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LonelyInFL
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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2007 19:39

Hi everyone! I'm back from vacation and boy was it way too short. I had a great time. I went to DC to see my uncle Max (who I adore) and we went to the Smithsonian to see the Museum of Natural History. That was great but everything there is reflective so my pictures came out crappy. :( Then we drove into the mountains to see more family. I was disappointed because it didn't look like it would be cold enough to snow. But boy were we wrong. We drove up to Mountain Lake and it was snowing up there. It was magical...and freezing. It was 24 with the windchill (and I thought that was cold). It was 15 degrees when I woke up Saturday morning. Brrrrrr!!! hehe I couldn't have been happier. My mom insisted we drive home Sat. so we got in about 9:45pm last night. We weren't supposed to come back until Monday. My mom said she'd done what she needed to do and she was ready to go home...so we did. I'm really trying not to be bitter about her cutting the trip short but I really am upset about it. She'd done what she needed to do but what about me? I still have unfinished business. I don't know how else to explain it. I had a great time and I wouldn't trade it for the world....but I feel like something's missing. I wish I could just stay there forever because it feels like home...and now that I'm back I feel kind of empty. The trip was kind of bittersweet. I don't understand why I feel this way...I just do. I guess I'm hurting to some extent and I don't know how to fix it because I don't know why. Sometimes I wish I weren't so damn emotional and/or sensitive. Figuring myself out is like doing a jigsaw puzzle sometimes. lol I didn't mean for this post to turn out sad in the end but this is the only place I can truly say how I feel in my heart. Anyway, I had a great time and I hope everyone else enjoyed the holiday....next comes Christmas (I haven't even started shopping yet) Melissa


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Mon, Nov 26, 2007 19:07

Re: LegalEagle224 write: I booked a plane ticket back up there for my birthday.

Now that's what I call taking charge of your destiny. I'm so PROUD of you for doing what it takes to see that your needs are met instead of dwelling on what might have been. Better be careful or you just might inspire the lot of us!! You go girl!! :)


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LonelyInFL
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Posted on Mon, Nov 26, 2007 17:10

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's nice to hear that I'm not being unreasonable. As a matter of fact, I booked a plane ticket back up there for my birthday. I won't have time to go back into the mountains but at least I'll have plenty of time with my Uncle Max and to explore a bit. Next time I go up there for a longer vacation I'll do it by myself so that I can figure out what I need. I know that part of the problem is that my last 2 living relatives up there are both in their 80s and their health is declining. I want to try and spend as much time with them as possible while I still can. I'll be devastated when they pass so I am trying to find some closure...no regrets. I know, easier said than done. I feel better about things today (I'm not so mad at my Mom). But I still feel empty...or incomplete. Maybe there's another reason I'm meant to be there. I don't know. All I know is that I'm done dwelling on it. Work will definitely push these worries away, at least for now. Thank you all for your caring thoughts and words of wisdom. Eventually I'll find what my heart's searching for. ((((Group Hug)))) :) Melissa


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Posted on Mon, Nov 26, 2007 07:17

Welcome BACK !!!! Glad to see you here again, you were missed !!! Nisi32132


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2007 22:45

Melissa - I know how you feel about your vacation and having to do it according to someone else's schedule. All my vacations have been with a good friend that travels with me or with my brothers and although it was great and fun it was according to someone else's schedule. For example, I would want to spend more time on the beach and everyone else wanted to go shopping. And afterwards even though I loved the trip I felt like I didn't get the vacation I wanted. Last March I went to Hawaii with my brothers and I realized I don't take time out for myself. I promised myself that the next vacation would be for me. I was tired of always feeling lacking after a trip. I think you need to do the same. Take a trip for yourself even if it is a weekend trip. I am happy to say that I am finally getting the trip without the obligations of family or friends here in 3 weeks when I go to England.


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truefriendinme
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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2007 20:00

Hey, girl. I know how you feel. COMPLETELY! I've been so melancholy and blue, all this week. Don't feel alone-- because you're not. go back to work tomorrow, and I am hoping it will pull me out of this hole I'm in. We will feel better once we get back to life. Taking a vacaton, or having "alone" time (my kids were at their father's and don't come back till next week) can be very disheartening-- it almost forces us to be alone with our feelings without the stress of everyday life. Without all the stressors taking our attention, we have the time to focus on things that we tend to put on the back burner: Family. Right now, I miss mine. You probably do, too. It'll get better. I promise.


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smoosh
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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2007 19:47

Hi Melissa, It's hard to do what others want and expect of you.... I'm glad you had a good time even though you didn't get to complete your wants ...happens with my Mom too. Can you swing a holiday on your own and be selfish and do what you want? I hope so cause it's important to take time for you. Holiday time is hard enough without the added disappointment of something left undone or unsaid. Hope you are able to take some time.


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SweetCicely
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Posted on Sun, Nov 25, 2007 19:45

Hey Mel! I feel that way around holidays, too, especially if the holiday promises, at first , to recapture some of the thrill that holidays did when we were kids. I wonder if that's it. With the snow and family you love and then to be brought back to reality with a very business-like reason. I think it would pop my bright holiday balloon. Glad you got to go to the Smithsonian. My parents are always threatening to take the whole family to DC to see the government buildings. I've said I'll go, but only if they drop me off at the Smithsonian and pick me up a week later! SO MUCH STUFF! Hope you're feeling holiday-ish again soon, Amy


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