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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Fri, Dec 14, 2007 20:07

Ok, I think I've aged another 10 years...I can feel the gray hair growing in quickly. lol Not only was I sick Wednesday and had to stay home from work (though I felt like crap I was really glad not to be a work with all the crap going on there)....but then I got a call about 4pm saying that my Mom had passed out at work and they admitted her to the hospital. The good thing is that she's out now but they did find a heart problem so now we're waiting to find out how bad it is. (I'm praying it's nothing major) So my point for this blog is to say that, though I'm not a religeous person...I am a Christian and I've been doing a lot of praying lately. I've definitely got more than I can handle. I've gone back to the same prayer that I've said a few times in my life when things were unbearable and I felt like I would crumble to pieces.... "God, I can't handle all of this. It's too much to bear. I'm giving you my troubles and I trust you to help me through them. I can't and I don't want to do it it alone. Please help me." And you know what? No miracle happens...but somehow it becomes bearable. And that's how I've survived through some horrible tragedies. The point is not to be sad but to know that you're not alone. That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Ok, so I didn't really mean to get so personal but I felt I needed to share. When all else fails, I resort to music. Here's my favorite song by Jars of Clay. The words in print don't make quite the impact the song itself does but I thought I'd share anyway. Worlds Apart I am the only one to blame for this Somehow it all adds up the same Soaring on the wings of selfish pride I flew too high and like Icarus I collide With a world I try so hard to leave behind To rid myself of all but love to give and die To turn away and not become Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves more deeply than the oceans, more abundant than the tear Of a world embracing every heartache Can I be the one to sacrifice Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow To love you - take my world apart To need you - I am on my knees To love you - take my world apart To need you - broken on my knees All said and done I stand alone Amongst remains of a life I should not own It takes all I am to believe In the mercy that covers me Did you really have to die for me? All I am for all you are Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart I look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost and wipe away the crimson stains and dullen nails that still remains. More and more I need you now, I owe you more each passing hour the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago So steal my heart and take the pain and wash the feet and cleanse my pride take the selfish, take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears the sin-soaked heart and make it yours take my world all apart take it now, take it now and serve the ones that I despise speak the words I can't deny watch the world I used to love fall to dust and thrown away I look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost so wipe away the crimson stains and dullen nails that still remains so steal my heart and take the pain take the selfish, take the weak and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears take my world apart, take my world apart I pray, I pray, I pray take my world apart Written by Jars of Clay Copyright ? 1995 BridgeBuilding Music (BMI)/ Pogostick Music (BMI). All rights reserved.


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ninamb50
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Posted on Mon, Jan 07, 2008 09:04

I just signed up today. I read your blog and it's the best thing that could have happened to me. Your prayer and the words to the song has brought me out of my funk. I love God but always have a hard time praying. I never know what to say. Do you mind if I use your prayers.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 14:39

WOW. Just saw this Mel. I hope you've got a diagnosis and a second opinion to go along with it by now. I hope your mother gets well, soon.


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 13:46

Melissa, your daughter is absolutely beautiful. You are so lucky!


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 18:04

Re: LegalEagle224 write: Here's one of the new christmas pictures...how can I not enjoy her?

Melissa - She's beautiful!!!!


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 17:31

Re: Katwoman1968 write: I will say some prayers for your mom Melissa. Take care

Thank you Kat, I am too. :) Melissa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 17:31

Re: truefriendinme write: I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I do hope it gets a little more bearable for you. Try to enjoy a little of the holiday. Across the miles... Hugs...TRUE

Thanks True, actually it has gotten better (bearable). Thanks for your support. :) Melissa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 17:27

Re: wyldechild write: Tom wrote "Does a miracle have to be something huge that all can see. Maybe the miracle is the unbearable becoming bearable." How simple yet so meaningful. Often it is easy to let the difficulties of life get us down. To find even one small thing that is good in a sad time can make all the difference. Be well and enjoy your daughter and your life. And strength to your mother to get through her health challenges as well.

Thank you Wylde, I really liked Tom's point as well. Very nicely said. Miracles have definitely taken place in my life. Enjoy your holidays as well. I know I intend to. Here's one of the new christmas pictures...how can I not enjoy her?

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Katwoman1968
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 12:08

I will say some prayers for your mom Melissa. Take care


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 06:20

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I do hope it gets a little more bearable for you. Try to enjoy a little of the holiday. Across the miles... Hugs...TRUE


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wyldechild
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 19:21

Tom wrote "Does a miracle have to be something huge that all can see. Maybe the miracle is the unbearable becoming bearable." How simple yet so meaningful. Often it is easy to let the difficulties of life get us down. To find even one small thing that is good in a sad time can make all the difference. Be well and enjoy your daughter and your life. And strength to your mother to get through her health challenges as well.


