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hollaatyagurl
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Posted on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 06:16

Do you guys believe that someone can truly accept you for who you are? Do you think they can love the bad, good, and indifferent? Do you think someone can love you inspite of who you are and not feel the need to change you? Why does it seem like their is no unconditional love in the word? I am not at my destination yet but I am well on my way there. Share your thoughts. It would be greatly appreciated.


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hollaatyagurl
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Posted on Fri, Jun 18, 2010 19:30

Quoting ozredhead62

I dont know about the unconditional love thing. Maybe for one's children , yes, but it wears thin with other people. Personally I try to find someone that is has 70% of the qualties I like and 30% of thing I can tolerate. If I need to change something from the onset then they are not for me. Is this too harsh? Maybe, but I dont think we can change someone else and if we feel the need to then maybe we are more attracted to the person they "could be" rather than who they are?


Thanks Ozredhead, I could not agree more. What you stated is not harsh. You seem to know what you like and you know your worth. I have felt like sometimes people love me for who I could be but do not accept how I am. People want to mold someone into what they want them to be. Somethings you can not change about someone either you live with it or leave. Thanks. I was thinking just about the same thing.


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hollaatyagurl
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Posted on Fri, Jun 18, 2010 19:28

Quoting tteddyybear

Holla, I believe it's possible to love unconditionally. As OZred said, "you love your children unconditionally" from birth, but when it comes to another human being, it's gonna take time to get to know them before that happens. I have friends I love unconditionally, but it took time for us to get to that point. I believe it's about indivuals getting to know one another. The reason there seems to be no unconditional love is because no one takes the time to get there. We are all in a rush to be "In Love". We are so in love with the idea of being in love, that we skip the getting to know you step. We rush headlong into things without thinking and then call it love. And therefore it's doomed. I've seen people meet on Tuesday, and are in a relationship by Saturday. That's wayyy too soon. If you ask those people what they know about each other they cant tell you anything. Regarding change... Someone once said that "men get with a woman thinking she will never change, and women get with a man thinking he will". I believe that most people fear change. So, what you see is what you get. And it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with it. I don't want to date someoen that i have to change. I want someone who fits me like a hand in glove. I'm at a point in my life where I want to take time. I'm a pretty open person, so it's easy to get to know me. I don't hold back. There aren't many out here like me. Most people hold back alot due to past relationships and possible embarrassment. But, I don't hold back because I feel like the sooner you get to know me, the sooner you can decide if I'm someone you want know on a more personal level or just as friends.


Thanks tteddybear! I know people want to rush into things so fast. I like to let things progress naturally. It takes time and effort to build something solid with someone whether it is a friendship or growing into something more. I have heard that sating before. However, some men just like women go into relationships with unrealistic expectations of the other party. I do not want someone I have to changes as well. The problem is striking the right tempo with someone. I am guarded in some ways with my love and affection. I am open to people but it would just take a while to build something. I am interested in getting to know you as well.


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hollaatyagurl
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Posted on Fri, Jun 18, 2010 19:17

Quoting ozredhead62

I dont know about the unconditional love thing. Maybe for one's children , yes, but it wears thin with other people. Personally I try to find someone that is has 70% of the qualties I like and 30% of thing I can tolerate. If I need to change something from the onset then they are not for me. Is this too harsh? Maybe, but I dont think we can change someone else and if we feel the need to then maybe we are more attracted to the person they "could be" rather than who they are?


Thanks Ozredhead, I could not agree more. What you stated is not harsh. You seem to know what you like and you know your worth. I have felt like sometimes people love me for who I could be but do not accept how I am. People want to mold someone into what they want them to be. Somethings you can not change about someone either you live with it or leave. Thanks. I was thinking just about the same thing.


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hollaatyagurl
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Posted on Fri, Jun 18, 2010 19:11

Quoting aldunc

I'm not sure on someone always trying to change someone else. I do believe that you can be loved just as you are, quirks and all. I believe part of the issue is not changing, but growing. Everyone grows through time. Their ideas, attitudes, and experiances change. It is inevitable. It may just be not that someone is trying to change you, but to see that you grow in the same direction. It could be just trying to make the relationship work. Granted though, this is coming from someone who has never been in love, so not really a voice of experiance.


Thanks Aldunc. I agree that someone should not try to change you. They should love your quirks and all. Love the whole package. Just do not love me for who I could be but for who I am at this very moment. It just seems like that does not exisit anymore.


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tteddyybear
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Posted on Fri, May 21, 2010 15:43

Holla, I believe it's possible to love unconditionally. As OZred said, "you love your children unconditionally" from birth, but when it comes to another human being, it's gonna take time to get to know them before that happens. I have friends I love unconditionally, but it took time for us to get to that point. I believe it's about indivuals getting to know one another. The reason there seems to be no unconditional love is because no one takes the time to get there. We are all in a rush to be "In Love". We are so in love with the idea of being in love, that we skip the getting to know you step. We rush headlong into things without thinking and then call it love. And therefore it's doomed. I've seen people meet on Tuesday, and are in a relationship by Saturday. That's wayyy too soon. If you ask those people what they know about each other they cant tell you anything. Regarding change... Someone once said that "men get with a woman thinking she will never change, and women get with a man thinking he will". I believe that most people fear change. So, what you see is what you get. And it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with it. I don't want to date someoen that i have to change. I want someone who fits me like a hand in glove. I'm at a point in my life where I want to take time. I'm a pretty open person, so it's easy to get to know me. I don't hold back. There aren't many out here like me. Most people hold back alot due to past relationships and possible embarrassment. But, I don't hold back because I feel like the sooner you get to know me, the sooner you can decide if I'm someone you want know on a more personal level or just as friends.

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I'm everywhere and nowhere...The name is TTEDDYYBEAR...Ask around

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ozredhead62
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Posted on Thu, May 06, 2010 07:59

I dont know about the unconditional love thing. Maybe for one's children , yes, but it wears thin with other people. Personally I try to find someone that is has 70% of the qualties I like and 30% of thing I can tolerate. If I need to change something from the onset then they are not for me. Is this too harsh? Maybe, but I dont think we can change someone else and if we feel the need to then maybe we are more attracted to the person they "could be" rather than who they are?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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Posted on Wed, May 05, 2010 11:52

I'm not sure on someone always trying to change someone else. I do believe that you can be loved just as you are, quirks and all. I believe part of the issue is not changing, but growing. Everyone grows through time. Their ideas, attitudes, and experiances change. It is inevitable. It may just be not that someone is trying to change you, but to see that you grow in the same direction. It could be just trying to make the relationship work. Granted though, this is coming from someone who has never been in love, so not really a voice of experiance.


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