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IS LOVE PAINFUL?? Sort by:
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newtaylormade
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Posted on Sat, Nov 15, 2008 17:00

I've been told recently that love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn't come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections, broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc. So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Thu, Nov 20, 2008 12:23

We have a way of associating things in our lives with other things and give them value this way. If you associate pain and hurt with love, then this is how you will view it. Love is a beautiful empowering emotion, that makes one vulnerable to feeling so many negative things if it goes wrong. It has taken me a long while but I do not view love as being the thing that I did wrong, but maybe more my choice of who I loved, or how I loved. For me it allows me to not be so scared to open my heart again and enjoy those wonderful feelings that love can bring.


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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luvu2licme4xs
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Posted on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 18:12

LOVE DOES NOT HURT, THINGS THAT TRANSPIRE WHILE WE ARE IN LOVE UNFORTUNATELY DOES HURT. LOVE, TRUE LOVE FEELS SO UNCONTROLLABLY GOOD, THAT IT DRAWS US INTO SEARCHING FOR IT AGAIN ONCE A RELATIONSHIP HAS EXPIRED. PERSONALLY, I DON'T REGRET ANYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH OR WHAT WE HAVE SHARED. LOVE SHOULD BE OUR MOST VALUED TREASURE AS HUMANS. WE SHOULD LOOK FOR IT, DESIRE IT AS WELL AS APPRECIATE IT, WHEN WE HAVE IT. WE TEND TO LOOK FOR EXCUSES FOR A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT BETTER TO BLAME IT ON THAN LOVE. I LOVED TOO MUCH OR I DIDN'T LOVE ENOUGH OR HE FOUND A BETTER LOVE, ITS ALL AN EXCUSE FOR WHAT REALLY HAPPENS TO BREAK UP TWO HEARTS. WE ALL ARE HUMAN AND DONT WANT TO FACE REALITY AT TIMES INCLUDING WHY LOVE, OR LACK OF IT TENDS TO HURT. I HOPE THIS IS HELPFUL TO YOU IN YOUR SEARCH, GOOD LUCK.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Sun, Nov 16, 2008 19:16

Of course, continued failures at love would cause anyone to re-evaluate. One would be ignorant NOT to take the opportunity to try to discern why these relationships fail. With "continued" failures, I would hope that one would look inward to find the answer. However, I still think LOVE is the most enduring.--True


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Posted on Sun, Nov 16, 2008 05:29

I think it's because we have nothing else to put it on. We do not want to blame fear, anxiety, (etc) on ourselves and where we tend to have these feelings is when we are or were in a relationship (or ending a relationship). It is also hard to blame it on someone else because the other person can talk for themselves and by putting all the UNWANTED feelings into something that can't say anything back, feels a bit better. We don't want to think we're incompetent or show we're weak. I think I made SOME sense. hehe.


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newtaylormade
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Posted on Sun, Nov 16, 2008 01:52

Quoting truefriendinme: Because in a relationship, a long term committment, it's supposed to be the two people "as one". They unite (in a marraige) "til death do [they] part." Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that you won't be angry with them, be betrayed and jealous or percieve those broken trusts as rejections, or even hate them at some point. In any long-term relationship, married or not, there WILL be the experience of many, if not most, of these feelings. But, of all those feelings, of all the emotions felt, the one that is most enduring is LOVE. Why do people forgive a partner's transgressions? Or even a friend, for that mattter? Because of the love shared between the two. Simple as that. --True

This is very true, however, when one has had one failed relationship after another ... does it not cause a person to reevalute the meaning of love.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Sat, Nov 15, 2008 20:10

Because in a relationship, a long term committment, it's supposed to be the two people "as one". They unite (in a marraige) "til death do [they] part." Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that you won't be angry with them, be betrayed and jealous or percieve those broken trusts as rejections, or even hate them at some point. In any long-term relationship, married or not, there WILL be the experience of many, if not most, of these feelings. But, of all those feelings, of all the emotions felt, the one that is most enduring is LOVE. Why do people forgive a partner's transgressions? Or even a friend, for that mattter? Because of the love shared between the two. Simple as that. --True


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