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wanda_world
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Posted on Sun, Feb 18, 2007 22:12

A male friend that knows I love quotes sent me these quotes about women so I thought I would share them. Some I find true, some funny and some I disagree with just a tad bit. If a woman was to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry Women like silent men. They think they're listening. ~Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956 Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final msterpiece. ~Author Unknown Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. ~Marianne Williamson, "A Woman's Worth" Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~Bill Maher A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow You start out happy that you have no hips or bo*bs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping. ~Cindy Crawford Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. ~Laurence J. Peter The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~Author Unknown A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. ~Ellery Queen Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. ~Mae West Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ~Author Unknown Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage. ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ~Elizabeth Metcalf A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that. ~Harold Robbins Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~Quentin Crisp The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all bo*bs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges. ~Germaine Greer Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked. ~Ovid Howiver, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men. ~George Eliot, "The Harvest Supper," Adam Bede Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. ~W.C. Fields Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble. ~"Doctor" Leon Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. ~George Meredith Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners. ~George du Maurier Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly. ~Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton) The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. ~Guy de Maupassant I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~Ogden Nash When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. ~Gail Sheehy The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams. ~Simone de Beauvoir They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. ~Author Unknown Be to her virtues very kind, Be to her faults a little blind. ~Matthew Prior They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation. ~Oliver Goldsmith A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women. ~Edgar Wallace It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone. ~J.M. Barrie, What Every Woman Knows If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. ~Brendan Francis Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I married beneath me - all women do. ~Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951 Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand, Letters to Voltaire Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women. ~Elsa Schiaparelli If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments. ~Art Buchwald, 1974 Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. ~Oscar Wilde She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. ~Woody Allen, Getting Even, 1973 It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. ~Alexandre Dumas, fils I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four. ~Fred Allen When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can. Whether this happens because they stay so long and attend their work so diligently that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same woman they appeared when they began to dress. ~Joseph Addison All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 A woman should soften but not weaken a man. ~Sigmund Freud Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones. ~Camille Paglia When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony. ~Author Unknown A woman wears her tears like jewelry. ~Author Unknown If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a da*n if she's late? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye No woman wants to see herself too clearly. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. ~Bella Abzug The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head. ~Margaret Atwood Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one. ~Carolyn Kenmore There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women. ~Alfred Capus No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. ~Author Unknown Physically, a man is a man for a much longer time than a woman is a woman. ~Honor? de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. ~Author Unknown Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on. ~Billy Joel A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery. ~Diana St?rm In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman. ~Nancy Astor, My Two Countries God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you. ~Mrs. Patrick Campbell, in reply to a male acquaintance who asked why women seem to have no sense of humor Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. ~Stanley Baldwin I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go


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