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<title>Blogs for nodramaaroundme.</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog?nodramaaroundme</link>
<description>Enjoy my random thoughts and questions.</description>
<language>en-us</language>
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<title>Curious and Confused What A Combination</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=72141</link>
<pubDate>11-JUL-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hey everyone, I just recently returned from a wonderful trip to Arkansas. Yes I said Arkansas. I rode horses, went 4-wheeling and even drove a tactor...lol. I really enjoyed the trip. I went with a friend of mine who has a boyfriend of 4 months. This is the thing. Everytime I turned around she was texting him, sending him pictures or talking to him on the phone. And she would always say something like, &quot;He's not doing well with me gone.&quot; I was very supportive but in my head I was going WTF? We were gone all of 5 days and not that long if you think about he stayed with her the night before and saw her the morning of the flight and was there when she returned on the 5th day. I know these things because I calulated the time I can leave my fur kids without having someone stop in to feed and water them...lol.

Anyway, back to my friend. Is it me or is that a bit of overkill? When I travel I don't want to think my man is home whining about how much he misses me and can't stand it because I'm gone for less than 5 days. I want him to be like, &quot;Wow baby you climbed a fence to get on a horse I'm proud of you. When you get home I'll have something else for you to climb.&quot; LOL I'm just saying.  I don't want him texting me every 5 minutes asking me what I'm doing and can't wait until you get home or worse yet, I wish I was there too.

I guess I'm asking is this why I'm single and my relationships don't last that long. I show my man a lot of attention when we are around each other and I'm rare because I still write hand written letters to my sweetheart (when I have one). I'm known to send &quot;just because&quot; cards even when we live in the same city, who doesn't like to receive a card in the mail. But when I want to go on a pleasure trip, I shouldn't have to worry about you making me feel bad about it. This trip was planned long before she even met him.

I just don't get it. I think she enjoyed the attention but tried to act like it was working her nerves. Then acted like this was the way it's suppose to be done when dating someone. I will admit it's been a while since I've been in a relationship but I'm pretty sure if the guy I dated acted like that it would be a short relationship.  So I'm interested in your thoughts on this.
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<title>A Drama Free Update</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71461</link>
<pubDate>22-JUN-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hey everyone that remembers me. For those that don't I use to be really active on the blogs.

Things have looked up for me. I am now attending a culinary school to get a degree in Baking and Pastry, so I can become a Pastry Chef. My dog treat business is going well...slow but well. I just need to put more money and time into it and I know it will take off. I have a job in a bakery but I know it's temporary and I have to move on to bigger things. Nothing has changed yet on the male front.  Not really worried about it because I'm not going to drop my standards and settle for just anyone. He's out there and we will find each other.

