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wanda_world
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total posts: 320
Posted on Tue, Feb 13, 2007 22:16

Valentine's Day A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. *********************************************************************************************************** A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams". ********************************************************************************************************* What did one oar say to the other? "Can I interest you in a little row-mance?" What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend? "Be my valenstein!" What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art!" ********************************************************************************************************** Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we'll go places! . Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? A. Hog and kisses! . Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? A. Sure, they're very scent-imental! . Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? A. "I'm sweet on you!" . Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A. "I find you very attractive." . Q. What did one pickle say to the other? A. "You mean a great dill to me." . Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? A. "I love you a ton!" . Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A. "You're fun to hang around with." . Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? A. He fell in love with a pin cushion! . Q. What did the pencil say to the paper? A. "I dot my i's on you!" . Q. What did one light bulb say to the other? A. "I love you a whole watt!" . Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. Ughs and kisses! . Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! . Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a great big kiss?

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bizzle49
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total posts: 550
Posted on Thu, Feb 15, 2007 14:13

big shame about the two melons who couldn't get married...


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wanda_world
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total posts: 320
Posted on Thu, Feb 15, 2007 00:39

LOL!....that's a darn good question Blue! Maybe someone didn't like the picture I posted with it so the rest of the blog got truncated-but I just copied the text in full from the original blog. Who knows-strange things happen here sometimes! Valentine's Day A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. *********************************************************************************************************** A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams". ********************************************************************************************************* What did one oar say to the other? "Can I interest you in a little row-mance?" What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend? "Be my valenstein!" What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art!" ********************************************************************************************************** Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we'll go places! . Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? A. Hog and kisses! . Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? A. Sure, they're very scent-imental! . Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? A. "I'm sweet on you!" . Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A. "I find you very attractive." . Q. What did one pickle say to the other? A. "You mean a great dill to me." . Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? A. "I love you a ton!" . Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A. "You're fun to hang around with." . Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? A. He fell in love with a pin cushion! . Q. What did the pencil say to the paper? A. "I my i's on you!" . Q. What did one light bulb say to the other? A. "I love you a whole watt!" . Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? A. Ughs and kisses! . Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! . Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a great big kiss?


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