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happyinportland
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Posted on Fri, Jun 09, 2006 11:19

Do you remember when opening doors, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman walks into the room was common place. Whatever happen to chivalry? I know its hard to imagine, but I believe it just wasn?t a southern thing. I have realized that maybe getting back to the roots of love will make me a better man. Hell at the least I will have a better understanding, of what it was that made men so debonaire. I know that we can?t go back into time, but I do believe we can bring time forward. It doesn?t take a lot to call all females ?Ladies?, order for both when in a restaurant, or for that matter pick up the tab. Always ask never tell, directives get you nothing but another directive telling you where to go (Usually to hell !!!!). I?m not a Dr Phil just a man trying to enlighten us men on love, romance, and a long term relationship. This is what we want right? You don?t have to put on a polyester suit and a top hat. Just be generous and open hearted. For all the love that is squandered, I will be there to pick it up!!!!


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happyinportland
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Posted on Fri, Jul 14, 2006 09:13

Common courtesy is a must. We can't go through life always exspecting recieve it but never give it out. But when it comes to chivalry, It's about the atittude you carry about yourself. Most not just some men are so caught up in everything else we don't see the writing on the wall, that says do the small things they're more noticable.


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soxy
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Posted on Mon, Jul 10, 2006 19:41

It isnt just chivalry tho, its general respect for each other! respect has been lost compared to what it used to be, it isnt just men opening doors etc, its respecting ones elders, holding the door open for an elderly person, offering to carry some1s bags, saying thankyou and please. all these things cost nothing, but sometimes it is and feels easier asking for a pint of some1s blood!! Yes its great to be treated as a woman, but its even better to be treated with respect! from everyone, from the young to the old. As my mother used to say, treat others how u wud like to be treated yourself!! and not a truer word said!!!


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MagicMelodia
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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 17:14

I found where chivalry has been hiding! It was at a rennaissance event that I went to - figures I'd have to go back a few hundred years, lol! Really though, while I have found a few true gentlemen, they are few and far between (and usually taken). One incident really sticks out in my mind. A few years ago my pickup truck broke down and I was pushing it down the road (in heels and skirt no less), a car full of young guys came up, slowed down and just watched me push!!! I'm sure that if I had been 5'2 and 100lbs they would have stopped. I think the sight of a 5'11 260lb BBW pushing a pickup truck scared them silly. I help folks out as often as I can, whether they are male, female, old, young - whatever. Sometimes taking a few minutes out of your day to help someone means the world to that person. Keeping doing what you do SirHansumransum and I'm sure that you will meet your Lady Fair. Best of luck to you, Melodia


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Posted on Thu, Jun 15, 2006 19:58

I applaude you Sirhansumransom! I appreciate chivalry very much. When I am with a man who demonstrates this type of behavior I am more inclined to enjoy our time together. I think that sometimes people (both men and women) are to quick to pass up on the whole chivalry issue because it has become to easy now-a-days to be rude in the guise of treating everyone equally. I want to be with someone who will make an effort to appreciate me. I know that I try to make this effort as well. That is respect. Politeness is a talent that is beautiful, inspiring and can be romantic. It does not hide the truth, instead it offers a conduit for mutual respect. That is why I think chivalry goes both ways. It offers a delightful opportunity to show your fellow human being respect in a kind and gentle way which seems to be over-looked in our present day society. It is these type of qualities that I look for in anyone. Thank you for your post, I am with you and would accept your chivalry any day!


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jjiggl
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Posted on Thu, Jun 15, 2006 15:38

I agree with you, naturalremedy. Donna Reed and June Cleaver made those days look so nice. Lucille Ball made it look like alot of fun.


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jjiggl
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Posted on Thu, Jun 15, 2006 15:29

The original reasons for chivalry may have been because men thought that women were inferior, but nowadays, I think that chivalrous men are this way because it shows respect for women. They know that the woman who they are being chivalrous to can order for herself, open her own door, etc., but I think that being chivalrous is a man's way of telling a woman that he can wait until she is through the door, that he can wait until she is sitting comfortably, that he is willing to see that her needs are met before his are. I believe that when a man acts in this manner, he is demonstrating that he can and wants to handle the woman well. I am always impressed when I see a man act in this manner. Because I know that when it is done, it is done out of respect, I always make sure that I show my appreciation by smiling and looking at him to say "thank you".


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allisoninchains
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Posted on Wed, Jun 14, 2006 22:51

I love it for a man to show that he cares enough to think about me and open up doors and things of that nature. I know what I am capable of, but it is also nice to be appreciated. I was married for 21 years and had to do everything for myself. For it, I am a stronger woman, but it is nice to have someone show you some caring and repect. And that is the way they should be treated back.


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samthebear
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Posted on Wed, Jun 14, 2006 21:23

There is a big conflict with this true chivalry/olde-world charm, and social equality that is really making it hard. This is due to the fact that these two ideas are opposed to one another. True chivalry, as in Europe, is based on the belief that women are our inferiors and can't do anything for themselves. Take Victorian society for example (this is the era many people think had the best of manners), women were not allowed to go out by themselves and needed to have permission if they ever wanted to speak. My meaning of the word is one that means respect. The more you give to one side the more you take from the other. If you want equality give up chivalry and if you want chivalry give up equality. Hope that made some sense to you.


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Posted on Wed, Jun 14, 2006 10:41

I sure know what you're talking about. I always try to act Gentlemanly and hold doors, let women go first, Be as polite as possible. I think that in the last 10 or 20 years, society has gotten much lazier about simple acts of mannerism. Sure, in the 70's and 80's women were, at times, a bit militant about equality but that's no excuse for not being a Gentleman. When I was younger, my Father taught me to be very respectful of women. Maybe that's another issue, people just aren't educating their kids. Women do need equality but that equality shouldn't be detrimental to good manners.


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blue_eyes05
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Posted on Tue, Jun 13, 2006 03:39

Someone needs to teach the men here some of that olde-world charm! As far as I can see, it's dead (unfortunately)! Top tips... hopefully the men out there take heed and listen up!


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happyinportland
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Posted on Mon, Jun 12, 2006 01:24

See this is what im talking about, someone is actually listening......


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Posted on Sun, Jun 11, 2006 15:29

Their are gentile men around... they just have different rules now. Men now ask if you need help instead of assume. They pay the whole tab only if a woman doesn't indicate their splitting it when the servers hand over the bill. Men hold open the door if a woman's hands are full or they are actually going out someplace together. The rules are different and take the ability to read a woman's body language and to read into situations as they occur so some men don't do very well and even give up on chivalry... others don't, they actually manage to follow the rules well and we appreciate it. As for the guys that don't do well... We appreciate that you try, that's all that counts so don't give up. Chivalry will get you somewhere.


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