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Petersh55
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Posted on Tue, Jul 17, 2007 04:34

Life seems to have so many fascinating questions and secret like Why do so many people enter into abusive relationship? Why do so many men watching Golf on T.V. when they could be making their Women happy? and Why don`t people spend more time laughing together ? Three Big Questions .Well my answer to the first Is Pass . My answer to the second is I don`t like Golf I prefer making Women happy the best way that I can . my answer to the third is self explanatary .So what do you think?


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AmuseMe
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total posts: 841
Posted on Thu, Jul 19, 2007 11:24

"In our disease defense system we build up huge walls to protect ourselves and then - as soon as we meet someone who will help us to repeat our patterns of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and/or deprivation - we lower the drawbridge and invite them in. We, in our Codependence, have radar systems which cause us to be attracted to, and attract to us, the people, who for us personally, are exactly the most untrustworthy (or unavailable or smothering or abusive or whatever we need to repeat our patterns) individuals - exactly the ones who will 'push our buttons.' This happens because those people feel familiar. Unfortunately in childhood the people whom we trusted the most - were the most familiar - hurt us the most. So the effect is that we keep repeating our patterns and being given the reminder that it is not safe to trust ourselves or other people. Once we begin healing we can see that the Truth is that it is not safe to trust as long as we are reacting out of the emotional wounds and attitudes of our childhoods. Once we start Recovering, then we can begin to see that on a Spiritual level these repeating behavior patterns are opportunities to heal the childhood wounds." ~ Robert Burney: The Dance of Wounded Souls


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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Posted on Thu, Jul 19, 2007 05:13

Hi Petersh55 1] Sometimes people are raised in abusive relationships, they will interpret the abuse as a sign of "love". They feel empty until they learn to replace the negative abuse with a positive love experience. 2] I think there might be two sides to this one, one is that some women are never happy no matter what you do, my mother is a perfect example. The second one is that some men just don't know how to make a women happy and the woman wants her man to read her mind. That is a totally separate topic. 3] Spending time together - what a great idea. I think society is still suffering from 911 terrorism and the economy. some are just too scared to laugh. Great question !! thanks Natalie Re: Petersh55 write: Life seems to have so many fascinating questions and secret like Why do so many people enter into abusive relationship? Why do so many men watching Golf on T.V. when they could be making their Women happy? and Why don`t people spend more time laughing together ? Three Big Questions .Well my answer to the first Is Pass . My answer to the second is I don`t like Golf I prefer making Women happy the best way that I can . my answer to the third is self explanatary .So what do you think?


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Petersh55
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Posted on Thu, Jul 19, 2007 04:40

Yes perhaps they don`t know it`s going to be an abusive relationship ,but why is it that most of those that are abusive have histories of being abusers ?,and Why knowing fullwell the reputation of such individuals do some people still find the prospect of being with an abuser so attractive? There Lies the real heart of the Cannundarum


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