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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Fri, May 04, 2007 20:44

I was wondering if I might be unique in that once I have made a connection online - I want to meet the person face to face asap. I trust my instincts better in person and figure its best to go ahead and move things into the real world to see if potential really exists. I would love to hear how others pace meeting their online connections in person. Any advice thoughts greatly appreciated.


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SupersizedK
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Posted on Thu, Jun 21, 2007 00:20

I'm like you, Honey. After the first barrage of info-sharing, I'm all set to meet. I'd rather find out right away whether he's lying or never going to show, than after 3-4 months online.


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wyldechild
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Posted on Sun, Jun 10, 2007 20:04

In some aspects I agree with Sweet, taking a little time is good, especially if it's long distance, either one of you has had a bad experience, etc. Then again, I'm all for feet first since I really do prefer face to face even if it doesn't evolve further or if it's just a friend I have met. Body language, facial expressions and verbal inflections really do surpass email, chat and phone by far!!! Following your instincts is the best bet. If someone seems hedgy, unsure, questionable, etc. then I would move along. If they are honest with you and say they would like to go slowly, then I can understand that viewpoint as well. Email/chat for a bit, maybe talk to each other on the phone, but if slowly ends up being months, years, decades...well...I think we all know what to do then!!! LOL peace out and rock on *grin*


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muaaas4u
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Posted on Sun, Jun 10, 2007 18:43

Hello, Ok I know I'm a little late on this one but here goes my two cents :) I believe that you have to listen to your gut instinct. Before I met my actual BF, a friend had given one of her friends my phone number. I talked to this fellow for about 3 weeks and I enjoyed his conversation, he made me laugh quite a bit! The thing is that I had no romantic inclination towards him and on my part it was ok to leave it as just a friendly voice over the phone. But he insisted that we meet, I gave in and met him and there was nothing there but awkwardness! He wanted something more and I didn't!! Long story short a promising friendship was gone! Now on the other side, when my current BF winked at me through LF, we exchanged about 3 emails and exchanged numbers and after phoning each other we met two days later and have been together since. With this one I trusted my gut instinct and everything went well. I feel that we all have the capability of trusting our intuitions, just that sometimes we chose not to!! I hope this helps!! :) Take care!!


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sun, May 06, 2007 20:49

Why wait? If you are both feeling a connection, why prolong it? Get moving!! lol


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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SweetCarmelBBBW
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Posted on Sun, May 06, 2007 19:24

Honey, IMHO, people move at different paces. Just because you are ready to meet doesn't mean he is. If your gut is telling you he is up to something, then move on; because you are probably right. If he just says he would rather slow down a notch, it could be he has recently been burned and just wants to slow it down. Not everyone on here that doesn't want to meet right away is up to no good. If you have other signs, like not exchanging real information - phone numbers, real name, can only speak when he is at work; that sort of thing - then he is probably a little shifty. But if you can call him on his cell or home number anytime of day, you know his real name, you have a work number - then feel him out a little longer. Hope it works out for you.

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bizzle49
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Posted on Sat, May 05, 2007 11:22

1. birdy is right about relationships....phone and e-mails dont a relationship make unless that's all you're looking for 2. personally, I've gone from extended to asap depending on how I've felt with the flow of conversation...kinda a mix of let's just get this over with to I really really wanna meet you lol


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Posted on Sat, May 05, 2007 10:27

Honeybiscuit ... that's a no-brainer ... move on and DITCH HIM!!! If his wife won't let you meet, why waste any more time and effort on him?? :)


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honeybiscuit
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Posted on Sat, May 05, 2007 06:29

Oh Biirdy thanks for the feedback - you have hit directly on my fear. I read from one 'expert" that in the absence of real info the mind will unconsciously fill in the blanks - this sounds like a recipe for heart ache to me. What do you think about if a fella will not meet or even plan to meet after a month of heated email exchanges?


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Posted on Sat, May 05, 2007 06:16

For me it has to be sooner rather than later. It's all too easy to build up what you think is a good rapport with someone when chatting on here, email or whatever, only to find when you actually meet the situation is very different. I've seen too many people say they are having a relationship with someone when all they are doing is talking online or maybe on the phone. In my book it is not anything like a relationship until you have met in person and really started to get to know each other. I think the cyberworld and the real world are poles apart and I prefer to keep it real!


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