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Scared Of Rejection?
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78 Views
11/18/09
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Wanted to bring up topic?that I come across in the dating scene quite a lot ....Rejection.
So we are here on a dating site wanting to meet someone but for many their biggest fears are that of being rejected when they do meet someone.? I have heard from some that they wont even meet someone till they have had months of talking and have established a connection for the fear of being rejected before the person has gotten to know them.? Though of course this can still happen because attraction is far more than the connection you can make chatting on here.
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So is a rejection something personal, that makes one lesser in some way, not worthy?? Do we get down on ourselves so much that it actually stops us from being who we are?? I know when I first started online dating it was a big issue for me.??I had my fair share of rejection and did take it personally.
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Now I know that rejection is not that of me personally.? It may be that our personalities dont match but someone else will find me fabulous.? They may not be attracted to my body, but have had others drool?over it.? lol? It may be that our goals are different and creating a future just wont work easy.??It can be so any different things sometimes nothing to do with?me at all.
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I want everyone to remember that rejection is not a rejection of you just a rejection of what sort of relationship the other person sees could be created with you and that does in no way may less of you.??We all are in different places and have different needs, and not everyone is right for each other, but yet is fabulous in their own way.? Thanks for letting me share this.? ;)
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Another Word For Fat?
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71 Views
11/17/09
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Hi there all in blog land, I was reading some other blogs and thought that we all?would have terms for Big Beautiful Women in our parts of the world that are acceptable to use but not all would be the same.
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Here in Australia I think we use the term BBW, Larger or Bigger.? Think that the word fat would be considered offensive as would thick or fluffy as babycakes has mentioned.
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What do you personally like to be called and what do you find offensive?
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What about your part of the world?? How about everyone that reads this, adds to it, an international poll.? :)
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Pheromones And Attraction
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125 Views
10/25/09
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I had a date recently and we got interesting discussion on the effect of pheromones in sexual attraction.
Why are we sometimes instantly sexually attacted to someone, even though they may not be what one considers good looking or even right for you?
Do phermones play a part in what we now call chemistry between two people that is out of our control, more a chemistry type of thing.
I know that certain scents can turn me on and lucky the man that is wearing them lol, I used to have a perfume that I would wear that would get me excited and feel more desirable. Now this may sound nuts but it did, sadly it is not been made anymore. :(
Can dating be just a thing of finding that person with enough good qulities and the right body odour? :)
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Has Adonis Slipped Through My Fingers?
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112 Views
10/14/09
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Ok had a date earlier this week. Met him on another site that promotes compatability and valies matching. We matched in many ways and got on real well in emails and I liked him , but had not even seen his pic at that stage (he had seen mine).
We met at a night club, and I though my knees would buckle. My Adonis had walked in the door. grins
Well we chatted and had a few drinks, played pool and enjoyed each others company for 3 hours at which time he left. Now during this time I sensed that there was some interest but his body language kept changing, sometimes showing interest other times just being friendly.
Overall I felt that there was chemistry, but I cant be sure if that was just coming from my side? Though I would have thought he would have got out of there earlier if there was not something that interested him to stay?
It ended with a had a gret time it was nice meeting you, but no mention of any further contact. Now it had been 4 days and I have not heard from him.
Ok sorry, here is my question. lol
If he was interested would he have made contact by now? Do men really follow some 4 or 5 day rule about not contacting women?
Should I contact him and tell him that I had a great time or just wait for him to make his move? If he is planning to make a move at all? Either way I would like to be friends with him.
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What I Love About Online Dating
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109 Views
10/05/09
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Ok too mcuh negative stuff recently on these blogs, and I know we are all here to get something positive from it. Wanted to share what I love about my online dating expierience and hope that some will also share some of theirs.
-Love all the great men that I have talked to for it taught me to define what I want
-Love the profile that I have read that have given me further insight into the minds of men
-Love all the men that have sent me a wink or posted a nice comments for it made me feel desirable
-Love all the people that read my blogs and put up with me, my views and lectures (lol) for it allowed me to express and understand what was inside me
-Love all the men that have stollen a bit of my heart for it showed me just how much I have to give
-Love all those that have supported, disagreed and offered advice for you helped me grow
-Love all those that have made me laugh though at my age thats a bit dangerous without precausions
-Love all the men that I have gotten to kiss ... good for my "tongue tango" research :P
-Love all the men that flirted, teased and got my pulse racing for it allowed me to express my desires
-Love all the friends I have made for it has shown me that I can be loved
-Love all the men and woman who chated on messenger for hours for now Im a fast typist
-Love all the dreams you have let me be a part of as I now have faith in my own
-Love that you have read down this far for I know you, just like me, and have nothing better do with you time
:)
Ozred
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The Difference Between Truth And Reality?
