Why is it that women ask for nice guys but then leaves them. Lonely Hearts Post Ur Thoughts Here... Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Mar 20, 2007 at 09:44 AM

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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 04, 2009 at 01:05 PM

    About 2 years ago I responded to this, but on further reflection I have a little extra to add.

    I've been to a couple BBW meetings where there's a great, nice guy--but he *is* a little 'too nice' in that he lets himself be surrounded by the ladies so much that he ignores his date.

    I know--some of us ladies *are* rather assertive. But if a guy wants to make his date feel like she matters, then he just has to be polite & firm to the more aggressive BBWs. If I have to fight for my guy's attention, or watch my guy like a hawk, then he's not MY guy, no matter how 'nice' he is.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 09, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    I watched a documentary about what women look for in men in an primal sort of way. It made sense. Women (subconsciously) are looking for virility, protection for herself and future cubs. In addition she is looking for security.

    I don't know about anyone else, but self confidence (not arrogance or conceit) is the biggest turn on for me. It doesn't matter if he is bald, fat, short or tall. If he walks with his head held high, and confident.. its a real turn on.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2007 at 07:59 PM

    I can't speak for everyone, but I can relate to Annie. I'm always the best friend...never the significant other. I don't get it. Like you, I'm very nice and sweet and somehow I always get overlooked. People don't take time to get to know the whole package anymore.

    I'd re-look at who you're attracted to to and go from there. Nice sweet men are hard to find and personally I find it very attractive.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 14, 2007 at 08:09 AM

    Perhaps you should try looking for a different kind of girl...

    I guess it's kind of a catch 22 thing... I'm a nice girl, but only ever end up being a best friend (mans best friend lol)... nice guys just don't seem to be interested... yet one of my girlfriends is nasty and mean to them and they are practically falling all over themselves for her attention... I don't understand why or how they can let her treat them that way...
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 28, 2007 at 10:28 PM

    Like Ldytop & Sara....I think this says more about the kind of women you've been dating than anything else.

    Do they have things in common (other than they couldn't appreciate what they had & dumped you)? Maybe you should try someone who's a little different from them next time.

    Believe me--Nice guys ARE in demand, & are greatly appreciated! Thank you for being a nice guy, we need more.
  • View author's info Posted on May 20, 2007 at 09:44 PM

    Whatever you do, dont change because some women tell you that you are too nice. STAY THAT WAY... Trust me, there are women who would love to be with men who are sweet, and nice. I am one of them. Too bad you are so young..teehee.
    Maybe you are picking the wrong women to go out with. Hang in there, you will find that one woman who will respect you for who you are........

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  • View author's info Posted on May 04, 2007 at 05:24 PM

    Canito & vegas bbw lover - you guys are both really cute.

    i have to agree with lydtop - what comes to mind for me are all the guys who say they want a "nice" girl....and they end up going for witches.

    Are you sure it's not the GIRLS you are attracted to / have been around?

    There are a LOT of girls who like and just want to meet a NICE GUY.
    And someone they can connect with / relate to....
    I dont know why you'd want to get into a relationship with someone you cant be friends with - so making friends with girls is OK ...its good.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2007 at 03:52 PM

    I have the same problem. Girls won't give me the time of day because I'm nice. I'm the guy they want to be friends with, and nothing more, the shoulder to cry on when their bad boy does something stupid.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 22, 2007 at 06:04 PM

    The truth is:

    1- You live in NY. I'm from there and it's not a place where nice guys finish first.

    2- You are 28. I assume the women are under 35. They are still looking for some danger because at that age it makes for excitement. If you don't provide that (drama!) you are seen as boring.

    3- There are "nice girls" out there who will appreciate you but they are hard to find.

    4- I think you're cute. Keep looking. You will click. And by the way, you will not meet her at the club.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 08:15 PM

    I've been on several dates. And all with the same outcome. That I'm too nice for them. What kind of excuse is that. I tell them before we get involve that I'm a really nice and sweet, and a respectable guy. I'm a nice guy by nature and was always told that womens falls for nice guys. But I'm the only one falling. Flat on my face. So why ask for the nice guys if you know deep in your heart that it's not what you really want. I guess this nice guy really finished last.

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  • View author's info Posted on Mar 25, 2007 at 09:53 AM

    Canito - sorry to hear of your troubles. I have to say that in the past, I have been attracted to the "bad boy" type, or men who hide a dark side. But I've also learned from that mistake - they all end up being exactly what I DON'T want in the end. There is someone out there for you - don't stop trying. Actually, maybe you should stop trying so hard for a while, and let things glide for a bit...that's when the woman of your dreams may just fall right into your lap!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 23, 2007 at 09:21 AM

    Please don't get discouraged. I know it stinks that you try to be a good person and then you get hurt. I'm going through it myself right now. I'm starting to believe I'm too nice. To much of a target to get hurt. Just last week is an example of that. I guess so many of us, people in general, get hurt so much that we don't know how to act when someone is nice. But I agree with some of the other comments. It really has to do with a connection. It's their loss really that they didn't want you. So don't change. You are right for someone and I too will pray you find her or she finds you. :-)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 12:15 PM

    It's not that women don't want a nice guy, it's all about genetics. In the animal kingdom who gets all the action? The alpha male that's who, it's really about perpetuating the species, females are drawn to the stongest, showiest males, while the weak and quiet males get run off and left alone. Now I know there are women out there who are going to argue with me, but ladies ask yourself, who are you attracted to, the nice guy or the bad boy?
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 10:40 AM

    Hi there cantino sorry to hear your having probs. Yea I personally don't get it ether. I've been thu the same thing and I know others who have as well. Maybe its that allot of people crave drama any more these days who knows. But don't let it stop you from being who you are. I don't believe nice guys or girls always finish last best of luck 2 you :)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 20, 2007 at 09:44 AM

    Well dear that works for women too. You find a woman who is mean and hateful to men and they seem to be dropping at her feet. You get a woman who is really nice, caring , loving and supportive and they seem to be looked over.
    But in all fairness I really believe it has to do with when you meet someone if there is a spark there are not and sometimes there will be on your part and not the others and then it will be on their part but not yours. We are all searching for that one were there are sparks flying all over the place by both parties. I hope and pray you find someone that just blows you away. Come on ladies in NY give this nice guy a chance . Now if we can just find me a guy in Texas !
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