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What's you comfort range? Sort by:
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butterbll
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Posted on Sun, Apr 19, 2009 10:21

A recent wink from someone got me to¿pondering what is my comfort range.As some of you know I am¿ in my late 40's (46 to be exact) .Well the other day I received a wink from a young lady¿ who who was barely 19.Hey, I have a daughter two years older than that.I've got clothes older than that also! How far is too much of an age spread¿difference? What is your comfort¿ level? For me¿ 10-15 years max either way¿ is what I had held so far. Am I being "old fashioned ? If I was to date a lady that young I'de fel like I was "robbing the cradle" or I am being¿¿ a fuddy duddy. Conversely If I was dating a lady that was¿ 20 older than me¿ some folks would feel I was seeing her for reasons other than love .Am I being a"Square"?



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ash723
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Posted on Tue, May 05, 2009 19:02

I think it depends greatly on the people in question. Personally I'm not sure I would be comfortable dating someone more that 5-7 yrs older/younger. I was talking about this with one of my co-workers who is 30 yrs old about this because he was thinking of dating another co-workers daughter who is 19 and that just seems off to me. The best way I've ever heard it put was if you could have at one point been your partners babysitter then you may want to re-think it...but again, like I said in the beginning it depends greatly on the maturity of the people involved.


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one2one
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Posted on Sat, May 02, 2009 23:06

I've always thought that age is mostly a number and has little to do with attraction, compatibility and love. But as time goes on my range has become smaller, probably more in the 10-15 yr. range, too. I've been in age different relationships, younger and older than me, and it has little to do with how good a relationship is, but there are things that can make it difficult to sustain it long term. We all go through different stages in our lives, and that's the thing that I've found can present issues. Someone who's older and come to the point in life where they know exactly what they want and are tired of making concessions for other people may not have the ability to compromise or really make room for someone else's needs in their vision of what they want their life to be. Someone much younger may not have the kind of maturity it takes to appreciate the unspoken affection and beauty of quiet moments spent together, to understand how children come first or may not be ready to settle into a life built together. In the end it's really about how well two people fit together in lots of different ways and how much of the things that sustain relationships they have with each other. But don't be surprised if your 25 year old amore doesn't show up for dinner and calls at 3 am, after quit a few cocktails, to see if you're mad at her because she went out with her friends instead. It could happen. And the 55 year old love of your life may not consider your dreams nearly as important as how well you support and help achieve his. There are always exceptions, of course ...


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Fri, May 01, 2009 22:29

Hey Butterbll, firstly I want to say that you have quite a sense of humour there, good to see, you should show it more often. :) I think this is really hard thing to say, and though I usually have a limit of 10 years either way find that you can meet someone that will make you look at your boundaries. I did see a great man who was 15 years younger, though I do admit that I have shied away from anyone else that young since then. As for older, well I am finding this a bit of problem as there are only a very few older men that I would say have stayed young in their attitude and ways. What really matters is if you are comfortable with it? You dont want to feel old or too young with your partner, and a lot of that depends on them as well. There are so many things to consider in a big age difference relationship, but I know for some it can work.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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Kyndle
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Posted on Mon, Apr 20, 2009 16:33

As a young woman and even now, I have always prefered an older man for serious relationship material as most the men my age were simply good for short term distraction. I do understand having a limit but don't discount her as a friend just yet, you might find she is alot more mature than a typical nineteen year old. I think it makes you respectful, I have a three year lower but a fifteen upper range simply because I have met such amazing people that age was rarely even a question, much less a deciding factor. J


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smoosh
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Posted on Mon, Apr 20, 2009 13:53

To each their own - I was married to a man 26 years older than me so I'm pretty open either way as long as everything else cements the relationship. But I agree that closeness in age does help with seeing things from same point and generation and things such as schooling,music, history, parenting etc etc.


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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Mon, Apr 20, 2009 11:34

I struggle with this because it seems that the men who are attracted to me are all quite younger than I am....the ones my age or older aren't interested. I did date someone 12 years younger than me for a short time. Right now I work with someone who is 25 and I am 41. He is interested in me but I feel I would be cheating him out of the chance to have children some day if things worked out. Don't know what to do here. I think 10 years is more my comfort zone.


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shazzalou
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Posted on Mon, Apr 20, 2009 07:11

the youngest guy i ever have gone out with is my sons dad, he is 3yrs yonger than me.

as im now 38 i personally dont think i could go out with someone upto 10yrs younger than i am.

i have a great male friend who i chat and text on a regular basis from italy, hes 51.

i work with a young lad at work, he 18.

i quiet often come out of home to go and pick him up and give him a lift home as he hasnt the bus fair home.

that got all the girls at work gossiping, till i reminded them IM OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!!!

he like a lot of the girls at work feel they can talk to me about anything, which they can.

but because i chat with young mark and give him a lift home doesnt mean im after the poor bugger, bless im!!

id eat him alive!!

¿

shaz xx



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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Apr 20, 2009 02:02

I'm a little in the miority, I guess. I prefer to not date men younger than me, but I am open (somewhat) to older men. I suppose it would depend on the individual, but I would take into consideration (along with age) all factors that might influence the future of a relationship: 1] whether he has been married, divorced or has been single all this time (not likely to be an attraction for me if he HAS been single all his life) 2] does he have children already(important because this attribute will tell me whether or not he will understand when I have to deal with mine); and I don't want any more children 3] health concerns 4] career and financial stability (I am primarily concerned with whether or not he has a stable work history and does he pay his own way; I could care less about net worth or future financial prospects) Age is an important number to consider, when considering the above factors. The larger the age difference, the greater likelihood that all four items will come into play. I suppose I am more attracted to men who are within 10 to 15 years of my own age, but I would entertain the thought of ANY good man who can be honest, loving and has similar life experiences and values. Best of luck to all!--True


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Sun, Apr 19, 2009 18:53

When I was dating I would have gone 10 years either way I think. Although my mom had a wonderful relationship with a man 20 years her senior and my brother has a good marriage with a woman 16 years younger. It really depends on the individuals. My fiance is 8 years younger than I and I never notice the difference except when we actually TALK about age.


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Posted on Sun, Apr 19, 2009 16:15

I would have to agree with you. I am in my 30's but would not feel comfortable dating someone more than 10 years older or younger, even 10 years could be pushing it. I think there may be some situations where it would be okay to go beyond that range but since my parents are 23 years older then me i would feel more than 10 older they are closer to my parents age then mine.


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islandgal64
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Posted on Sun, Apr 19, 2009 11:03

Now for starters Butter, 46 is only MID 40s, lol, late 40s doesn't happen until 49 years 364 days! Back to the topic, I too feel uncomfortable when contacted by guys young enough to be my son or old enough to be my father. I actually have a smaller age range preference than you - I prefer 5-10 years either way. That's not to say I would never entertain someone outside of that but they'd have to be pretty exceptional to get through the filters!! I would actually stick more rigidly to this online, whereas if chatting to someone face to face I probably wouldn't even bother to ask their age if we were connecting ok. For me it's not about what other folk might think but simply that I find I have a better rapport with those a little closer to my own age. I guess we all have to do what feels right for us as individuals, and there will be plenty out there for whom someone of any age presents absolutely no obstacle. And if that's what works for them, who am I to argue?


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