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Posted on Sun, Nov 12, 2006 06:42

Ok, I have been buisy working overtime at work so I haven't really been keeping up with all my online stuff so I'll tell you what all is up with me. My new boyfriend is great. He's so cute (I need to get a pict and post it) anyways he is a nerd who's allways on the computer when he's not with me (yes I do know what he's doing on the computer... gaming and talking with girls, some he is just friends with others are more sexuall but we have a thing... I controle who we have sexuall contact with and right now it's only us but I'm open minded and he wants to see me with a girl. As for the online stuff. I told him it's like me reading a romance novel, it's not real. So long as he dosn't meet them for sex without my permishion everything is ok). He is really nice but bossy at times (he gave me homework, I'm suppost to write out what I want in our relationship and in my life for the next few years. He also told me to clean my room... ok so I have been a little lazy and my parents where teasing me about my frantic cleaning spree before he came over to visit last weekend. Now he tells me that if I keep up with the cleaning that I wouldn't have to rush around and clean before he comes over). He is old fashion... he wants to take care of me but he dosn't have much money, I told him don't worry about it now and that I make more money so it makes sence for me to do the paying every now and then and that he can "take care of me" as much as he wants after we get married. He makes me happy and I make him happy (ok so I make him laugh at my stuppidity. I may be smart but I never act like it). He wants to go to school to get a degree to teach english and he wants to live in japan for a year and teach. He wants to travel on a regular basis to so I don't have to worrie that I'm stuck in one place even if we get hitched. So in all I'm happy. He is also a very dirty minded bad boy. He also put his hand up my skirt at a bar. He also has some kinky ideas but we haven't done them all yet... yet, their is always later though. So after 2 months and a week everything is good. I'm falling for him even though he's annoying (he tickles me all the time and teases me)and he is all the things that I really like (open minded, likes to cuddle, smart, and loves a lot of the same things I like)


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Posted on Tue, Nov 21, 2006 09:39

Luciia, thank you for sharing. I know some things in my blog might sound like your situation and remind you of bad things but you also have to remember not all relationships are like that and not all men are like that. I am normally more sucure about myself but I have found myself dumbfounded by the extent of my sexuallity. I knew it was possable that I would want it to much... that how I am. What I didn't understand is how the wanting to much would effect how I veiw myself and the dinamics of a relationship. I am a selfish person and I often demand what I want (most of the time I'm nice about it though, I was raised to be a nice polite girl). Mike is pashent with me and often gives into my sexuall demands even when he probably shouldn't(this weekend I still didn't have my Homework but he still didn't say anything when I raped him in his sleap... yes I seid rape... he was asleep and he already seid last week I wasnt going to get any from him till he had that paper...I did it to him without his permishion, thats rape). Thankfully he is understanding (and male... a guy friend seid most guys would be happy to have a girl that wanted them so much shes willing to rape them... not shure why thats ok to a guy but their it is) and just snorted and grinned like the smartass he is while pretending to go back to sleep. He treats me good, our bickering is pretend... its not real or hateful in anyway, we don't really argue (we have to much in common to argue about anything first of all, second Im easy going, third he gives in to me to easyly... when he dosnt tickle me into submishion.) He trys to encorage me to become more than a lazy lump on a log. He's one of those guys that can easyly annoy the heck out of most people but I'm not most people. Im just as annoying at times (if not more so, the poor man) and I make friends with annoying guys all the time. I have argued with the most annoying men I have ever meet without once haveing them be mean or hateful... their all my friends and they make it their life goal to annoy people, playfully tease, and argue. Im just as bad as them most of the time. An argument isn't always a bad thing if people control themselfs. If they can say whats bugging them without saying bad stuff about someone else, hurting someone, or laying blame on the rong person it can be a good thing because it clears the air. It makes people face what is wrong and fix it. But it takes a thick skin sometimes, an ability to know its not critisim of you as a person, and a strong selfestem. I usually have all those things and I acutally still a have those things. I know what abuse is and the diffrence between someone being a Bossy "tough love" type (had a teacher like that... best teacher ever. Without her I would have never graduated high school) and someone who is bossy violent/controlling. My boyfriend is not bossy violent/controlling. I have a friend whos boyfriend critizises her clothing - to short a skirt, to low a top. My boyfriend isn't like that (thank god, considering what I usually wear a controlling jelouse boyfriend is the last thing I need). Infact he laughed at me when I came out of the bathroom one night wearing a top I hadn't tryed on at the store that ended up way to small and as I was standing their I was tugging and adjusting to no avail. Unfortuanally it was the only thing I had to wear to the bar we were going to. My neck line was plunging but he just seid I look hot and laughed when I again tugged on it and shifted my boobs (he also threw a cube of ice down my top at the bar and a peace of paper... worse than a kid, he seid he couldn't help it... my rack was a perfect target , and I laughed at him and treatend to put the ice down his pants) . I understood him, I understood why he was laughing and why he dose the things he dose. It wasnt hurtfull, it was funny. Like a episode from I Love Lucy or something... boobs about ready to poop out, I struggle with the top only to have it go lower and show off my bra like Im a hooker or something. The more I struggle the worse it gets...I still laugh when I think about it. So that it. You all are jumping at monsters that arnt their. I know abuse when I encounter it... he dosnt abuse me... laugh at me shure, remind me of my goals yes, joke about stuff that everyone teases me about (including myself) heck yeah, but hes not abusive... Hes just your usuall pain in the but guy that loves to make bad jokes... if I wanted to I could be way meaner than him so dont worrie about me. I know how to deal with bullys and hes not one, ok?