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107 Views
09/14/09
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This blog is about a comment that Azureblue posted on another one of my blogs that I feel deserves to have its own place for discussion.
I do believe that what we percieve to be real is our reality and our truth.
If we decide that the day is wonderful and we are feeling great, well it is. No one else can shake that unless we let them.
If we have been hurt in love and feel that all relationshiops or men/women are bad, well that is true to us. This becomes our reality, and so becomes our Truth.
I have seen many people lost and stuck in their own world of truth and reality and it is not until they choose to change how they see things can they change.
I have a girl friend who I love dearly, and to her all realtionships are just too much work, not worth the bother. Yet she also in a way would like to have a man in her life.
Every time we discuss this and look at ways to get her out and meeting people she reverts back to her thinking, and pulls out to its all too hard. This is her world, her truth and reality.
We all have our own truth and reality that we create from our viewpoints, expieriences and decisions.
How good my life is .... is only due to what I have created within the framework of my mind and what I believe.
Just my 50cents worth ... to coin Nat's phrase :)
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Azureblue wrote:
Hi oz,
I have been reading what some of the great minds in history have to say about reality. Plato said the following:
Plato on Truth and Reality
And isn't it a bad thing to be deceived about the truth, and a good thing to know what the truth is? For I assume that by knowing the truth you mean knowing things as they really are. (Plato, 380BC)
The philosopher is in love with truth, that is, not with the changing world of sensation, which is the object of opinion, but with the unchanging reality which is the object of knowledge. (Plato, 380BC)
Truthfulness. He will never willingly tolerate an untruth, but will hate it as much as he loves truth... And is there anything more closely connected with wisdom than truth? (Plato, 380BC)
Then may we not fairly plead in reply that our true lover of knowledge naturally strives for truth, and is not content with common opinion, but soars with undimmed and unwearied passion till he grasps the essential nature of things with the mental faculty fitted to do so, that is, with the faculty which is akin to reality, and which approaches and unites with it, and begets intelligence and truth as children, and is only released from travail when it has thus reached knowledge and true life and satisfaction? (Plato, 380BC)
What is at issue is the conversion of the mind from the twilight of error to the truth, that climb up into the real world which we shall call true philosophy. (Plato, 380BC)
The object of knowledge is what exists and its function to know about reality. (Plato, 380BC)
And those whose hearts are fixed on Reality itself deserve the title of Philosophers. (Plato, 380BC)
When the mind's eye rests on objects illuminated by truth and reality, it understands and comprehends them, and functions intelligently; but when it turns to the twilight world of change and decay, it can only form opinions, its vision is confused and its beliefs shifting, and it seems to lack intelligence. (Plato, 380BC)
'But surely "blind" is just how you would describe men who have no true knowledge of reality, and no clear standard in their mind to refer to, as a painter refers to his model, and which they can study closely before they start laying down rules about what is fair or right or good where they are needed, or maintaining, as Guardians, any rules that already exist.'
'Yes, blind is just about what they are' (Plato, 380BC)
One trait in the philosopher's character we can assume is his love of the knowledge that reveals eternal reality, the realm unaffected by change and decay. He is in love with the whole of that reality, and will not willingly be deprived even of the most insignificant fragment of it - just like the lovers and men of ambition we described earlier on. (Plato, 380BC)
I have been reading a lot on this subject, in a desire to understand it. I agree with the experts of old and this is kinda what I get from all I've read.
Reality is based on the physical and tangible. The universe exist in reality, following laws of physics, a tangible reality. We as humans have opinions. They are opinions, not realities, except perhaps in our minds. Any civilization that in history has went against the age old concepts of reality, ie, truth....has fallen. Opinions will come and go, changing with time and knowledge, but the reality of truth, will continue.
Heres another interesting quote from cuurent times.
'Reality cannot be found except in One single source, because of the interconnection of all things with one another'.
When we deduce this most Simple Science Theory of Reality we find that there is only one possible solution: Space must be the substance which exists and matter is formed from waves in Space. The electron is a spherical standing wave in Space.I.e. While there are many minds and material things, they all exist in one common Space (just look around you and think about it). We can then show that the Wave Structure of Matter is the correct solution as it deduces the fundamentals of Physics & Philosophy perfectly (there are no opinions).
