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OK. I'm finally going to do it Sort by:
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jjiggl
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total posts: 267
Posted on Fri, Jul 14, 2006 05:22

I am finally going to call my sister and get my half-brother's phone number so that I can get my father's phone number. My half-brother is the only one who really keeps in touch with my father. I guess he does not have any ill will towards him. God, I wish I could be that way towards my father. I am so afraid that when I contact my dad, he won't be glad to hear from me. I am afraid that he will be in the middle of doing something else and tell me that he'll have to call me back. And that will just kill me. I want to have a relationship with him but I am so afraid of making the first move. I don't want to be rejected or worse--put off until he has time to deal with me. That would make me feel like he is dangling me on a string: a feeling that I really hate. I can hardly type thinking about the "what if's" of the situation. And like I always do, I am "awfulizing" our phone call. I am trying to think about the worse that could happen so that I will be prepared when it does happen. (That statement there just set me back about two months worth of self analysis.) Regardless of how scared that I am about contacting him, I have to do it now because I said it aloud and because I am "putting it down on paper" so to speak by posting it on the blog. God help me!!


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pathseeker
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total posts: 119
Posted on Mon, Jul 17, 2006 06:56

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing in the game, I know its a baseball thing but it does apply to life in general! :)


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bbwchina
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total posts: 68
Posted on Mon, Jul 17, 2006 03:18

Hi jj...I agree with bluegirl, and wish you the BEST of luck!! I used to call my dad and try to maintain a relationship, but the final straw was Father's Day 3 years ago, when I called and his wife told me he refused to come to the phone. That was my last call to him. I wrote him a note and told him that I wasn't going to bother him anymore, that if he decided he wanted to talk to me, he knew how to contact me. I guess that time still hasnt come for him. Anyhow, I applaud yuo for tryimg to take that step and contact him. At least you will always know you tried!! GOOD LUCK!! Let me know how it goes!!


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