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4funorlove
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 01:26

What does that phrase mean to you? - commitment? - exclusivity? - being there for the other person? When you feel emotionally tied to someone, does that mean you have some obligations towards them? does that give them some rights to something from you?


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Fri, Dec 05, 2008 06:37

Quoting 4funorlove: thanks for all your comments! i feel emotionally tied to people - as aimee says, there are different types of ties. It is something I FEEL - and not something that provides a right to others... in short i am not dependent on feelings of love FROM a woman for my feelings of self-worth, self esteem etc.. and expect the same from a woman.. In other words emotiona ties to me are the ties i create for MYSELF - not something that BINDS another person to me... is this cold, or selfish? LOL- i have been told it is both

OMG why would this be cold or selfish? This is not something one does or tries to create to bind another to them, thats called manipulation. Being emotionally tied to another is something you give, a gift, that is meant to be unselfish, for it should not come with any expectations. Many a times I have seen this used as a controlling factor in relationships, as if you now owe something to the other person because of how they feel about you. Being able to give and receive emotional ties freely by both parties is the magic of any good relationship.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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4funorlove
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Posted on Wed, Dec 03, 2008 04:09

thanks for all your comments! i feel emotionally tied to people - as aimee says, there are different types of ties. It is something I FEEL - and not something that provides a right to others... in short i am not dependent on feelings of love FROM a woman for my feelings of self-worth, self esteem etc.. and expect the same from a woman.. In other words emotiona ties to me are the ties i create for MYSELF - not something that BINDS another person to me... is this cold, or selfish? LOL- i have been told it is both


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aimeefla
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 15:08

Hi 4funorlove, I agree with OZ, there's a desire to give that person your time, your attention and a bit of you. Emotional ties encompasses so many things to me. It represents a bonding,as you do with your child and certain family members. I have emotional ties to many friends, yet it's not at all the same sort of tie I have for my sons. The bottom line is emotional ties means that there is something extra coming from inside. You work harder to establish that with someone you meet than you do when you have a child. I also think the older we get the emotional ties change dramatically. Kids go off and have their own lives, you detach a bit, friends wander into their own lives, again you detach a bit. Then there are the emotional ties to a pet that's defendant on you exclusively. Emotional ties holds a host of responses from me. Aimee Fla


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 12:49

Well 4Funorlove, I think you have just listed 3 things that SOME men have a severe allergy to, as these 3 things together mean relationship. LOL Seriously now :)... commitment to me means that you have the intention to put in 150% and do what it takes to make things work. To be exclusive means to be committed to just one. Basically not doing anything that is perceived to be creating either an sexual or emotional relationship with someone apart from your partner. Being there for the other person is where you care and value them enough to put their needs into consideration and if needed to make them number one. Its being dependable and available. Obligation tends to imply a commitment and responsibility that is in some way is enforced or even unwelcome. When I feel emotionally tied I'm not obligated to them, but I guess that it bring forth feeling of wanting to be committed, exclusive and being their for them. It is not something I have to do , but want to, as to me, that person has now become special enough to warrant my time and attention. This does not give me rights to anything from them except those things that they have maybe promised and committed to themselves.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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k2003
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 07:40

To me emotional ties means you have feelings tying you to another. So, you care for them, are concerned for their welfare and are interested in them, generally or deeply, depending on the level of emotional tie. If you are emotionally tied to someone, I would think you would be there for that person. If that tie is deep for you, you might be committed and exclusive, even if the other is not. I would say you don't have any obligation to the other and it doesn't give the other rights to someone from you, unless the emotional tie is more, such as an actual relationship.


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