I realise that there are a lot of 'crackpot' theories about truth and reality on the Internet, but this solution is the most simple one and it is obvious once known (though it takes time for our minds to adjust to new knowledge).
Just food for thought!
Smiles--azure
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Can Passion Be Learned?
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141 Views
09/12/09
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While responding to another blog this question came to mind.
Can you teach someone to be passionate if they are not that way with you from the beginning? Now Im talking about sexually here, as people can be passionate for other things as well.
Some definitions of passion on the web are:
passion - heat: the trait of being intensely emotional
passion - rage: something that is desired intensely;
passion - mania: an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action
passion - a feeling of strong sexual desire
passion - love: any object of warm affection or devotion;
I have heard many times stories of break ups where one of the main factors has been miss matched libido or lack of similar tastes or interest in this arena.
Is paasion about finding that person that brings that part out in you, or if you are passionate are you that way with any partner that you like?
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Open Relationships - Do they work?
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291 Views
09/11/09
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Hey to all in lovely blog land thought I would put up a topic that may have some varied viewpoints, love to look at things from other peoples views so please give me your thoughts. :)
Ok was dating someone recently who told me that he liked an open relationship or what can be termed swinging.
Now this clever, articulate and professional man made some interesting points while he was discussing his views and prefences.
His ideal relationship was where both parties were open to adding new partners into their sexual activity, ideally long term play friends where a friendship was also established.
Now this was only ever done together as a couple and if one did not want to then it was called off.
His views were that this eleminated jealousy and cheating in a relationship and actually fostered more caring and confidence as comunicatin was open and honest. Nothing to hide.
So can this really work? Do you know of anyone that has a successful open relationship?
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Do Women Want Too Much?
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142 Views
09/10/09
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I came across the following joke email that made me laugh but also got me wondering as to how much like us it really was?
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The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in :City New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs..
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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So do we women really expect too much? Are we looking for the perfect man? Are we unreasonable in this?
What about the men do they expect too much too? I really cant believe that it is this simplistic for men and how they choose their women?
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How your weight affects your choice in men?
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546 Views
06/01/09
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Hi to all you lovley people, it feels like I have been away a long time and do have to say that I have missed you all. :)
I have been reading recent blogs on body image and how this may or may not define you and it brought up something I wanted to throw out there.
When I look at most of my previous relationships in an attempt to understand them, understand myself and maybe future ones as well, I have looked at the fact that I had a limited selection of men to choose from.
What I mean here is that due to my being what I consider beyond ample size I feel that the amount of men that are available to choose from are far less than someone that may be of average size. Now I dont know if this is true or not, just something I feel.
Even now, when I go out to a club the percentage of men that may be interested in a larger woman I would say are something like 1% certainly not more than 3%.
That does not allow for much selection, so how I am I meant to find that man that is perfect for me?
I wonder about my previous relationships and if I got into them because they were available, more so than because they were right?
I do know that a couple of them were with men that liked BBW's but this was more due their own issues and insecurities and this would show up as fear of my wanting to or attempting to lose weight.
At one point I decided to that I would not date while I was still big and would wait till I had lost my weight and had a better selection to choose from, but dont know how wise that is considering I have been like this for more than 30 years? Argggh!
I am still in the process of understanding how my weight has defined my choice in men and if this is my personal issue or something that is real and out there?
What do you think? Has your weight affected who you have chosen to partner with? Do you feel that you had enough options or have you had to pick the best from what was available rather than what you really wanted?
If you were your ideal body weight would you be going out with men that are different to the type you may be going out with now?
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Just For A Laugh
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157 Views
08/19/09
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Some of this is nearly English:
Sentences in letters written to councils in the UK
1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow
2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has Backfired and burnt my knob off.
3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very
badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage..
4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his
balls against my fence.
5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6.. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7.. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away From the wall.
8.. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9.. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10..50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster,
and 50% are Plain filthy.
11..I am still having problems with smoke in my new
drawers.
12..The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children
until it is Cleared.
13..Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a
funny colour and Not fit to drink.
14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15..I want to complain about the farmer across the road.. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much For me.
16..The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is Unsightly and dangerous.
17..Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third So please send someone round to do something about it.
18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19..Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job
and satisfy my wife.
20..I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21..This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
23..He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
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No Free Week For Blogs???
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162 Views
08/18/09
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Hi all I just noticed that they have removed the free week earned for 10 comments on your blog????
