Incapable of love? love Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Dec 07, 2005 at 07:25 AM

    I'm really starting to feel like I'm incapable of love..of loving someone and being loved in return.

    My first instinct is to curb any feelings I may have or that may develop because I just cannot believe that someone could possibly like me as I am. Maybe it's just the case of self-preservation but I seem to have this knack of doing things to push people away before they get too close.

    I know I should learn to love myself before I can open up to anything else. There are times when I think I'm okay with who I am but more often than not, I end up doubting myself.
    I've always told myself not to be emotionally dependent on anyone. At the same time, I do want someone whom I can lean on..instead of always being the one people rely on.

    Confused, cynical, jaded and neurotic. And maybe more than just a little scared of being hurt...but then again, who isn't?
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  • View author's info Posted on Dec 26, 2005 at 03:37 PM

    When you choose to give your heart to someone, you are opening yourself up to the risk of getting hurt. It just goes with the territory. However, if you don't ever take the risk, you will never get the reward! I can speak from experience, as others have said, time does heal the wound. However, if you look at every heartache as an opportunity to learn something from it, then it will make you a better person in the long run. When we get hurt, we have two choices..... give up and never love again.... or pick ourselves up, learn from it and move ahead. Kew
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 23, 2005 at 10:10 AM

    zbig14u write:
    Being hurt SU(KS! But being in Mutual love is God's gift. No matter how you hurt, time heals all. Don't be afraid to recieve your blessing.

    yes time is a great healer but sometimes it can take a long time ,,, it took me 10 yrs to get over the only broken heart i have ever had and i never give my whole heart anymore as i am teriffied of getting it broken again but there is a true saying

    it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 13, 2005 at 03:21 PM

    I'm totally right with you... still doing it to myself and delting any affection or complements that i do get... I have these walls that i have ]up around my heart and dont let anyone close unless they are family or friends that Ive had for like forever.

    I would say that i love myself the way i am. i would consider myself confidant and all the things males are looking for but i hate making the first move because of the fear of being rejected...

    Sorry i couldn't help but less you know your not on your own if you get any tips share. I enjoy reading these threads because i get alot out of it.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 11, 2005 at 04:58 AM

    WOW jjiggl -- that is an awesome two cents worth, you should get some change back.

    I think the hardest thing sometimes is to be vulnerable to someone. It's very scary and a hard thing to do -- or at least for me, but when you take that gamble with the right person it can help validate the beauty and love we all have in ourselves.

    I think it is funny sometimes to think how men can make us feel so wonderful and show us beauty that we never saw in ourselves. But the flip side in finding that right person is that there can be some heart wrenching players out there who can tear you down that you have to weed through. That's why I try to stick with my "friends first" policy, which seems to work for me with weeding out the losers, well most of the time.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 09, 2005 at 03:59 PM

    I have been there. Done that, etc., etc. They say that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you, but how does one do that? What if Mr. Right enters your life while you are working on learning to love yourself? Do you just push him away anyway because you haven't learned to love yourself? Do you ask him to just wait a bit while you "learn to love yourself"? How crazy is that? Is it possible that we learn to love ourselves while we grow to love someone else? My answer would be "yes". But the only way that it can happen is if we are vulnerable. If we accept the fact that someone thinks we are lovable. Maybe we just have to "fake it until we make it". Of course, this cannot be done with just ANY partner. The one that we are "learning" on must be open to love. Someone who wants to be loved AND who wants to love.

    Just my two cents.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 07, 2005 at 11:16 PM

    Being hurt SU(KS! But being in Mutual love is God's gift. No matter how you hurt, time heals all. Don't be afraid to recieve your blessing.
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