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Another AbzWayne Joke, so I dont feel guilty Sort by:
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AbzWayne
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Posted on Thu, Aug 14, 2008 02:24

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started..... My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started..... I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started... . A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Well your eyesight's damn near fcuking perfect.' And then the fight started.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Fri, Aug 15, 2008 05:58

lol Quadesh, never sweat the small stuff, right? I love that Scot, though he ignores me. There's that glutton for punishment thing again. lol


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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stannosstacey
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Posted on Thu, Aug 14, 2008 16:14

Very funny!!!! Thanks!


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Thu, Aug 14, 2008 10:51

ABZ YOU NAUGHTY SCOT YOU STOLE MY JOKES! ;-) p.s. talk dirty to me. lol


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Qadesh
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Posted on Thu, Aug 14, 2008 05:46

Amuseme has already put out these jokes, so the only thing I can say is then the fight started....lol I'm sure she won't let this ruffle her feathers, as imitation is the highest form of flattery!! Qadesh


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