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CoverGirl
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 04:47

I have walls build by my own mind surrounding me and keeping me safe. Love comes in and brick by brick my wall is coming down, but I panic and scrabble to rebuild and keep myself in my comfort. Love is persistant and totally breaks down the walls and leave me open, bare, transparent, and vulnerable. Love picks me up and carries me out of the rubble that once was my wall. And as we walk away, I look back at the remains... sretching my hands toward it and grieving for my sanctuary. But love looks me in the eyes, and sees straight through my soul and kisses me tender... ... and suddenly I am embraced completely by love and this love has become my new wall. -Audra-Lee


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CoverGirl
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Posted on Sat, Nov 24, 2007 13:11

Re: bluegirl2006 write: The thing is that for me it was not a one-day-the-walls-fall-down kind of thing. It was a gradual process that took much patience and perserverence on the part of my love. Everytime I put up a roadblock between us (and there were MANY) he just calmly and determinedly went around it and if he couldn't go around it he just waited it out until it moved of its own accord. He never forced his way in. Never kicked at the wall in an attempt to bring it down. Just slowly took it away brick by brick, one at a time until there was no wall left. Then he replaced my brick wall with himself. HE is now my brick wall. He holds me up when I can no longer stand and allows me to lean without falling. And he keeps the rest of the world from harming me, protecting me from everything else.

I find it so amazing that many of us have felt or feel the same way. It truly does take a strong man to truly, completely love and understand a woman.


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CoverGirl
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Posted on Sat, Nov 24, 2007 13:08

Re: kewanna2007 write: And that is EXACTLY how it should be! As women who have been hurt one or more times, we do tend to build our walls for self-protection and, unfortunately, it is sometimes very hard for a man to get through them. But when the RIGHT man comes along, he will find a way to slip through the cracks in our mortar and we can then use his strength to "help" take down those walls... brick by brick... or boulder by boulder (whichever the case may be!). It is really hard to develop that trust in a man after you have been hurt over and over. I did the very same thing.... and I lost a great guy because of it. But he helped me to actually "see" what I was doing and he opened my eyes so I could see how high and how thick my walls had become. But after three failed marriages, I couldn't take another heartbreak. Oddly enough, once he helped me make this breakthrough, it turned out to be too much for him so he moved on. I owe him a debt of gratitude because had he not helped me with my walls, then I would not have been ready for David. David loves me unconditionally and completely... warts, walls and all. I had to learn that I didn't need my walls anymore to protect my heart because David had my heart now.

That's beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. :-)


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Posted on Fri, Nov 23, 2007 10:45

Re: CoverGirl write: "When your walls come down, I protect you with my walls."

And that is EXACTLY how it should be! As women who have been hurt one or more times, we do tend to build our walls for self-protection and, unfortunately, it is sometimes very hard for a man to get through them. But when the RIGHT man comes along, he will find a way to slip through the cracks in our mortar and we can then use his strength to "help" take down those walls... brick by brick... or boulder by boulder (whichever the case may be!). It is really hard to develop that trust in a man after you have been hurt over and over. I did the very same thing.... and I lost a great guy because of it. But he helped me to actually "see" what I was doing and he opened my eyes so I could see how high and how thick my walls had become. But after three failed marriages, I couldn't take another heartbreak. Oddly enough, once he helped me make this breakthrough, it turned out to be too much for him so he moved on. I owe him a debt of gratitude because had he not helped me with my walls, then I would not have been ready for David. David loves me unconditionally and completely... warts, walls and all. I had to learn that I didn't need my walls anymore to protect my heart because David had my heart now.


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Posted on Fri, Nov 23, 2007 06:22

First Blue I LOVE the new picture! Second I totally know where you're coming from on this topic. I had that twice with two long terms. I think I've found it again but it's been a rocky road. I'm really glad you and CG have found that strength in someone else that enhances your life. WOOO HOOOOOOOO it's a great feelings !!! Natalie Blue Commented on 22-NOV-07 # 3 The thing is that for me it was not a one-day-the-walls-fall-down kind of thing. It was a gradual process that took much patience and perserverence on the part of my love. Everytime I put up a roadblock between us (and there were MANY) he just calmly and determinedly went around it and if he couldn't go around it he just waited it out until it moved of its own accord. He never forced his way in. Never kicked at the wall in an attempt to bring it down. Just slowly took it away brick by brick, one more... The thing is that for me it was not a one-day-the-walls-fall-down kind of thing. It was a gradual process that took much patience and perserverence on the part of my love. Everytime I put up a roadblock between us (and there were MANY) he just calmly and determinedly went around it and if he couldn't go around it he just waited it out until it moved of its own accord. He never forced his way in. Never kicked at the wall in an attempt to bring it down. Just slowly took it away brick by brick, one at a time until there was no wall left. Then he replaced my brick wall with himself. HE is now my brick wall. He holds me up when I can no longer stand and allows me to lean without falling. And he keeps the rest of the world from harming me, protecting me from everything else.


