Plus size Blogs > Ozredhead62's blogs > Can Passion Be Learned?
Can Passion Be Learned? Sort by:
Author
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sat, Sep 12, 2009 16:04

While responding to another blog this question came to mind. Can you teach someone to be passionate if they are not that way with you from the beginning? Now Im talking about sexually here, as people can be passionate for other things as well. Some definitions of passion on the web are: passion - heat: the trait of being intensely emotional passion - rage: something that is desired intensely; passion - mania: an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action passion - a feeling of strong sexual desire passion - love: any object of warm affection or devotion; I have heard many times stories of break ups where one of the main factors has been miss matched libido or lack of similar tastes or interest in this arena. Is paasion about finding that person that brings that part out in you, or if you are passionate are you that way with any partner that you like?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    2 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sun, Oct 25, 2009 17:10

Quoting kewlfemale:

I strongly believe from experience that yes, you can surely teach and learn to be passionate about something, including sex.


Thanks for sharing here Kewlfemale, would love you to go into more detail. How can you teach someone to be passsionate. I suppose what I am talking about is that feeling I get from them that ignites me and increases both our passions. I have know men that say they are passionate and turned on by me, have seen the evidence of this but have not felt it in their touch or body language. Now Im not talking about skill, for yes that can be learned, its more that intagable thing that you feel coming from them that I think is either there or not right from the start. Am I crazy? lol


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sun, Oct 25, 2009 17:04

Quoting searchingforribs:

I know I am riding in on the end of this conversation. I have loved someone who was emotionally unavailable and the other way around. This may sound clinical.It's from a sales course I took years ago. Everyone has what are called submodalities. To some it is a touch, To some it may be a smell, a sound or a sight. Each person has a speciffic order. This may be cheating but in the course we where taught to ask " What can I do to make you feal loved." I do that when considering a relationship. Then I know if I am able to meet their needs. I should mention for most people it is a combination. For instance my sense of security is scent based. It is the smell of rice ,onions and Lysol. the things my grand mother used in her house when I was a child. When I smell any of these I am instantly back in my child hood sense of peace. Hope I did noy say to much.


LOL Serchingforribs, you did not say too much or too late, but you did make me laugh. :) Have an image of your perfect woman covered in rice, onions and Lysol. hehe Now that will surely make a interesting perfume? Seriouusly now I do think that yes you can ask your partner what would make them feel loved and I think this is very important in a relationship, though I think at this stage you may have gone past the part of attraction and perhaps passion. I have 2 men that come to mind that I was dating at one time, both smart, funny good comuncators and really nice guys. Both I would have put on the average side of looks. Now one I considered a better match for me than the other, though when we kissed there was nothing there, it was a nice kiss, but did not instill any further feeling. Now the othe man was a different story. We kissed and within minuts I want to tear his clothes off, lol. So what was the difference here? Why the passionate response to one and not the other? Did see the first man again to see if it was just technique or maybe nerves, but things did not improve at all. Would love to hear what you think. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
kewlfemale
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 2
Posted on Sat, Oct 17, 2009 17:51

I strongly believe from experience that yes, you can surely teach and learn to be passionate about something, including sex.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
searchingforribs
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 10
Posted on Thu, Oct 01, 2009 03:24

I know I am riding in on the end of this conversation. I have loved someone who was emotionally unavailable and the other way around. This may sound clinical.It's from a sales course I took years ago. Everyone has what are called submodalities. To some it is a touch, To some it may be a smell, a sound or a sight. Each person has a speciffic order. This may be cheating but in the course we where taught to ask " What can I do to make you feal loved." I do that when considering a relationship. Then I know if I am able to meet their needs. I should mention for most people it is a combination. For instance my sense of security is scent based. It is the smell of rice ,onions and Lysol. the things my grand mother used in her house when I was a child. When I smell any of these I am instantly back in my child hood sense of peace. Hope I did noy say to much.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Thu, Sep 24, 2009 18:38

Quoting Katwoman1968:

It could be either one I suppose or both. Depends on the 2 people involved. I know if I feel the passion in my husband it makes me feel more passionate.


Yes so agree with you there Katwoman, love to feel the passion from my partner its a real turn on and fires me up. So glad you found your lucky man that does that for you. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Katwoman1968
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 358
Posted on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 10:04

It could be either one I suppose or both. Depends on the 2 people involved. I know if I feel the passion in my husband it makes me feel more passionate.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 05:15

Quoting Katwoman1968:

I believe that if you find the right person they actually bring the passion out of you.


