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Babycakes63
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Posted on Mon, Dec 07, 2009 05:43

Hey y'all, it's me, Elaine. I have been pondering this for quite a while now and would like some opinions on the subject. What Does "wanting a casual relationship" mean to you? I have turned down a few members because they say they are only interested in a casual relationship. What the hell does that mean? Is it subjective to the person? Is it a guy code for just sex, is it simply just dating and sex with no strings attached. One person said that he felt that casual meant he wanted to date several people at once until he found the one. Dictionary says aomething like it is a happening without design or commitment. Does that mean a monogamous relationship can be casual if they do un-planned things? I suppose not because Monogamous would have commitment in it. Personally, if one was looking for a long term relationship they should put that. If they are looking for marriage they should put that. If they just want sex or dating and sex they should just put casual. The editors are probably going to change all "sex" words to six, because I am no longer a member. Please advise. Elaine


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Tue, Dec 22, 2009 06:14

Please do not use my Blog as a means to flirt with others! I fully respect your opinions, but if you want to flirt with someone, check out their profile, then send them a wink or post your own blog. I'm not trying to be rude... just trying to make you aware of blogging ettiquette. Elaine


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Tue, Dec 15, 2009 20:09

Thanks Oz. I think your thoughts on this matter are so smart! You agree with me! Hee hee Great minds .... Elaine


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Tue, Dec 15, 2009 19:28

Quoting goodmann:

Why does there have to be a "code-word" for sex. Surely a person can see through a "sex-only" person. I'm partial to relationships only. Just don't have one at the moment. But I'm sure the Largefriends community can help me in that regards. I don't use code words... Just say what I mean, and mean what I say. Doesn't that make life a lot easier???


Because not all men are honest as you seem to be Goodman.  Men have learned that if they just straight and tell most women that they are just after sex that they will have a direct rejection.  So they go into the land of the not defined "casual"  something like holding up a carrot I think.

Now there are women out there that will get into just having sex but as one guy told me that he didnt want to go there as he was not sure how many other had been there before, and he liked the challenge of getting someone not so easy into bed.

You can be open and honest as your intentions are for having a relationship and that is great, but a lot of us have to weed through a lot of guys to work out the ones that are genuine.  Good luck to you I do hope you fin that special someone.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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ozredhead62
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Posted on Tue, Dec 15, 2009 19:21

Hey good post Elaine, and I agree with you that casual means something different to everyone.  You need to get their definition of it to be sure.

I have had the casual offer that mean just one night, or another that means sex every once in a while or ongoing but no committment.  All too confusing and does need to be clarified with eacb person.

 

Though I do feel a lot of men like to have the "casual" relationship until they find someone who they want something more with, but all in all its another word for uncommitted sex.



Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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Babycakes63
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Posted on Tue, Dec 15, 2009 03:48

Amen Goodman! I appreciate your honesty and insight. Surely you will find your mate on LF. Happy Hunting! Elaine


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goodmann
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Posted on Mon, Dec 14, 2009 07:11

Why does there have to be a "code-word" for sex. Surely a person can see through a "sex-only" person. I'm partial to relationships only. Just don't have one at the moment. But I'm sure the Largefriends community can help me in that regards. I don't use code words... Just say what I mean, and mean what I say. Doesn't that make life a lot easier???

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Babycakes63
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Posted on Fri, Dec 11, 2009 04:02

Thanks Kat, I guess the world will never know....


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Fri, Dec 11, 2009 04:00

Island, you are not only right you are so funny!


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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Thu, Dec 10, 2009 09:52

For me personally "casual" means dating different people at one time and not having a commitment. I tried that in the past when I was single and it really wasn't for me but for some it works quite well. Good luck figuring this one out!!


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islandgal64
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Posted on Thu, Dec 10, 2009 04:21

Quoting Babycakes63:

Island, I agree with you, but i still think that it is a personal definition with each person.


It's very much a personal definition - unfortunately by the very nature of the person insisting on the situation being "casual" you are probably unlikely to be able to pin them down to express precisely what they mean by that!


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Tue, Dec 08, 2009 18:38

Island, I agree with you, but i still think that it is a personal definition with each person.


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Babycakes63
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Posted on Tue, Dec 08, 2009 15:35

In response to Azure, Butter and smoosh, I can see that it is a personal definition that I must ask for with each person. Just another thing to think about....yeay... NOT!


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islandgal64
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Posted on Tue, Dec 08, 2009 09:26

In my own experience, and that of friends, some guys seem to use "casual" or "not looking for anything serious" as a form of self defence against their inability to assess a situation and communicate whether they want it to continue or not. I will never again go into a "relationship" that starts out with the guy saying "I'm just looking for something casual" or "I'm not looking for anything serious". It just seems a really negative and pointless way to start something off. Made even more confusing when they start talking about making plans for things to do together in several months time! I AM looking for something serious, but I understand that not every first couple of dates will end up as such. What happened to "let's see how things pan out" or "let's just take one date at a time"?


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smoosh
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Posted on Mon, Dec 07, 2009 20:50

Hi Elaine, You so make me laugh - hey lady - you spelled "six" wrong! I think casual means dating/sex/hang out but not with the same person while they get to know the people they are dating and weed them out but no real intention of anything permanent/long term. So.....my opinion only but I think all things in some form start out casual but as you realize you click and have lots in common - the "relationship" starts to turn into well a relationship. I would not date someone looking for casual as I would think they were not serious and only looking for fun however they described it. I wouldn't want to be someone's entertainment.


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butterbll
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Posted on Mon, Dec 07, 2009 20:46

Well Elaine I'll answer since no other guy is burning up the internet typing a reply to you Question "Is it a guy code for just sex, is it simply just dating and sex with no strings attached." to some It cam be just like the Girl code of "Freinds with benifits." Well as I Have gottten older , and hopefully some what wiser... My defanitiom of a casual relationship is . A relation ship where both parties have set a goal long term goal to marry (3-5 year range ) yet have not set in concrete the date or year. Yet are faithful to each other and work on building a Solid elclusive relationship based on Trust, Caring for and respecting for their partner Faults and all their Quircks . Not one based on a baser emotionally self centered and shallower , "Lust at first thrust footing".


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Posted on Mon, Dec 07, 2009 18:41

Hey Elaine, good topic. When I first got on dating online... I always had put casual, as I thought of it as moving slow ... not getting serious fast like some do. But I learned it meant to play around, have fun, have sex, no strings etc. So now, I always just put what my goal for a relationship is, serious long term---eventually! Then I explain in more detail in the profile introduction. My experiance tells me now to avoid any guy who has Casual relationship" on his profile. So far in my experiance its been guys looking for 'just Fun'! Which is fine if thats all one wants... but that isn't my goal. Smiles-azure


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