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Should there be 2 LF's ? Sort by:
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smoosh
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Posted on Thu, Apr 02, 2009 20:04

Got to thinking whether there should be two site's for LF to administer - one for "adults seeking casual" and one for "friends and seeking long-term relationships" since the topic seems to keep cropping up of people and what they are truly seeking. How on earth can anyone govern people's honesty of being on the right site as real life is full of people who know what they want, think they know what they want, don't have a clue or just want to take what they can? I myself prefer the honesty - what do you prefer? Is it time for a LF "adult only - activity partner site?"


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smoosh
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Posted on Thu, Apr 16, 2009 18:35

I am thankful for the freedom of speech from everyone - no matter what our opinion is - we are all entitled to it and lets us see both sides of the coin - pros and cons. We can all agree to disagree but at least there was a discussion which was the point.


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butterbll
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Posted on Wed, Apr 15, 2009 10:49

Lawsy 58.I did not say married folk are not welcome.  If all you want to do is make freinds and chat  I personally have no problem with that.However to "trolling" for a hook ups I would prefer that happen here on this site. But I can not impose my beleifs on , nor will I try to. However we should all be Adults and respect each other's right to pursue  what ever that makes you happy as long as no laws are being broken.



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lawsy58
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Posted on Tue, Apr 14, 2009 13:57

I wonder why it's assumed that every married person here is cheating, is looking to cheat, or even wants to cheat?  Some of us really don't know what we want to do, or why we're here -- we're pretty much just window shopping.  Best case scenario, at least for me, would be a stimulating conversation.  (Which, by the way, we're all having right here.) 

If islandgal has any kind of point, it's that this might be construed as the first step toward actual button-ripping zipper-zipping cheating, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that.  Certainly, if you're thinking about buying, window-shopping is where you'd start.

It's also a sign of an unhealthy relationship but also personal sadness, frustration, and maybe even anger.  We all have ways of dealing with this -- and some of us have determined that window-shopping works best for us. 

If I just wanted to get laid, there's a hell of a lot easier ways to do that then by spending time and energy here.



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islandgal64
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Posted on Tue, Apr 14, 2009 12:44

Smoosh .... Apologies that your thought provoking blog has been hijacked by alot of nonsense .... that was never my intention!


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Tue, Apr 14, 2009 10:08

I welcome all on this site who are honest in who they say they are and what they are looking for. 

 

Until I have walked in their shoes I can not judge their actions, despite my personal beliefs. 

 

Only time I have a problem is when the "attached" on here, pretend they single. 



Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Apr 13, 2009 22:21

For the record: This site purports to be for larger folk AND "admirers." No where does it specify that these admirers be "single". While I abhor those who might be cheating on their spouses, as adults, we all must be tolerant of those who might hold different values in life. I agree that some members are biased against those already in a relationship, but I have to say that I believe this bias is mostly geared towards those who are in a relationship but SEEKING something else--secretly. ISLAND: I agree with Kewanna (somewhat) that you DO come off as exceptionally opinionated. You sometimes come across as downright rude. I don't know if this is intentional or not, so I try to just take your posts for their informational value--minus any emotional input. I am sure that sometimes I come across the same way, although I make an effort not to. In summary, my opinion is that this site is open to ALL people. If you don't like someone's profile, DONT TALK TO THEM! As for the blogs: they, also, are for ALL people. If you don't like the topic, don't reply! If you do, try to keep it civilized. It IS afterall, a public forum. Good luck to all--Misty


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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Mon, Apr 13, 2009 09:41

My question is why do we accept members on here with open arms if they are "in a relationship" but if someone is married we ostracize them? That hardly seems fair. I think that there is a big difference with "cheating" and pretending you are single when you are not and that of being honest and saying you are married. Some people on this site are here just to make friends and feel accepted....no wonder the blogs have gone down hill with certain self-righteous people chasing them off.


