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nodramaaroundme
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Posted on Sat, Jul 11, 2009 22:22

Hey everyone, I just recently returned from a wonderful trip to Arkansas. Yes I said Arkansas. I rode horses, went 4-wheeling and even drove a tactor...lol. I really enjoyed the trip. I went with a friend of mine who has a boyfriend of 4 months. This is the thing. Everytime I turned around she was texting him, sending him pictures or talking to him on the phone. And she would always say something like, "He's not doing well with me gone." I was very supportive but in my head I was going WTF? We were gone all of 5 days and not that long if you think about he stayed with her the night before and saw her the morning of the flight and was there when she returned on the 5th day. I know these things because I calulated the time I can leave my fur kids without having someone stop in to feed and water them...lol. Anyway, back to my friend. Is it me or is that a bit of overkill? When I travel I don't want to think my man is home whining about how much he misses me and can't stand it because I'm gone for less than 5 days. I want him to be like, "Wow baby you climbed a fence to get on a horse I'm proud of you. When you get home I'll have something else for you to climb." LOL I'm just saying. I don't want him texting me every 5 minutes asking me what I'm doing and can't wait until you get home or worse yet, I wish I was there too. I guess I'm asking is this why I'm single and my relationships don't last that long. I show my man a lot of attention when we are around each other and I'm rare because I still write hand written letters to my sweetheart (when I have one). I'm known to send "just because" cards even when we live in the same city, who doesn't like to receive a card in the mail. But when I want to go on a pleasure trip, I shouldn't have to worry about you making me feel bad about it. This trip was planned long before she even met him. I just don't get it. I think she enjoyed the attention but tried to act like it was working her nerves. Then acted like this was the way it's suppose to be done when dating someone. I will admit it's been a while since I've been in a relationship but I'm pretty sure if the guy I dated acted like that it would be a short relationship. So I'm interested in your thoughts on this.

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Greeneyes562000
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Posted on Mon, Jul 13, 2009 20:13

This guy doesn't sound like a healthy person. And your wanting her to be "present" while you are together is a very normal expectation and desire. From my past experience, I'd bet he's either very insecure and/or could be signs of him trying to be in control. Either would scare me. I don't want someone so insecure I don't have quiet moments alone or uninterrupted time with friends/family or feel like I have to look after their feelings, etc. And control, at first they may make it seem flattering, "I don't want you to go there because I'll miss you" and months or years later you find you've allowed yourself to become isolated from friends, family, etc. Now, he hasn't gone to the second, control, from what you've shared. But she hopefully uses caution and is staying aware. So hard to sometimes when it's a thrilling, new relationship.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Jul 13, 2009 09:00

That man needs a hobby! --True


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butterbll
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Posted on Sun, Jul 12, 2009 21:15

As a Guy I have to say this Guy sounds too clingy. Excessive Calling every five minutes Is too much. At best it should have been at least once after dark at a set time no more.It sounds like he was unshure (insecure) in the trust issue.


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