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bigtom77
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 04:56

Or I've finally just had enough. Those of you that were here when I was on before know the entire story of most of my adult life as it involved "her". I have come to know some nice people here and can't say enough good things about what being to post here and get real honest feedback from y'all means to me. I am happy yet sad at the same time to say that I am going to get over "her" this time. I did something today I never could after she first left, over 2 years that I couldn't even think about "our" song (More Than Words). Today I heard it on the radio and there was no tears, no sad feelings and I even love the song again. I no longer sit here wondering where she is and if she is thinking of me, I hope she is not. I guess the past nine months is just what I needed because I think I would have always wondered but now I know. This part is kinda weird I think but with the separation and divorce I know exactly how long she was gone (2 years 1 month and 8 days) this time it has been less than a month but I already can't tell you what day she left. I now know I will get over her and learn to go on without her. I am, of course, not ready to do so yet but I know it will happen. I know I will still have those days when it will hurt until I find someone to fill my heart again, but I know I can handle them, I know y'all will help me handle them. I want to thank all of you that have helped till now and those that will help when I have those days. I hope I can help you also when you too need help. Thanks much love and happy searching to you all.---Tom


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ozredhead62
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 21:45

Sometimes it takes going back to find out what was really there in the first place. I went back to one of my ex's 5 times, believed his I'm going to change story. I guess it took me that long to allow the dream/fantasy to dissolve and for me to see him/us as we really were. Well done Tom, you are on the first stages of healing, be confident that your future will be better for all the lessons that you have learned. xx


Life is only as wonderful as you think it is.

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butterbll
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 19:11

Tom, Thriving and doing well can be the best thing that that can be to show you Ex that you are over her.


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smoosh
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 19:05

So glad you have reached that place ..... sad that you had to journey back to get there but it was something you had to do. You know I'm here for you Tom - just an email/chat away.


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sparkles2002
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 06:18

Sometimes, its just the "right" time....I went back to my ex numerous times over a period of five years, each time thinking, this time, its going to work...I dont know how, but one day, it was almost like all of the glue had melted and every single tye had been cut....knew there would never be another time for going back or looking back and I have never felt so free! Good luck with that healing process, try not to pick at the old wounds and you wont be left with any scars;-)xx


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aimeefla
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Posted on Fri, Oct 03, 2008 05:28

{{{{ TOM }}}}}} The realization that you can and will survive is the biggest step in recovery. I've heard that if you take the length of the relationship, half it, that's how long it "usually" takes to get past the break up. My experience is that I have to play a part in that. I had to realize that it was both people that were responsible, I could not and should not take full responsibility for it happening. I've also learned that going back to find out for sure, was a healthy thing to do. Thinking "I should have" for years was destructive. Tom, you went back to find out. now you know and that's part of a more rapid recovery. Best of luck to you. Aimee aka Natalie


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