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jjiggl
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total posts: 267
Posted on Sun, Jan 11, 2009 06:29

Funny that you should ask this question. Last week, my last boyfriend showed up at my job very unexpectedly, (we broke up 5 years ago), and apologized. He did not say for what, (nor did he look me in the eye), but he did not have to do either. We both knew that he was a jerk and that he took my kindness for weakness. I also know that he only came there because he thought that I would help him do or get something. I didn't know what mess he wanted me to help him with and I didn't care to know either. Our meeting was brief because after his apology I told him that it wasn't necessary nor was I interested in what was going on in his life and wished him a nice day. At that, he said "OK", and left. Had I not been at my job, I would have told him that his apology was accepted and thanked him for the relationship because it changed the way that I went about choosing men. Because our relationship was so toxic for me, my eyes were finally open to the reason that I was in so many terrible relationships. Being with him showed me the following: --Feeling sorry for someone is not a reason to continue a relationship and that feeling sorry for someone is not love. Staying with that person just because you feel sorry for them is a crutch for not being alone. --Red flags should not be ignored, but investigated and better yet, a reason to end the relationship. --No one can love a door mat and that you have to love and respect yourself before you can expect someone to love and respect you. --No matter how hard you try, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help himself. --Just because I was hurt, I don't harbor bitterness. Forgiveness is very liberating. I really would have liked to have told him these things but the setting was all wrong.


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prettygirl2006
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total posts: 17
Posted on Sun, Jan 11, 2009 02:10

"As he has planted, so does he harvest; such is the field of karma." Now you know how I felt... PG P.S. Thanks one2one, I needed that.


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