I must be slow .. when did this happen?
They have replaced it with getting a free month for a published article!! Now not too bad an idea if you can see what is written there in the articles, got to admit us ladies do like to read such stuff BUT you cant read them unless you are a member !!!
Think its a bad move to lose the free week for the blogs, most of us that blog are women, and dont or will not pay for memberships anyway.
Lose the women from the site and you have nothing!!!
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Why "No Thanks" Responses Available ??????
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194 Views
07/26/09
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OK there comes a time when what I have to ask What Are They Thinking????
Received a couple of winks recently (thank you) and went to respond to them when I found that that is NO WAY to respond unless with a "yes" type of response.
Now this really pissed me off!!!!! I like to respond in some fashion to all winks, even if its to say "thanks but not thanks" and hate the silent no answer thing.
Though now it appears that Large Friends dont give us the opportunity to have good manners unless we are saying we are interested or are paid members !!!!
Also noticed that we still dont have spell check on the main message of the blog, but it is available for the blog title????
Do wonder if who ever is making these changes have given any thought at all about what the user here wants? Things that will make people want to come back to the site !!!!!
I would love to create my own dating site but would miss the friends I have made here too much. Though still may do it anyway? Maybe a totally free BBW dating site????
Anyway to those that have sent me winks and I have not responded, thank you but I am sorry it just means that for whatever reason I dont think we are a match and can not tell you this through a wink. xx
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The right time to discuss being exclusive?
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99 Views
06/08/09
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I tried to search this topic to see if it has been done before, but on these blogs thats nearly impossible to do. So here it is, sorry in advance if it has been covered already.
When is the right time to discuss commitment or being exclusive with a man that you have been dating?
I was talking about this with a male friend the other day and his answer was ... 6 months!!
Now call me fast or stupid, not sure which one, maybe both, but that seemed to be a long time?
Now maybe I have always been fast going in my relationships but I dont think I have ever been dating, seeing someone weekly, which had progressed into a physical relationship and then waited 6 months to discuss being exclusive.
At what point in the relationship have you discussed this? Are women more keen to discuss this than men? Do men get scared off if this topic is brought up too early?
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How Important Is Great Sex In A Relationship?
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436 Views
06/07/09
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Recently I have been thinking about men and the choices we make in picking our partners.
Personally I seem to want it all, that perfect relationship that is full of communication, laughter, honesty, respect and great sex. What most of us are after ...right?
Though I do wonder at how real this expectation is?
Having a great sexual relationship is a big thing for me ..well I hope its big ..ha ha.
I have had the relationship where I have had other elements that I have wanted in a partner but the sexual side has been satisfying though at the same time somewhat lacking.
Of course I have also had the "take your breath away" relationnships where the lacking appeared outside the bedroom.
If you have a partner that is great on all the other attributes but only rates as "good" though not "great" in the sexual attibutes ... is that good enough?
What about that partner that is "great" sexually and turns your world upside down each time, but is only "good" in other areas?
Which would you choose?
Will taking either choice have you yearning for that thing that you dont have in the realtionships?
How much of a compromise do we make here?
Is it too much to expect to be able to have it all?
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Am I Being Prudish?
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291 Views
05/01/09
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I really need your opinions and experiences on this dilemma that I find myself in.
I have been seeing/dating a very nice man for a few weeks now. We have spent quite a bit of time together both on the phone and in person and I suppose are starting to become a bit more serious with each other.
He is gentle, articulate, educated, witty, sensual, artistic, very attentive and cute in a bohemian sort of way.
We got on well from the first day we spoke online and despite some differences I can not deny that we are good together.
What else could I want right?
In the early days of getting to know each other he told me that he smoked dope, but at the time I thought he meant occasional recreational use. It turns out that I assumed wrong.
He smokes a little bit every day, and from what I can tell has been doing so for many years. Now I can say that he has never appeared stoned to me, even though I know he has smoked, just before and even while he was with me. He is responsible with his money, kids and full time work and does not appear any different even after he has had a smoke.
Now it is not for me to say what is right for people, but I have been down that road and decided that it was not something I wanted or needed in my life. I have not smoked in over 20 years and have no intention of doing so again.
I do have some friends that do smoke, and some that take other recreational drugs, but usually not when they are with me.
Now I find myself in not knowing what to do here? Wondering if I am prudish in regards to this situation? I dont feel I can nor want to ask him to stop, but do feel concerned about progressing this relationship along.