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Posted on Mon, Nov 20, 2006 17:25

Ummm... hes not trying to change me... we joke about stuff. Listen you all are trying to read to much into things. I have been to stressed out cause of work and it made me emotional... I cryed over something stuppid while we were cuddling... it had nothing to do with him, and he panicked. He didn't know what was wrong and thought it was something he did or didnt do but it wasnt about him. The sothing comfort of being with him made me drop my defeces and the emotions I keept bottled up (including the stress from work and my own bit of insicurity that I usually deal well with...) just came rushing out. I cryed. He asked what was wrong... I gave him a stuppid answer, he seid that it couldnt be that making me cry and then he assigned me homework. He is not being to bossy. He suggest things and i eather go with it or not. I say hes bossy to tease him and to describe his old fashion values. I dont have to do anything I don't want and he dosnt want to change me... he wants to help me reach my goals. Like me wanting to lose weight... I am not healthy at this weight. I am fine with looking big, I no longer feel bad about it cause of sites like this one but to tell the truth the presher on my joints is bothering me, I have bruses from my bras case my chest is to heavy, I cant run to save my life, and my dad is diabetic so I have to be careful not to become the same way. I told Mike I need to lose weight. He seid "I like you how you are but if thats what you want then we can exersise together." He teases me about stuff cause i openly say Im lazy and he is trying to motivate me. None of his actions are ment to be mean or hateful. If anything he has been the most accepting person I have ever meet. As for the sexuall stuff... he asked just to figure out my reaction, he told me we dont have to do anything I dont like... but when he notices Im interested in something he has a tendency to tease and hold onto that idea for a while. So sorry to all you doubters... he is mine and Im not giving him up just cause. Yes hes bossy at times but he has my best interest in mind. Hes not saying stuff to be mean or anything else like that. Hes doing it cause he wants the best for me.


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Posted on Mon, Nov 20, 2006 14:19

I didn't see the second post... I'm now worried about this guy. Ummm maybe you should cool down the feelings for him abit and talk about the fact your not going to change a bit for him.


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Posted on Mon, Nov 20, 2006 09:54

Sorry.. I had to add... stay away from the bossy ones.. cos believe me.. you will have problems. Been there, done that.


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PEPSI
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Posted on Thu, Nov 16, 2006 13:41

HEY TIGRESS IM NOT TRYING TO UPSET YOU... BUT I THINK THIS GUY ISNT THE ONE FOR YOU... I HAVE READ OVER YOUR WORDS.. YOU SAY IN THEM WHATS WRONG WITH ME... I THINK YOU KNOW THIS GUY ISNT FOR YOU...IF THIS WAS THE GUY FOR YOU.. I DONT THINK YOU WOULD HAVE WROTE THE THINGS YOU DID.. HE SOUNDS LIKE A GUY WHO WANT'S THE CONTROL... I ASK THAT YOU TAKE IT VERY SLOW... STAND BACK AND LOOK AT IT.. MAKE A LIST OF THE GOOD AND THE BAD... DO YOU FEEL AS HAPPY NOW? JUST BE SAFE AND LOOK AT THE PICTURE.. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK


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Posted on Thu, Nov 16, 2006 11:27

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!


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Posted on Thu, Nov 16, 2006 11:06

Hey Curvy, great to hear you are happy. But, at risk of sounding like an old prude, just be careful, and make sure you know what you are doing. Some of what you describe sounds (to me at least) a little detatched from "normal" behaviour. Not that straying from the "norm" is necessarily bad, but be sure to keep your ears open for any alarm bells ..... Be happy, Biirdy x


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Posted on Tue, Nov 14, 2006 12:01

Good for you.....


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pumpkin2007
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Posted on Tue, Nov 14, 2006 09:37

good luck with ur new love, BUT.....please be very careful about the bossy behavior, and the fact that you have only bin dating for awhile and already talking about marriage pls be very very very careful sweety.......DEB


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Posted on Tue, Nov 14, 2006 08:53

He's bossy till I grippe about it... I got whinny about the homework bit and he dropped it untill I told him I was kidding. He just says manly "This is How It Is" type of stuff and I decide to ither go along with it, tease him about it, or say no. He hasn't been mean about it... the only thing he's threatend me with is no sex, wich is something he knows I want enough to negotiate with him in order to get it. He's yealled at me twice for waking him up for sex when he's only had a couple of hours of sleep (he didn't even yell lowd... I grew up with a loud in your face screaming mad dad so my boyfreinds annoyed remarks where nothing in comparison)and apolligised afterward despite the fact that it was my own falt and I shouldn't have done that... it was rude of me to do that when I knew he didn't have much sleep and was tired from work. As for the online gamers thing... well I agree with that. I'm just hopeing that his disire to fix his finances, to reach his dream of becomeing a teacher, and his wanting to settle down and have a family will give him the motivation to live life outside the game. So far he seems to find me more intersting than the computer though... he told me "I'm addicted to the computer but I don't love the computer." and "I'm not on the computer when your around cause I want to be with you when your here." when I jokingly seid that it was the other woman and that I need to steal his affection and attention from it. Oh and he also threatens to tickle me all the time...usually till I fall out of my seat. He's not ticklish so it's not fare.


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AmuseMe
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Posted on Sun, Nov 12, 2006 21:04

Hey tigress. Congratulations! Nice to hear you are happy about your relationship. I hope everything works out for you. Just be careful. I have seen that sometimes some online gamers are so into thier own little fantasy world that they find it nearly impossible to climb out and into reality. Just, be safe and guard your heart till you are sure. ... and that bossy thing, I have to say, bothers me a little. But I am an ex-victim of domestic violence, so I am just ... cautious. ;) Good luck and happy endings for you doll!


In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser

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