Hi Katwoman thanks for the commment, I find this really interesting. Can understand what you say that how you feel about someone can increse the passion you feel. Now what about if you are with someone and you dont feel the passion coming from them? Is this because they are not really that into you? Or is this a reflection of how you are feeling?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Katwoman1968
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 358
Posted on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 13:57

I believe that if you find the right person they actually bring the passion out of you.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Wed, Sep 16, 2009 18:34

Quoting Babycakes63:

Quotation was originally posted by ozredhead62 :Now men are interested in women for many different reason, I dont really care initially. What concerns me is whether I am interested in them. Guess it has to do with knowing the power of being a woman?

Though some men insist that they are interested in you yet you dont see it in their body language , feel it in their kiss or touch?

Who is missing the sparks you or him?

I suppose it is both.? I believe that if you don't feel that spark of passion, sexually or not, that you should not settle for what you have.? Find what you deserve!? You are worth it, all of us women are!? Don't burn your bridges though.? Ex lovers can turn into really good friends and perhaps you may really feel that spark, once he gets to know you and your reality better.? I am not saying to use him as a friend with benefits.? Be true friends!? Perhaps a lot of that spark comes with communication.? I have many years of practice using my facial expressions in American Sign language and I truly believe that utilizing facial?expressions and body language tell a lot about someone... a major use of communication.? For example, the raise of one eyebrow can be interpreted in many different ways... it is in how you raise that eyebrow that makes the difference.? I don't really think that we could possibly know what makes a man tick,?and that we will forever be in this "what makes men/women tick" situation.? I? believe that passion will be in ones mind eye.? What turns my spark up in a relationship is not what others would say sparks their passions.?



Yes agree each to their own and we all have different things that we find as a turn on ...thank goodness ...grins I am wondering though if others have had situtions where they were not initially attracted or felt that spark from someone but as they got to know them it has turned into real passion at a later stage? Maybe passion cant be learned , but can it develop due to loving someone?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 22:03

Quoting Babycakes63:

Heck no!¿ I do believe that there must be that spark too!¿ BTW, you look Awsome!¿ Your men should be knocking themselves over to vie for your attention!¿ If a man is only interested in you for sex, It is YOUR choice in what to do with him.¿ If you try to increase the passion and he is not into learning more, kick him to the curb and move on or keep using eachother, if that is what you wish.¿ Why is it that we all tend to settle with something that we are not satisfied in?¿ This is only my opinion, but I would try to meet new men in public for 2 reasons.¿ One being safe, two checking out his potential as a partner.¿ After the awkward stage of meeting someone, I would continue the courting in public, but I would like to see where his passion levels are.¿ Does he make me swoon when he touches me?¿ Does he kiss the way I like, does he compare to my levels of passion, not just sexual.¿



Thank you Babycakes, I do have my fair share of attention. grins Now men are interested in women for many different reason, I dont really care initially. What concerns me is whether I am interested in them. Guess it has to do with knowing the power of being a woman? Though some men insist that they are interested in you yet you dont see it in their body language , feel it in their kiss or touch? Who is missing the sparks you or him?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 21:54

Quoting aimeefla:

I am finding that sexual passion waxes and wanes as we get on with our years, the body is no long 18 or 27 or 34 or 44.¿ Other things need to come into play to keep the fire burning in the passion. Its a major deal for me dating at 60.

Other things move up on the list of passionate feelings.¿ A really good debate.

A mutal touching session, yes sex but not the with an O at the end for either side.

Cultivating the rest of the relationship ultimately becomes very important and learning how to bring passion to those things, even if it's from wonderful memories. Now these memories might just be from past relationships and are now brought into the here and now relationship.¿ The twists and turns of our lives as we grown older together¿ and starting when we're older and learning to be together.

The many sides of sexual passion and learning to make them as satisfying as a mind blowing O. Tricky huh?

Nat

¿

*********Quote OZ:

Now this is interesting Nat, can see how all this is affection and can increase your love for your partner, but does it actually increase the passion ... meaning sexual passion?