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CoverGirl
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Posted on Fri, Nov 23, 2007 05:19

My inspiration for this blog came when after my guy and I was having a conversation and I started to open up to him and tell him about my walls... and he said the most wonderful thing... he said... "When your walls come down, I protect you with my walls." It spoke loud and clear into my soul. *sigh*


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bizzle49
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 15:25

what a lovely thought train CG....I wish you all the best in developing your flowering romance Re: CoverGirl write: I have walls build by my own mind surrounding me and keeping me safe. Love comes in and brick by brick my wall is coming down, but I panic and scrabble to rebuild and keep myself in my comfort. Love is persistant and totally breaks down the walls and leave me open, bare, transparent, and vulnerable. Love picks me up and carries me out of the rubble that once was my wall. And as we walk away, I look back at the remains... sretching my hands toward it and grieving for my sanctuary. But love looks me in the eyes, and sees straight through my soul and kisses me tender... ... and suddenly I am embraced completely by love and this love has become my new wall. -Audra


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CoverGirl
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 14:17

Re: Nisi32132 write: You're so right there. THen I ask my girlfriends what I might have done wrong if I don't get a call every day. ( I'm an attention whore for sure ) I like attention way too much and if I don't at least get a "hi" once a day I get insecure, I start saying it's over and get STUPID way to fast. You are right, we protect our hearts so much and for so long letting that wall down become so unfamiliar that it feels wrong !!! WOW, we are getting into some heavy stuff here huh? Love ya Nat

I can relate... boy can I ever. But I think that if you found that someone whom you can totally trust without a doubt, you would only feel that way briefly to test the waters... and then it's sweet peace. My best friend and I had a conversation a long long time ago about relationships. Both of us being strong women both realized that what we need is a strong, comforting man that is confident in himself and WON'T run when we get... as you said... stupid. I now believe they are out there. And I believe I have found a great one.


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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 08:52

You're so right there. THen I ask my girlfriends what I might have done wrong if I don't get a call every day. ( I'm an attention whore for sure ) I like attention way too much and if I don't at least get a "hi" once a day I get insecure, I start saying it's over and get STUPID way to fast. You are right, we protect our hearts so much and for so long letting that wall down become so unfamiliar that it feels wrong !!! WOW, we are getting into some heavy stuff here huh? Love ya Nat


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stannosstacey
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 08:30

For me the wall around my heart was created for protection and survival and worked great for many years but eventually hurt me more than helped me. And it was so amazing when the wall finally came down. I could actually feel it. I was crying and it felt amazing and also scary to let go of something that has been a part of me for so long. I am so glad the wall finally came down so I could let myself love and be loved by an amazing man.


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bluegirl2006
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 07:28

Re: CoverGirl write: We SHOULD fiercely guard our hearts... but the thing is... we do it so darn well that when the right man comes along, we don't quite know how to let that guard down.

The thing is that for me it was not a one-day-the-walls-fall-down kind of thing. It was a gradual process that took much patience and perserverence on the part of my love. Everytime I put up a roadblock between us (and there were MANY) he just calmly and determinedly went around it and if he couldn't go around it he just waited it out until it moved of its own accord. He never forced his way in. Never kicked at the wall in an attempt to bring it down. Just slowly took it away brick by brick, one at a time until there was no wall left. Then he replaced my brick wall with himself. HE is now my brick wall. He holds me up when I can no longer stand and allows me to lean without falling. And he keeps the rest of the world from harming me, protecting me from everything else.


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CoverGirl
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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 06:42

Re: As I move on in years, though, I find it harder and harder to trust and let down my barriers to allow someone into my life to the point where I'm totally naked to their mind. Natalie

It's called the heart of a woman. We SHOULD fiercely guard our hearts... but the thing is... we do it so darn well that when the right man comes along, we don't quite know how to let that guard down.


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Posted on Thu, Nov 22, 2007 05:36

WOW - That's really really really good !! Very deep, very well written and very inspiring. Now If I can relax enough to kick my bricks down or even just scatter them a bit. I wonder how many of us do this? I know I do, no question. I know it takes a great deal of effort before I allow someone inside my brick walls, then for him or her, there are no bricks. I've been there twice, I know how, just not when. As I move on in years, though, I find it harder and harder to trust and let down my barriers to allow someone into my life to the point where I'm totally naked to their mind. Natalie CoverGirl write: I have walls build by my own mind surrounding me and keeping me safe. Love comes in and brick by brick my wall is coming down, but I panic and scrabble to rebuild to keep myself in my comfort. Love is persistant and totally breaks down the walls and leave me open, bare, transparent, and vulnerable. Love picks me up and carries me out of the rubble that once was my wall. And has we walk away, I look back at the remains... sretching my hands toward it and grieving for my sanctuary. But love looks me in the eyes, and sees straight through my soul and kisses me tender... ... and suddenly I am embraced completely by love and this love has become my new wall. -Audra


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