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Attending a Dance as a couple Sort by:
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aimeefla
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Posted on Thu, Feb 19, 2009 09:03

I have this question, here's the scenario. You go to a dance with the person you're dating for about four months now. Most of the people at the dance know you both as a couple. You attend this dance often. A women comes up to my partner, asked if he wants to dance. He accepts and they get on the dance floor. He thanks her and then comes back to sit next to me. I want to know, is this a normal thing to do? If I did not want to get up for that particular dance? Would you be upset? or just let it slide? It does happen from time to time, each time the same. After the dance he thanks the lady and returns to my side. I honestly don't get angry, I think it's fine actually since I was not in the mood to dance that dance. What about the rest of you? How wwould you handle it? Natalie


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9777racefan
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Posted on Tue, Feb 24, 2009 12:00

I think that a man sould ask his date if it is ok to dance. I think that it is only respectful to do this. I have always ask if it is ok and always will. I wouldn't get upset if she danced with someone else.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Sun, Feb 22, 2009 20:49

Well, first, let me say : I don't do dancing very well, so there would be aLOT of down time with ME at a dance. (lol!) BUT: If I were dating someone and we went to a dance together, I would think that "dancing" is fine. Dancing with others once in a while is fine, too. But when it starts to progress to flirting or playing grab-a$$, then it's time for a new hobby. If it's the same woman, time and again, it might mean that she is just determined to try to get her hooks in the guy. Your friend just needs to be patient and make CERTAIN this chick knows who he's going to go home with at the end of the evening. Be a woman, be civilized, be gracious...but be CAUTIOUS. Never let them see you sweat! (remember that commercial?) Tell her good luck!--True


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smoosh
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Posted on Sun, Feb 22, 2009 06:43

The guy obviously likes to dance or he would say no - he's also polite and he returns to his partner and doesn't initiate dancing so....... I guess the lady goes to the dances to listen to the music or does she dance too? I don't think it's a big deal until she makes it one. Give her feet a rest and when the issue becomes a issue (flirting/intimate dancing) then discuss it. (or if she doesn't like dancing - try another form of entertainment they both like)


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one2one
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Posted on Sat, Feb 21, 2009 12:37

I should also admit that I am the jealous type sometimes, and would probably feel a few little jabs from the green eyed monster if I were in the same situation.¿ However, if there is nothing more than that going on then it's up to me to deal with my own feelings.



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one2one
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Posted on Sat, Feb 21, 2009 12:32

I think it's normal, and your friend's boyfriend handled it really well. He didn't do anything wrong, and accepting an invitation to dance with another woman would only be a problem if there were more to it than that.

I've enjoyed talking to, maybe even dancing with, an interesting or kind man who I know is attached in social situations before.¿ Not because I'm a threat to his relationship ... I have really good ethics about that, but because I enjoyed the time with them without any thought that it might go further.¿

Knowing that it wouldn't made it comfortable and relaxed; I could appreciate them and what they had to say without any of the more complicated male/female dynamics coming into play.



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petale46
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Posted on Sat, Feb 21, 2009 07:34

Oh... Thought it was you and forge an appropriate answer!!!¿ Didn't want to hurt your feelings, don't care about hers... hehehehe

¿

Is she nuts.¿ Can he sit with someone of the other sex on public transport??¿ She better loosen the leach a little because the guy might find this flattering at the beginning, he will get tired of it pretty fast.¿ Maybe someone should remind her that he is with her of his own free will and because¿he chose to be with¿her. That however doesn't mean he's got a stamp on his butt that spells her name.¿ She's not allow to say if he can or cannot dance with someone else.¿ That's his decision.¿ How would she like if he was to buy her clothes because he doesn't want other men to look at her.¿ By any standards that would be totally unacceptable.¿ To ask him not to dance with other women is as unacceptable to me.



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aimeefla
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Posted on Fri, Feb 20, 2009 15:52

Hi Petal, It's an ongoing discussion I'm having with a friend who is in a relationship for six months now. She gets furious when someone asks him to dance. I told her that there was no reason to be furious, she should be delighted that others find him as attractive as she does. He goes right back to sit with her. Maybe she's just annoyed because no one asks her LOL LOL I totally agree with you . I told my friend that I would post this on here to get unbiased opinions. I know I"m right and you're right also !! Aimee


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Fri, Feb 20, 2009 04:50

There are two different kinds of dancing Nat. There is "innocent fun dancing" which includes shaking your booty or casually slow dancing and then there is sexually suggestive dancing. As long as this man was not sexually suggestive dancing which would include grinding, slow dancing with both his hands on her waist (or wandering) then I say cut him some slack. Dancing can be a load of fun and my ex- would never dance with me unless he'd had a few beers so I turned to others the innocent fun of dancing. I'm guessing either this woman (women?) has no partner, or her partner doesn't like to dance. A surprisingly high number of men don't like to dance. Yours does. Consider yourself lucky and dance WITH him when you feel like it. When you don't, let him enjoy the freedom and fun of dancing with others.


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petale46
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Posted on Thu, Feb 19, 2009 19:08

I'm not trying to insult you but honestly... Being in a relationship with someone is not a jail sentence.¿¿Of course it's perfectly normal to dance with someone else, the same way it would be if he was jogging down a path and she would jog by his side.¿¿Do you think they are going to start a torrid sex affair on the dance floor??¿ Are we talking passionate tango here???¿ Are you afraid your partner might be interested?¿¿ Is she there on her own??¿ How does her companion seem to react?¿ Maybe you should invite him to dance, showing you're the bigger woman... figuratively of course!!

¿

I'm actually surprise that this would be questionned,¿it's just¿a social event.¿ But, I don't feel¿you mind him dancing with other women, I believe you don't like him dancing with HER.¿ By inviting him to dance more then once, she's infringing on your territory making you feel threathened.¿ I would also add that in your eyes, she's probably a knock out, bringing insecurities up to the surface.¿

¿

Is this really just asking opinions or is that a big green monster I see over your shoulder and you're looking for back up!!! LOL¿



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