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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Dec 10, 2007 18:39

If this happened to you: You began communicating with someone, and actually made definitive plans to meet that person. On the day (or the day before meeting that person), they stopped ALL communication. He would not return emails, did not call...nothing, nada. After a day or so of failed attempts to communicate (minimal, mind you, I did not want to seem like a freak or stalker!) with that person, I "wrote them off", no longer emailing, didn't call. And then, out of the blue, about two months later, he sends an e-mail/wink, asking me to call. WIERD! MY QUESTIONS ARE: 1) Would you call? 2)If so, WHY? 3)Would you wait until he contacted you again? See, I didn't call. I e-mailed and (mistakenly--honestly) told him I no longer had the number. I also said he had been rude (to not respond to my emails or calls) and that I thought it best we talk a bit via e-mail, first, so no one would get hurt if tings went awry in a phone conversation. AFTER emailing this, I found the number later, in my old phone--I had kept the phone for a "phone book" of sorts--it's really nice. Just looking to see what is considered "acceptable" or the "norm" for these things. I don't want to seem like an unforgiving B****, yet, it could be he just wants to say he really didn't like me after all, and just decided to finally TELL me. What would YOU do? Insight from more experienced "daters" would be greatly appreciated!


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butterdragon
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Posted on Sun, Jan 13, 2008 12:53

I agree with Biig Birdy ,run-don't leave a forwarding address.Someone who treats you like that has no concerns for your feelings.Find someone who respects your feelings and you as a person.Life's to short to play games.


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Posted on Wed, Dec 19, 2007 01:58

RUN AWAY! Seriously, I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it - sounds like it would give you more pain than it would give you pleasure!


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 19:56

Well, guys...I'm going with the majority, here. Ummm, and technically the minority didn't even bother showing up! (LOL!) I haven't heard a peep since Friday, and I suppose that's to be expected, given his history, but also my cold shoulder. Oh well. I'm not feeling any great loss, as I have other things "on the brain" right now. Too bad. Good luck to him, and good luck to us ALL!!!


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butterbll
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Posted on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 19:48

Hate to say it but kick him to the curb. He had his chance not once but twice.He blew it. leave the Dweeb at the curb with the trash. well my .02 worth


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wyldechild
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 18:28

I would recommend just letting it go. I have come across folk many times that are quite comfortable with email, phone, texting, etc. but when it comes down to the real deal cannot follow through. Be it cold feet, insecurities, not interested, players, etc. I'm sure there are a host of other reasons as well but do not allow yourself to think it's you. And be very careful if you speak with him again in case he tries to pull some lame "poor me" routine or tries to make you feel guilty. If he does, bail!!!


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 18:19

Life ain't baseball honey. Two strikes and he's out. That doesn't make you unforgiving. And as awful as it may sound to say this - you are young and have energetic young children. At this point in your life I doubt it would be a good idea to get involved with someone that appears to physically need caring for if he is frequently unable to get around due to pain. I think you've got enough on your plate with your kids and your job. It would be better for you to find someone who might actually be able to lend you a hand as well as a shoulder to lean on.


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butterbll
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 17:28

Sounds like you need a hug(truefriendinme)Know that there are those out here who care.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Mon, Dec 17, 2007 06:10

Well, guys, I guess my good nature got the best of me...again. I decided to give him another chance, so we started talking again, albeit via texting. A few e-mails. Then decided to meet, as the last one never took place. Well, once again, something happened and he couldn't make it. Of course, when I expressed my "disappointment", he told me (and I quote) "I'm sorry you don't understand". Well, now isn't that funny? And then he wanted to meet me at work, I guess in an effort to make it up to me. I declined, of course, it was more trouble than it was worth to do that. It was all pretty upsetting, seeing as how that same day, I had to return the few gifts I had purchased for my sons, because I can't afford to buy gifts year. Crying at the return counter and all. Gheez-- can't a girl get a break???!!! He has some issues right now that cause him pain with continued movement. And he is working. Of course all of this is speculation, as I have never met him-- only talked via phone, text and email. However, what bugged me about the whole situation is that I made sure I arranged my schedule (AGAIN) to be off, rested and had all my errands done, so I could be able to devote time to him. I just don't see why this wasn't done to reciprocate. Maybe his schedule isn't as accomodating as mine, maybe the discomfort was all last minute. I don't know. But it just seems NOT meant to be, to be cancelled out upon TWICE. Am I doing the wrong thing? My gut tells me not to bother with him. But my conscience tells me I might be being "mean" and "unforgiving"? What do you think?


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Suzieq22
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Posted on Wed, Dec 12, 2007 00:13

I'd say either he got cold feet, or he's playing mind games with you? Maybe he's married and decided not to go through with a cheating plan..


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 23:24

Legaleagle---I LOVE that new picture. LOVE IT! Can we se the whole dress? It looks gorgeous from what little is in the picture.


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LonelyInFL Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 19:00

Re: butterbll write: I hate to say that has happened to me here on this site.There has been several ladies whom I have chatted to for several chat sessions. The chat sessions were great then NOTHING.(See my blog Brutal Honesty.)I have to say my Honesty at times can be my worst enemy. I call it like I see It . It has gotten me in trouble , but at least you know that I am not trying to be dishonest.To me ending a relationship should be like removing a bandaid .It is going to hurt any way. I feel it is better to quickly get it over.

I've been the too. Every situation is different. I think I would ask why...and then if I don't get a good "vibe" then I'd end it.


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smoosh
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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 14:26

Hi True, Ask him why - you have nothing to lose - you decide if it's acceptable , honest and how to respond. I have no idea why it happens but it does - always wonder if they made another choice that didn't work out so going back to their black book ( of course this works both ways - women and men ) I would prefer a "no longer interested" response instead of none. I have had the no response and would rather face the brutal honesty. Good Luck!


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butterbll
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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 09:34

I hate to say that has happened to me here on this site.There has been several ladies whom I have chatted to for several chat sessions. The chat sessions were great then NOTHING.(See my blog Brutal Honesty.)I have to say my Honesty at times can be my worst enemy. I call it like I see It . It has gotten me in trouble , but at least you know that I am not trying to be dishonest.To me ending a relationship should be like removing a bandaid .It is going to hurt any way. I feel it is better to quickly get it over.


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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 05:15

This has happened to me, I went out with a guy, we seemed to hit it off before the date. Phone calls, emails. after the date all things fizzled out. Then a month later I get an IM saying he missed me. Duh. He was not from this website, I asked him why the silence. All he said was he was sorry for doing that to me. I don't get and I decided that it was not worth pursuing a relationship with him. Tom might be right though, something could have happened. Ask him up front, why, listen to the answer and then decide what YOU want to do about it. How do you feel about this guy? There could be many different reasons for things. I hope you find the answers you're looking for.


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Tue, Dec 11, 2007 04:48

You kept the lines of communication open thereby giving him the opportunity to explain what happened previously - just in case there MIGHT have been a legitimate reason for what happened. And you let him know that you did not approve of it showing you aren't prepared to be treated poorly. Both of these are great things and I think a very good way to handle this situation. My question for you is what if he comes back and tells you he got cold feet that first time? How will you respond then?


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bigtom77
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Posted on Mon, Dec 10, 2007 23:04

I think you are right that you should email for a while frist but while saying this, listen to the man it could be that he has a good reason for doing what he did. Could even be that he was in a accident or something and just couldn't email or call. I know this kinda thing is a long shot but could just be. However, if you have seen that he has been on the computer all this time just not talking to you, well i guess just disreguard the above note.good luck on your decission on this.


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