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Posted on Sun, Apr 12, 2009 07:08

lawsy58 has a very valid point... as a married woman (and I even met my husband on this site so go figure), I have been made to feel that I am no longer welcome to participate because of my "married" status... as if it was some type of sentence. Excuse me... but I thought that was the end result everyone was seeking on a dating site? I will be totally frank and not mix words... islandgal64... for the life of me, I don't know what the h_ll you are even on a dating site for because you come across as so jaded and bitter that I couldn't imagine any man who paid any attention to your responses on the blogs/forums even bothering to contact you. I agree with Smoosh that the profile is a place where you have the opportunity to give someone a written snapshot of your life so to speak and describe what you are looking for... but then participating in the blogs and forums allows them to see your personality and who you are and what you believe in. When I first joined this site 5 years ago, it was much different than it is now. I have seen a lot of people come and go. I have made a lot of friends here, which is why I stay... although, I don't visit that often anymore. I always tried to be helpful and honest in what I wrote... but it was made obvious that just because I was now "married" that I no longer "belonged" here.


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smoosh
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Posted on Sat, Apr 11, 2009 15:28

I had no idea I created a blog topic for the sake of name calling. Too bad we all can't wear our badges of truth pasted to the front of our foreheads so there would be no doubt about what you're getting. What would mine say and would some people read past the word "obese" to see who I really am or is there more than meets the eye? The whole point of posting a profile is to try to let someone share part of themselves with who they are trying to attract and what they are looking for. I find the blogs then wrap up the profile by giving us a peek at what someone's all about. Blogs show someone's intelligence, interests, commitments, opinions and sometimes they just plain show someone's blinders and judgement. It appears that some of the bloggers "do not" want honesty in the profiles unless it suits them. "figures"


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lawsy58
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Posted on Sat, Apr 11, 2009 15:05

butterbll writes: << There are plenty other web sites sites for folks looking for  flings and wild one night stands .LF does not need to cheapen its self to cater to that crowd. >>

I don't understand what's wrong with you people.  If you don't want married people here, then lobby management to something about it.  Of course they won't because married people pay their bills.

This is an open site welcome to everybody, especially those (such as me) who pay a memebership fee -- otherwise they wouldn't offer "married" as a status.  Would you all agree with islandgal that you'd prefer that married people stay in the shadows -- unseen and unheard -- so that you can all bemoan your single status without interruption?  Or would you prefer we lie about our status (I'm sure there are a couple of those out there too) in order to blend into your exclusive club that much better?


 



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Posted on Sat, Apr 11, 2009 13:50

islandgal64 said: "Lawsy from your profile and your blogs you come across as a conceited, spineless and rather sad little man who is looking to cheat on his wife." funny... I didn't get that at all.


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butterbll
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Posted on Fri, Apr 10, 2009 21:27

There are plenty other web sites sites for folks looking for  flings and wild one night stands .LF does not need to cheapen its self to cater to that crowd.



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lawsy58
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Posted on Wed, Apr 08, 2009 12:08

I think there might be a general¿misperception among Single folk why us Married folk are here.¿ Not all of us are all that eager to jump in the sack with the first cleavage-baring woman who responds to a wink.¿ In fact, we all know that geographical distance makes sack-jumping nearly impossible, and we accept that reality with a shrug.¿¿But¿that doesn't necessarily deter us from reaching out (even across national borders)¿and sharing our experiences, our gripes, and even some flirtacious chit-chat¿with each other.¿ We're cool with that, even in the face of some harsh judgment coming from others.

Is that cheating?¿ I don't know.¿ If it is it certainly doesn't violate my vow of monogamy.¿ And in the meantime it provides some relatively benign therapeutic relief.¿ And quite honestly, the few online chats I've had with women here have brought a smile to my face¿and makes me more pleasant to be around.



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butterbll
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Posted on Wed, Apr 08, 2009 08:15

I have honestly have to say I¿feel if I am going to invest the emotional capitol¿ in a relationship .I am not going to invest it in a short term gain.Because If¿ a relationship is only based on short term instant¿gratifactation, then there is probabily little or no chance of a LONG term Quality relationship. Because¿,what happens when¿ the partner that you are¿ CHEATING with decides to leave their married partner? What of the¿ shredded lives of the children? What If you get married to that person ? Could you trust that person not to CHeat AGAIN?¿¿What about the Distraught¿ EX-partner that they left wanting to do bodily harm to both of you?¿Sorry,I Don't need any more holes,¿or bullet holes in my body. If you are SOOO unhappy with the marriage¿ get¿ counseling with your partner .Or just get a divorce !!!!!!!! Then start dating again, when you are free from¿ the married partner.



