I have been reading these blogs and they always give me cause to think things through in different ways.
This time I want to explore the question "Who's responsible for..."
1] me not trusting
2] me not letting someone into my life
3] my anger
4] my hurt
5] my loneliness
6] my well being
7] my happiness
8] finding someone to love
9] my pain
10] allowing someone to see the real me
11] my responsiblity to me
I know that it's difficult to trust again. I also know that the new person that I've allowed into my life is not responsible for my past pain, etc. I am, I'm responsible for all of my numbers. That's the bottom line. Did I cause it? I believe to some degree we do have to admit that we had a hand in it. We agreed to the relationship, good or bad.
Now that I know this, the new person in my life it only responsible for today and tomorrow, not yesterday.
Here's the scenario, you meet someone that you're instantly attracted to in all the important ways. You're out on your second date, but first "official" date after meeting.
Do you tell that person the good and the bad about you? You know the stuff that's important long term. For instance, medical issues, others that you dated that you might run into at stores or functions because they live in the area. Financial issues that are important? Family issues?
What and when do you tell someone that you're interested in for the long haul?
I'm having a major discussion with a girlfriend. We want to ask the bloggers for male and female opinions.
I've just gotten to the three month mark in a new relationship ( my g/f is meeting new men also) As a result we've become exclusive and weekends are "habit forming". OLD Habits from past traditional "roles" Female make food - male eat. Female cleans up - male reads paper sort of thing.
While he is NOT asking for anything, I'm getting up and doing this on my own. He would be happy to make me breakfast, he is willing to go out if I so deem it. I am working on 'traditional" training of how to please a man, how to keep a man, how to service a man. THIS man is NOT doing that. He is cleaning up after I cook, he is going out of his way to be a true "other half" not playing the traditional cave man image.
So I want to know if anyone has dealt with the "traditional" training of the Donna Reed Show or Father Knows Best? Then arrived in 2008? what did you do? how did you do it? How does it work? Or not work?
I know it's individual and per couple but I can learn a few tricks here as I have many many times in the past from the amazing bloggers here.
I've been reading these blogs for over a year now. We all seem to be seeking love, but what is love. Honestly I know we all have our own definition.
I know mine changed as I age (like a fine wine )
When I was a teenager, it was ROCK MY WORLD, then I wanted someone to take care of me, protect me as my Dad did.
THEN - a switch must have flipped on . I wanted a friend, a lover, a companion, a confidant, a buddy, a travel partner, someone to be my back up when I'm down. Someone that needs me,wants me, enjoys spending time with me.
My current definition of love is a comfort zone of trust, honesty and respect. Vague but also powerful. I want companionship now, I want to have someone that can occupy himself when I need alone time. I want someone that also can go shopping with me or without me and pick up the things we might need as well as bringing me something I like " just because" I also want to be able to do the same for him.
I'm sure there's more but that's the icing on the cake right now.