is. I saw one today that was totally insulting. I figure that if they are true and are really a nice guy then they have taken the time and effort to put up a good profile. Words are powerful... have a great night...and good luck..
  • View author's info posted on Sep 12, 2007 12:57

    You are totally correct!! That is about all I have found too, men who only want sex. You would think a man in his 60's would want to have a bit of a companion and not so much sex. They do not want to know anything about me. I met a guy on here, we went to coffee. We talked for two and a half hours and he never ask me one question about me. Just talked about himself and when we could "get together". No more emails for him!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 05, 2007 11:00

    i have to agree with you divinemsjunebug
    ,i think the computer has a lot to answer for , within 5 minutes they are asking your bust size and what you like in bed , yet the profile is asking for honesty and no mind games . i am so tired of it all and think i will be spending the rest of my life alone. this will be ashame as i have a lot to give the right person ,but how this will come about the way things are ., i do try to drag the conversation around to everyday life but they bring it back to sex all the time and thats not what life is about so here is a very unhappy person fed up with men .
  • View author's info posted on Aug 18, 2007 22:24

    KarenR2000 I'm sorry to hear you getting played like that. This is one of the reasons that it makes it so hard for a nice guy to meet a good woman. The woman let a couple of bad apples into there life and when they get hurt these hugh walls go up. I know I'm a good man but to be honest I'm not the type of man that is tough enough to brake down those walls. Maybe I'm to soft and maybe thats why I'm still alone myself. I tried once to break down those wall and ended up married once all the walls where gone she was free and them desided to start cheating.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 16, 2007 18:57

    i love to take time and get to know a woman first..there's more to a relationship then sex
  • View author's info posted on Jul 22, 2007 18:22

    Wow it is sooo good to know I'm not the only one! I've been tempted to give up dating and just start charging by the hour ! Lol
    I have NO idea how to pick a guy who wants to actually have a relationship, obviously. I think that for ever 1,000 guys there is 1 who desires a relationship where talking is involved. I'm still working through the 999 others ... Lol :) :) :)
  • View author's info posted on Jul 14, 2007 16:53

    There is a common belief amoung women that when a guy dosent call after having sex that they were "just used" by a preditory lethorio. Well, I don't think this is correct. I believe men are looking for the same thing you are, a happy stable relationship. Today there are plent of "casual encounter" sites and even on this site there are a number of women looking for Mr. Right Now so that no one needs to lie and cheet to get laid. Girls, what is happening is you are being rejected not used. It may not have anything to do with sex but he has decided for what ever reason that seeing you again is a dead end street. AND THAT IS A GOOD THING!!! Dating is a numbers game and unfortunatly we all are dissapointed when we go out on a date and it doesn't go anywhere, when we should be glad. For any of us, only one person in ten is even a possable mate, so to find a winner we must go through nine rejects. The faster we can determine the rejects the sooner we will get to the winners. Every time you meet someone new you should have your list of deal killers in mind and as quickly as possable go down that list. You should NOT postpone the hard questions,the dangerous issues, because then you not only waste time, but the longer you see someone the more you have invested in that relationship. This greater investment makes it more difficult when you finally discover the deal killer.

    Sex is the number two reason relationsips fail (money being number one). The only way to know if you two are compatable in bed is to get into bed together. How is it to your advantage to put this off? Ladies be honest, of those men you had sex with and who never called again how many were the perfect lover that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Some of them (perhaps most of them)were no doubt not "keepers" , so why would you want them to call? Isn't it a good thing you got them out of your system so you were free to find another perhaps better fish
  • View author's info posted on Jul 10, 2007 23:36

    Hey Junebug!

    You are sooo not the only woman with that problem. It is a rare find when a guy REALLY wants a relationship and is willing to invest appropriate dedication/respect to it. I'm a year out of a long term relationship and I am ASTOUNDED at the number of DOGS I've met. Some are obvious Mr. Wrongs and then others play all charming and say all the right things only to snag what they want then run. I was just out with a guy that I had so much in common with, we seemed to have such a mental connection, he pushed for sex in a charming way, I didn't give it to him (thank goodness) and I have never heard back from him. I am shocked at how well he played me. The BOTTOM LINE proceed with caution, keep your heart safe, do not let immediate attraction and seemingly common goals lure you into a fake sense of comfort...stand your charming and DON'T put out, let them know up front that you are not here for that and maybe...with time, a real gentleman worthy of your attention and time will come along. Hang in there sister!
Follow - Email me when people comment