So are you saying that if I have a partner that I feel is not passionate enough that I should do these things and it will help handle that? Got to think about that one. :)

*******Quote Nat:

You're so right, that sort of attention is an ingredient for passion.? What other things can one do to charge up the passion for your partner?? ( is that yet another blog? )
1] a small note in a pocket
2] a flower
3] bringing home his/her favorite cookie/food magazine,milk,tea, WITHOUT being asked or reminded
4] a tiny kiss on the neck
5] a card in the mail
6] a simple hug
7] Your turn !!!
Nat

¿



Yes Nat tricky I think and of course this will have to be adjusted as we age and different issues come to bear. Though I guess for me aging (oh that does sound bad ..grins) had worked an opposite affect to what I had expected and for probably many reasons I am enjoying a new found fire that maybe makes me focus on this area more than I would have previously. Now lets take intercourse out of this for a minute. I would want to be kissed by my partner in a passionate way, feel the passion in the way he holds and touches me and know he desires me even if we could not for any reason. I dont think some people can show this, even if they are feeling it. Maybe they dont feel it to begin with? Maybe it just nice, never hot? Is there something wrong with this? Well no as long as their parter is at the same level? Now if they are not, how can you teach someone to kiss you in a way that you feel there desire .... if that is not who they are? There are lots of ways to show someone you care for them as you have stated but not so many to show that you are hot for them? Am I wrong here? Or am I just becoming a dirty horny old woman? he he he


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 21:38

Quoting smoosh:

I believe that passion can be brought out of you or intensified but I think there has to be a passion/zest in you from the beginning whether it be your passion for life, work or something else. Kind of like "lust" but I sincerely hope longer lasting.


Well if its my man it better be passion/lust for me and last a long long time. grins Do agree with this Smoosh has to be passion there to begin with. Dont want to wonder if my man is turned on and into me, want to feel that in more ways than one. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 21:30

Quoting butterbll:

I agree that it will take a spark of attraction to attempt to get passionate relationship going from some one you meet.But I feel It is the Mental Fore play that keeps the relationship growing. For me part of the dynamics of a relationship is the "dance" that one does to become intertwined emotionally and to get know what makes the person themselves.Their hopes ,dreams,their pains and regrets in life. It is the small acts of kindness and generosity that one can do for their partner that I feel is the key to a posative outcome. As for Me Pashionate Sexy can be just as much mental beauty as it is physcal beauty.


Could not agree more Butter, passion comes from the attraction that you feel for that person and as you say does not soley have to be from physical attraction. Really if it was just from the physical, would this be lust? Love that "dance" as you call and all those little tender thing just add fuel for the fire. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
aimeefla
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 262
Posted on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 03:47

I am finding that sexual passion waxes and wanes as we get on with our years, the body is no long 18 or 27 or 34 or 44.¿ Other things need to come into play to keep the fire burning in the passion. Its a major deal for me dating at 60.

Other things move up on the list of passionate feelings.¿ A really good debate.

A mutal touching session, yes sex but not the with an O at the end for either side.

Cultivating the rest of the relationship ultimately becomes very important and learning how to bring passion to those things, even if it's from wonderful memories. Now these memories might just be from past relationships and are now brought into the here and now relationship.¿ The twists and turns of our lives as we grown older together¿ and starting when we're older and learning to be together.

The many sides of sexual passion and learning to make them as satisfying as a mind blowing O. Tricky huh?

Nat

¿

*********Quote OZ:

Now this is interesting Nat, can see how all this is affection and can increase your love for your partner, but does it actually increase the passion ... meaning sexual passion?

So are you saying that if I have a partner that I feel is not passionate enough that I should do these things and it will help handle that? Got to think about that one. :)

*******Quote Nat:

You're so right, that sort of attention is an ingredient for passion.? What other things can one do to charge up the passion for your partner?? ( is that yet another blog? )
1] a small note in a pocket
2] a flower
3] bringing home his/her favorite cookie/food magazine,milk,tea, WITHOUT being asked or reminded
4] a tiny kiss on the neck
5] a card in the mail
6] a simple hug
7] Your turn !!!
Nat

¿



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sun, Sep 13, 2009 22:57

Quoting aimeefla:

Hey Neal,

¿

You're so right, that sort of attention is an ingredient for passion.¿ What other things can one do to charge up the passion for your partner?¿ ( is that yet another blog? )

1] a small note in a pocket

2] a flower

3] bringing home his/her favorite cookie/food magazine,milk,tea, WITHOUT being asked or reminded

4] a tiny kiss on the neck

5] a card in the mail

6] a simple hug

7] Your turn !!!

