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No or Little Baggage - HUH?? Sort by:
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Posted on Sat, Jan 12, 2008 08:12

I am reading profiles and I see this over and over, male profiles, "...no or little baggage" I think I know what they mean. They don't want someone that's hung up on any past relationship, no children dependent on them, no elderly relatives dependent on them, no medical issues, etc.. I don't think there is such a person over the age of 12. We live, we get involved with life, we carry our past with us. Not all of our past equates to the "baggage" in our lives. However, we are what we've lived, this is part of who we are today. Why do these men kid themselves, then I would think they might complain about not finding anyone without baggage. ( just an assumption) I've not read many female profiles, do some of them want "no baggage"? I'm just a realist and it gets frustrating at times to think that anyone can really believe that "no baggage" is reality. [shrugging as I walk away knowing that these guys are not ready to look for a real relationship, they're just playing for now }


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lusciouslubelle
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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 12:09

I agree with you 100%. It seems that these men are immature and live in their own little dreamland. I wonder how many issues they truly have? lol Let them be players and live alone in their unrealistic world.


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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 06:12

Biig, Yes I do agree with you, it's on open wound that we've not excepted or dealt with as yet. That's only part, in my opinion, of baggage Albeit it is the upper crust of the baggage and it needs attention. Not on a first date, but then you know just what is in store and you can either RUN or deal. I also think that on a first date if you're unloading that person might still need to do more soul searching. I also feel that some baggage is just ours and it makes us who we are, no need to unload it, just wear it. Nat Re: biigbiirdy write: I think the important thing is how you interpret "baggage" Chances are everyone over the age of about 15 these days has some emotional "battle scars". It's part of life, it's how we learn about ourselves and others, and it's what makes us who we are. For me, (and I realise others may disagree), BAGGAGE is when they are still open wounds and are still having a daily and negative influence on someone. When it all comes pouring out at a first date or even in an early "getting to know you" type conversation. So under those circumstances, I'm not keen to get involved with someone with lots of baggage ..... but I don't have a problem with them having had a life!


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smoosh
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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 06:00

"Baggage" definitely gets in the way and gets tripped over, mulled over, re-hashed but it makes us who we are today. Baggage can be considered "positive" and negative. In the broad sense of things - I am not alone - I have children and family therefore there is always someone to "talk/care and worry about".All the comments are so valid about keeping it in check, learning from it and trying not to have it as an obstacle to moving forward. You cannot live life without experiencing and the more you live - the more baggage you have with children, family and relationships...if you have zero baggage then you haven't experienced life or you are perfect or think you are. I think my baggage gets shared with those who are close to me or have known me for a long time so they know my life line and some of my experiences. I am a "package" and I come with Baggage because I choose to life live.


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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 04:43

I think the important thing is how you interpret "baggage" Chances are everyone over the age of about 15 these days has some emotional "battle scars". It's part of life, it's how we learn about ourselves and others, and it's what makes us who we are. For me, (and I realise others may disagree), BAGGAGE is when they are still open wounds and are still having a daily and negative influence on someone. When it all comes pouring out at a first date or even in an early "getting to know you" type conversation. So under those circumstances, I'm not keen to get involved with someone with lots of baggage ..... but I don't have a problem with them having had a life!


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 00:21

Re: bluegirl2006 write: AMEN!!!!! I come with kids (although they are grown), I come with a mother I am responsible for. But more importantly I have a TON of EMOTIONAL baggage from a childhood that was less than perfect and a marriage that was also less than perfect. Most of the time it is not visible. Its hidden away in a locked closet. But every once in awhile that closet gets too full and it appears and I can't quite shove it back in. My baggage is blue. The first time it appeared to my boyfriend's view I apologized for it. He told me not to shove it in the back of the closet. He said I sometimes need to air it out so it doesn't get all moldy and cause the things around it to rot. And that anytime I wanted to air it out he would be there to help. He would be my brick wall to lean against so I don't fall. Now THAT fellas, is a MAN!! No wonder I'm truly, madly, and deeply in love with him. :)

Yes, Blue, that is a real man. Stanno is the same way with me. He isn't scared of my insecurities and wants me to be vulnerable with him and lean on him. He doesn't run away scared when I cry, he stays and holds me and listens to me. And that is a real man!


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bigtom77
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Posted on Sat, Jan 12, 2008 22:23

I think your parting comment is exactly right. These men are not serious about things, or they are aware that everyone has baggage and are just wanting someone that won't bring these things into a new relationship. Then again it's not a relationship then is it, your right it's just playing. I have not seen or noticed any women that have that on their profile, maybe women are more realistic then men are. I'm sure they are most of us live in our own little world don't we.


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butterbll
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Posted on Sat, Jan 12, 2008 15:01

If the past is Our "Baggage" , If we do not remember it. We will be doomed to make the same mistakes over , and over , and over. Embrace your baggage,But put It away where you are not tripping over it.


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Sat, Jan 12, 2008 13:55

AMEN!!!!! I come with kids (although they are grown), I come with a mother I am responsible for. But more importantly I have a TON of EMOTIONAL baggage from a childhood that was less than perfect and a marriage that was also less than perfect. Most of the time it is not visible. Its hidden away in a locked closet. But every once in awhile that closet gets too full and it appears and I can't quite shove it back in. My baggage is blue. The first time it appeared to my boyfriend's view I apologized for it. He told me not to shove it in the back of the closet. He said I sometimes need to air it out so it doesn't get all moldy and cause the things around it to rot. And that anytime I wanted to air it out he would be there to help. He would be my brick wall to lean against so I don't fall. Now THAT fellas, is a MAN!! No wonder I'm truly, madly, and deeply in love with him. :)


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