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smoosh
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Posted on Tue, Apr 07, 2009 19:58

Nooooooooooo - not women - not women on LF who are unahppy or sneaky or lonely and being human ? omg - laughing my friggin socks off - we're all cut from the same cloth - guess we're glad to have some honest women on board too. I'm not surprised - this is reality. Our job is to weed out the ones (male or female) that we are not interested in and find all the redeeming characteristics that we cherish and then go forward if both parties are willing in whatever pursuit they want.


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lawsy58
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Posted on Tue, Apr 07, 2009 12:46

I just did a quick search and discovered there are 500+ profiles of married women (ages 19-99) looking for intimate/casual relationships with men.

¿

A separate seach uncovered 500+ additional profiles of women with an¿"in a relationship" status also seeking intimate/casual relationships with men.

¿

So while there's been a lot of demonization of married men sneaking around the hallways here at Large Friends, the fact is there are also a lot of married (or committed)¿women doing the exact same thing.¿ (Oh, we're a bad bad bunch!) ¿So the proposal put forward by the ever-wise and ever-lovely smoosh that we "get a room" should be seriously considered so that we married folk don't accidentally run into you single folk in our once-wide-enough hallway.

¿

Now I know full well that with little effort we¿paying members can¿find and chat with whomever we want by using the Advanced filter-and-search tool, and I have taken that wonderful opportunity and limited my sniffings to women in the same leaky marital boat I'm in.¿

¿

But to be perfectly honest, I like you single folk too -- you ladies have pretty photos and interesting profiles -- and I like that we can all share the same blog space and can contribute a variety of interesting and contrasting viewpoints and insights into each other's woes and worries and¿stifling conundrums.

¿

But I suppose the question is whether it's intolerably¿offensive to you single folk that us¿married folk are here sniffing around each other?¿ Or whether you can enjoy¿our company¿as much as we enjoy yours?



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truefriendinme
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Posted on Sat, Apr 04, 2009 01:23

I take the profiles on here as I do my experiences for life: I believe in what I experience. If I experience dishonesty, in whole or in part, I will believe that the person placing the proifile "intends" to decieve. If I experience honesty, I will believe they are genuine in their search for friendship and/or love. I also believe in research. Research to me is taking the time to get to know someone before placing my heart in their hands--lock, stock and barrel. If we are stupid enough to jump head first into quicksand, we are completely deserving of the drowning we will surely endure. I happen to carry scuba gear with me! :) Good luck!--True


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butterbll
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Posted on Fri, Apr 03, 2009 19:55

I feel that most folks refuse to speak their mind for fear of offending the person.I have to say that I am probilly one of the few who does. Yes at times  it has cost me a few relationships.However I feel if  the are not going to be true to others  most likely  they are not true to themselves also. So Even If there were two LF sites( one who want to have Affairs while still married , and those who a  serious relationship with non married folks) there would still be the 2% who would  cause trouble .Those 2% who would fail at being honest about their  motives of chatting with a nother party.



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islandgal64
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Posted on Fri, Apr 03, 2009 10:35

I understand what you're saying and why you're suggesting it but I don't think it'd work. The married/attached ones looking for "discrete fun on the side" would still prowl on every site they could in the hope of finding someone with similarly lacking values. They may actually prefer the thought (and safety/hygeine?) of preying on someone who isn't doing the same as them and sleeping with every willing funseeker. The only solution seems to be that the genuine ones wise up, don't stop hoping for the best but always expect the worst. When someone turns out to be someone different to what they want you to believe just chalk it down to experience and move on. I know that's slightly cynical but it seems these blogs have always been full of the same moans (mine included!) and I don't think raising the issue on here makes a jot of difference except as a warning to any newbies to be on their guard! A dating site is probably not such a different mix of real and fake than in a bar - it's just easier for some to lie when not face to face.


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