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 17:33

Re: nodramaaroundme write: Legal, I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. You can use my shoulder to cry on anytime you need it. I will keep you and your mother in my prayers.

Thank you NoDrama, you're very sweet. I certainly won't forget when I need one. Hopefully I won't need one for a long time (nothing personal). :) Melissa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 17:31

Re: stannosstacey write: Melissa - Keep us updated on your mom, I pray that it isn't anything serious and I also pray for peace and calmness for yourself. Prayer is amazing and God is wonderful. He will see you through this.

Thanks Stacey, I will. I don't know if I'm calm but I've found a little peace. hehe Melissa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 17:30

Re: Nisi32132 write: Hi Melissa, I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers. Like tom said, miracles are small. Your Mom was a work, so she got quick action to get her to the hospital. She was released, another good thing, as she had to be stable enough to be released. Heart issues are vast and it's up to the tests to indicate which it was. I can see several miracles that occurred already. Once the fear washes off, you will see them. HUGS and call whenever you need to. Nat

Thank you Nat. My head sees that good things did come out of this but my heart feels like it's been run over. lol The fear's finally gone so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Oh, I did have fun at the Christmas party and I hope to say good riddence to 2007 with a bang (well maybe not literally but one can always hope **WEG** lol J/K) this year. Take care! Melissa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 17:25

Re: ContentedBliss write: Hi Melissa I've been there - where you are - and from one sister to another - know that you and your mom are in my prayers. Sometimes it just helps to know that you are not alone, and that there are others who care. Jars of Clay have some excellent music - they are one of my favourites too. I find that music chases the sadness of the trials of life away. If I surround myself with beautiful, uplifting, positive music, that reminds me who I am in Him, and most of all, that I am special and dearly loved by Him - that He holds me close to his heart - in the safest of places.... all is well. I wish for you peace and rest in the midst of your struggles. Blessings, Contentment

I'm very into music as well. I guess it's part of the poet/artist in me. Well, though I didn't get rest this weekend (my insomia's in full swing) I did get some peace, so thank you! Melisssa


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 17:22

Re: bigtom77 write: I will be praying for your mom also but want to ask you this. Does a miracle have to be something huge that all can see. Maybe the miracle is the unbearable becoming bearable. I am not trying to engage anyone in a religous decussion just asking you to think about. " For to be carnally (sinful) minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." Rom.8:6 I'm thinking your miracle is your peace of mind.---Praying your mom and your life get better, Tom

You're quite right Tom, miracles come in all sizes and forms. As Nat said, the fear has worn off and now I can see the miracles that have already happened. It wasn't my Mom's time (but it's heart-breaking to think that one day it will). Shirley and I spent Sat. decorating the inside of the house, the tree, and baking cookies. It's been a very nice weekend for the most part so that's a miracle in itself. God has definitely taken care of me. Thank you for the words of wisdom! Melissa


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nodramaaroundme
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Posted on Sat, Dec 15, 2007 15:24

Legal, I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. You can use my shoulder to cry on anytime you need it. I will keep you and your mother in my prayers.


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sat, Dec 15, 2007 09:48

Melissa - Keep us updated on your mom, I pray that it isn't anything serious and I also pray for peace and calmness for yourself. Prayer is amazing and God is wonderful. He will see you through this.


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Posted on Sat, Dec 15, 2007 06:41

Hi Melissa, I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers. Like tom said, miracles are small. Your Mom was a work, so she got quick action to get her to the hospital. She was released, another good thing, as she had to be stable enough to be released. Heart issues are vast and it's up to the tests to indicate which it was. I can see several miracles that occurred already. Once the fear washes off, you will see them. HUGS and call whenever you need to. Nat


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Posted on Fri, Dec 14, 2007 21:51

Hi Melissa I've been there - where you are - and from one sister to another - know that you and your mom are in my prayers. Sometimes it just helps to know that you are not alone, and that there are others who care. Jars of Clay have some excellent music - they are one of my favourites too. I find that music chases the sadness of the trials of life away. If I surround myself with beautiful, uplifting, positive music, that reminds me who I am in Him, and most of all, that I am special and dearly loved by Him - that He holds me close to his heart - in the safest of places.... all is well. I wish for you peace and rest in the midst of your struggles. Blessings, Contentment


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