Nat



Now this is interesting Nat, can see how all this is affection and can increase your love for your partner, but does it actually increase the passion ... meaning sexual passion? So are you saying that if I have a partner that I feel is not passionate enough that I should do these things and it will help handle that? Got to think about that one. :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sun, Sep 13, 2009 22:48

Quoting Babycakes63:

Dear Oz, I think that Azure is right.¿ I believe that it is in all of us, from the beginning, we just need to nurture it and allow ourselves to express it.¿ I also believe that having a partner that is supportive is a good way to bring about more passion.¿ If you are passionate about something you are willing to fight or stand up for it, right?¿ If you find that you like something your partner does to you or something that you want to try, get your partner to help you attain it and you will both probably enjoy the ride much better!



Maybe we all have that within us from the start, but I have found the painful way that not all can be that way with you. I do believe also that people are able to access different levels of passion, maybe the secret is to find person who matches my level, then we should sizzle? grins I have been the paitient partner and even taken on a 32 year old virgin, with whom I had 11 happy years with, but despite all the actions or techniques being right, I could not feel him ignite beyond the sexual aspect, the passion was missing. How long do you give someone to have them feel passionate about you or being with you. If its not there pretty much in the start its not going to magically appear some time later. Personally I have no problem enjoying the ride, so to speak, but do want a partner that is up there with me, not someone that I have to try and bring to the same level. Am I wrong in expecting that?


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
smoosh
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 466
Posted on Sun, Sep 13, 2009 17:38

I believe that passion can be brought out of you or intensified but I think there has to be a passion/zest in you from the beginning whether it be your passion for life, work or something else. Kind of like "lust" but I sincerely hope longer lasting.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
butterbll
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 812
Posted on Sun, Sep 13, 2009 16:08

I agree that it will take a spark of attraction to attempt to get passionate relationship going from some one you meet.But I feel It is the Mental Fore play that keeps the relationship growing. For me part of the dynamics of a relationship is the "dance" that one does to become intertwined emotionally and to get know what makes the person themselves.Their hopes ,dreams,their pains and regrets in life. It is the small acts of kindness and generosity that one can do for their partner that I feel is the key to a posative outcome. As for Me Pashionate Sexy can be just as much mental beauty as it is physcal beauty.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
ozredhead62
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1011
Posted on Sun, Sep 13, 2009 09:53

Quoting aimeefla:

WOW OZ I love it !!

?

Okay passion, inside a relationship has so many definitions. As I age, I'm now 60, the men I've met along the way have changed with age as I have.? I never ever thought I even think about a relationship with a hot sexual passionate side.? There are so many things that can be done to "enhance" the intimacy of a partnership.?

That being said, I have entertained both sides now. I've read and experienced a great deal of different issues. Viagar is not the answer.? Being loving, tend, wanting and have a passionate need for someone is sometimes not sexual at all.?? Having the sexual side is what we've been taught to need, want and not live without.

I'd like to have that in my life, as well as a night of falling into his arms and disolving the world away, this is passion to me at times. As you pointed out there are many definitions for passion.? If you watch TV for more than two hours you'll see the sex in the media being sold.?

As far as being passionate with any partner, no it did not work that way with me.? As far as learning to be passionate, learing to be hot and heavy, well I'd have to say, from my personal experience, it's in the mind. You can put it there using fantasy.?

What's the line,? if you can't be with the one you love; love the one you're with.? Always hated that line in the song.??? or the lightening striking song also, She can wait, the "virgin" while HE gets his kicks.?? Not my favorite either.?


I've gone on off on several tanginents I know.?? Passion is a mind set, if you think you can...??? If you close your mind you won't. Is it possible to set your mind to passion with any one?? I'd hope not, I don't.


Nat 's 2.5 cents once again? :-)



LOL Nat so much in here, will comment on a few points. he he When I am referring to passion I am actually not talking about at the sexual intercourse part, by then other chemicals have taken over and many can become passionate to some degree. I am talking about before that or around that. The way they ... kiss you hold you look at you talk to you touch you think about you ... and so on Now I agree that it all begins in the mind, so if you meet someone that is not passionate with you ...what are they thinking? I dont want to be with someone and have to have a fantasy to feel that passion I want that to be there when we look or think about each other. I want to feel the passion in their kiss. I am not sure if it is as simple as just changing your mind set as then we would be able to have that with anyone would we not? Love your 25 cents worth keep them coming ... Im sending you $10 just to make sure. he he :)


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment