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nodramaaroundme
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Posted on Sun, Apr 06, 2008 18:31

What is it about me that is so unappealing I cannot find or keep a man? I don't usually ask this question, but I've been trying to reevaluate my life. I must admit that because I loved my job, a lot of my world revolved around it. I guess that's why it seems everywhere I turn, it's a reminder of what use to be and I'm trying so very hard to live it the present, welcoming the future. But that's getting off subject. Now that the job isn't a big infrequence it seems that I'm more focused on the love life. It's strange how whether online or in person guys will say, "Oh, I'm just looking for friends," yet if they do not find you attractive, it is no longer a reason to talk to you. A lot of the times it feels that if they (men) don't have a use (whatever it is) for you there is no reason to keep you around. So I guess my question really should be, "What is it about me that guys feel is so useless to them?" Ok, let's take the job thing out of the equation since that's temporary (hell, I've been working since high school nonstop until now). That being said I support myself, any luxury I have I've worked hard to get buy, make or fix it; all with enjoyment and completing my goal in mind. I'm strong and independent but very supportive of everyone around me. If I climbed a mountain I would trail a rope behind me to help those that follow. Is that a weakness? "You're too good for me." How many times have I heard that? If I was a different person it would go to my head. I use to think...oh that's just BS, but I heard Dr. Phil say one day...if a guy tells you that, believe him, he knows himself better than you do. It makes since to me now, especially since some of those same guys turned around and treated the next girlfriend like crap (or worse). It could be they were doing me a favor by walking away. It still hurts no matter how you cut it. So is the question really, "Why am I picking such low quality guys?" I know relationships are about more than having someone to dance in a light, summer rain. I know it?s more than that gentle, welcome home hug and kiss. As a good listener I am ready for the challenge. So I'm going to say the real question might be, "Where are the men, the real men that can handle a mature woman that has so much to offer?"

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Posted on Wed, Apr 23, 2008 05:21

I understand how you feel, thinking you're so unappealing. I feel exactly the same about myself. I struggle to get any interest at all, and when every few months I might get one wink from the huge number of dating sites I belong to, they don't bother replying to me if I write to them. I know why they dislike me but I find it incredibly shallow. I won't get into the reasons here - Anyway, this blog is supposed to be more about you and not me! Sorry! I just wanted to say that it's the same for others too, you aren't alone in how you feel.

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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Apr 21, 2008 07:35

Nodrama: We have to believe that one day we will find someone with whom we can share life. Right now, we have to focus on ourselves and try to make ourselves as healthy as possible, so that when the day comes, we will be able to share in the relationship as equals. Personally, I do not want a relationship in which I feel like I have to prove myself, ever again. I do not want a man who thinks I am not good enough for him, or that what I have to offer isn't what he wants or needs. If there is something "wrong" with me, then there is something wrong with HIM! I've found that I need to REALLY focus on trust. Being abandoned and cast aside like yesterday's paper has had a tremendous effect upon my self-worth. I have a terrible time trusting men, in general-- even if they are just taking my order at Taco Bell! So, I think to try to overcome this deep fear of rejection, I need to work on ME, and to make myself as happy WITH MYSELF as I can. When the day comes, (or the man-- so to speak) I hope that I will be able to trust him as he is ( and he will trust me, in turn), or he will be strong enough to see that I need time and patience, to trust him with my heart.


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butterbll
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Posted on Sat, Apr 19, 2008 16:14

I feel your pain. Hey nodaram sounds like you could use a real big hug. I have the same problem. Only they join a convent or run screaming like the devil was after them.after the First chat with them .Hang in there.


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Tue, Apr 08, 2008 17:39

Keep your head up and the right man will come to you. You have so much to offer in your experience, wisdom, outlook and beauty in and out.....you will find him. God Bless!


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Posted on Tue, Apr 08, 2008 13:31

ND, Its simple, they are not the right men for you !! The right man will not leave, he will want to be with you always. Keep that chin up and that show those pearly whites in every smile :-) Nat


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ENCHANTEDKISS
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Posted on Sun, Apr 06, 2008 20:48

Sweetie, you are an independent beautiful woman and some men can't handle this. I read the cutest thing today it's call a lesson in bitchology: Babe In Total Control of Herself Beautiful Individual That Can Handle Herself and last but not at all least: Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Hell of a Woman When you least expect it that man will be at your door or screen. Just believe....


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