I have smeared the boundaries in allowing him to smoke while with me, at first not realising, as he smokes home made cigarettes, but even after I knew, just thinking this was one of those occasional times.
Having had one long term relationship with a binge drinker who slowly changed as his drinking increased, I guess it really has me concerned.
How should I tackle this when I talk to him about it?
Can some people smoke long term without it really affecting them, mentally or emotionally?
Should I take this as a sign of him not being able to cope with life?
Is this relationship doomed or am I just being prudish?
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Why Offer Me Sex?
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721 Views
03/20/09
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Hey to all you lovely peoole in blog land.? Wanted to throw out some thoughts on something I cant get my thinking around about some of the guys out there.?
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Now I believe that a woman can get sex any time she wants, she holds the power in this, and if she in not all that fussy,?sex is available to her at her will.
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Ok hope you agree and are with me so far?
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So have to wonder why some men think that offering me sex will entice and interest me?? I think I am quite clear about this in my profile.
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Even after I have?told them that I am not looking for this and have this available at hand if I wanted,?it still does not stop them.
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It feels a bit like offering a person that lives on an island a trip to the beach.? lol??
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Do they have nothing else to offer?? Do they lack personality?? Or do they just think?that I?am desperate for it?
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What do you guys and girls think?? Is this a basic nature of the beast? lol?
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Though in saying this are we women the opposite, do we offer?friendship, relationships and love, and discount the things that they cant get enough of?
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P.S.? Watch how fast the "views" count moves because I have the word "sex" in the title ..... interesting. ? he he he
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So when is big just TOO BIG ?
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475 Views
02/27/09
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Now I know that I can really appreciate and have a preference for certain sizing of particular body parts, but when is big just too big.
I have been speaking to a really hot looking man, articulate, witty and successul, that has been having trouble with finding women to stay with him.
Upon pushing him to clarify this as I could not see why this man was single and why women would not stick to like honey, he eventually disclosed his little problem. lol
Well this man has a certain organ that measures 12.5 inches or 31.8 cm !!! Omg, yes i asked him to prove it,seen the pics. How could I resist? LOL
He finds that women just run away from him and his search is for that woman that could take him without him holding back.
Now that made me wonder if this is even at all possible? Being challenged size wise the other way can be worked around by varying positons and angle, well in most cases, lol , but is there a way to be able to accomidate more when there is no where left to go.
I know i have an idea preference which is actually within what would be considered average, or maybe a bit above. lol, what about you girls, would you run from something like this, or run to it. he he he
Now I know what you may be thinking ..... and your right lol I would love to get to know him better but not ready to jump on the horse without knowing we are going to enjoy the ride. :)
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Why be a fake?
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194 Views
02/27/09
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Hi to all you wonderful people in blogland, I have not been on much recently as i have been busy with life and been a very lucky girl and had quite a few dates.
Am a memeber on some other sites and perhaps because I was the new girl on the block, got quite a few responses, some that i have been rather interested in.
Ok so you all know the drill you talk get to know them and if you are lucky one day you meet. All good not too hard to think with and should be so simple. Right? ..... NOT lol
I am starting to lose count of the amount of men that have twisted the truth to suit the situation, told part of the truth, or half the picture.
One man I really liked said he had broke up with his ex about 5 months before, truth came out after we were dating for a couple of weeks and she called him to say she wanted him back (he went). Turns out is was only 1 month before.
Another said he was 5 ft 4, my height, which was not ideal but ok. We meet and he is not even as tall as me WITH his booster shoes on.
Then there is the one that says he has a little bot belly, ok, we met and he was rounder than one of those exercise balls you can sit on.
To top it off another one that was was taking it up big how he wants good conversationa and that connection with a person and he would take that above just having sex with someone he does not like or connect with. Great, we establish that there is a connection, and agree to meet. He then cancels on me last minute because he got an offer from a woman for sex, that he already admited to me that he did not even like.
Ok had my rant here, lol, but I do wonder why bother???
Granted we all want to show our best side. I do too. I have what i consider is a nice pic here for example, but i do tell the men that this is one of those special pics that shows me in my best light and that i look different in real life, and I also have pics that show me looking different too.
If we re really out here to meet someone that may become special, why do we need to push the truth , or lie? Surely the end result is not good if you are deceiving someone, how ever slight this may be?
I am sure that women are all too guilty of this as well, and I guess I wont always disclose everything about me straight off, but would and do if I was asked. Want some one who is into me for me and all that i really am. otherwise why bother?
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