So long story short, I'm keeping my head up and doiing so much better than the last time I wrote something. I've written some erotic stories that might get me kicked off of LF but I'll think about seeing if I could post them.  Let me know if you are intersted in reading them.  Hope to chat with some old friends on here again and even make some new ones.
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<title>Hello Everyone</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=71421</link>
<pubDate>21-JUN-09</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I know it's been a long time, but I had to pull my life together and stop singing the sad song that I was living. I'm going to write more and fill everyone (that still remembers me) what has been happening in my life. Things are much better now. Talk to you soon.
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<title>How Do You Love Someone You Have Never Met?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=63001</link>
<pubDate>21-OCT-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
How do you love someone you have never met?  This question came to my mind a few minutes ago while I was typing up a list I call &quot;My Ideal Mate.&quot; I have nearly 40 characteristics so far that I believe have some kind of importance in the person that I feel is right for me.  As I was reading over the list the smile on my face became bigger and bigger but what surprised me was the familiar warm feeling in my chest and mind. It was love...really I couldn't believe it either.  What was really surprising was that when I realized I couldn't roll over and kiss him, letting him know how he made me feel...I became sad. And that's when I asked myself, &quot;How do you love someone you have never met?&quot;
Did you notice the question I didn't ask? I'll give you a minute.
Tick
Tick
Tick
I didn't ask, &quot;Does this person exist?&quot; It was no need for me to ask that question because I know he does. He is out there and if I'm as blessed as I feel, I know I will meet him. And yes I know I will be able to love him.  I'm not crazy and I'm not expecting EVERY last thing on my list to fit this person especially since I put in some ranges. (For example Education: High School Graduate to PhD) Some people may think that because I have my BS in Psychology I would only want someone with a degree.  Not true, because I know people who I feel are just as intelligent if not more as I am and they have never attended one college class in their life. And you have the idiot currently in office that went to Yale (to be a cheerleader) and we all know he's as dumb as a rock.  Sorry didn't mean to offend the rock.
I don't feel strange announcing I love someone I've never met.  At one time in my life I would have and no one outside of my journal would have known this, but I don't feel strange at all.  I feel proud that if what I wrote down could stir and move me so much that I know if I accept nothing less in a mate for me the feelings would only be greater.  Yes I have things in there like height and hair color (you know I love a good redhead), but there are things in there like Political Views, Emotional State, Parenting Skills and Household Responsibilities (50/50) too.
So how do you love someone you have never met before?  Easy, you write down everything that you would love about that person and know and BELIEVE he/she exist.
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<title>Can I Touch Your Wings?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=61701</link>
<pubDate>29-SEP-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
So I was in my favorite thinking place, my shower, and I started to think about Angels. &quot;Free, what would you say if an angel just appeared before you?&quot; As the water rained down on me my mind went to work...hmm what would I say?
My first thought
...oh my goodness if an Archangel came to me I would just stand there with my mouth open like why would you come to me.  Just as quickly as that thought popped in my head I corrected it. I'm worthy of any angel popping in for a visit, my grain of sand is just as special and great as anyone else's in this hourglass that we all live in.  Once I got pass that I thought again? &quot;Free, what would you say if an angel just appeared before you?&quot;

And just like that it popped in my head.  
After the first initial shock and the angel saying those magic words that would instantly let me know, yes this is my guardian angel. I would stand there with my mouth open for a moment and then with a smile on my face and my hand out stretched I would say, &quot;Can I touch your wings?&quot; Without skipping a beat the angels wings would unfold, rising up behind the shoulders and catch the sudden waning sunlight. Just as my slow moving finger tips near the awe inspiring wings? said wing would flap me on my side and the angel would let out the biggest, bellowing laugh I would ever hear in my life.  Angels have the greatest sense of humor.

So, that being said...if you believe in angels and one showed up what would be the first thing you would say to him/her. I mean after they prove to you they are an angel.
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<title>Taser Gift - Tuesday Joke of the Day</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=58401</link>
<pubDate>18-AUG-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
This is hysterical.....Read the WHOLE thing Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great
gift for the wife... IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A TASER IS YOU BETTER FIND
OUT.........
  
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
  
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL!
  
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
  
I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button
AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.??
  
AWESOME!!!?
  
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave!
  
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?! !??
  
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit
I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong???
  
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
taser in another.
  
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make
your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm
looking at this little device measuring about 5&quot; long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A
batteries) thinking to myself, &quot;no possible way!&quot;??
  
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...
  
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, &quot;don't do it dumbass,&quot; reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and...
  
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
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<title>Quick Update From NoDrama</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=54380</link>
<pubDate>03-JUN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hey everyone, I thought it was time for an update.

Ok, I'm still job searching but I believe things are going well for me. I joined a gym and lost 7 lbs  and 7.5 inches. I lost a lot of muscle after the accident but I'm working hard to get that back. Oh my goodness I don't think I've ever sweat this much before in my life and I live in the South. *sniggle*

I'm also starting an online business. I'll be selling homemade, healthy dog treats. I haven't gotten the web page set up yet but it should be up and running in a week or so. My first two flavors are Apple Of My Eye Treats (Apple & Cinnamon flavor) and Peanut Butter Pop Star (star shaped). I don't know if I'll get in trouble for giving out the name of the business but I'll let everyone know when the website is up and running.

Keep your fingers crossed on the job front and the business one too.  Take care everyone.
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<title>I Will Not Be A Pillar Of Salt</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=53440</link>
<pubDate>17-MAY-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I'm writing this blog as I take a break from cleaning my small walk-in closet...that I can no longer walk into because of the junk.  I can't even blame the accident on the state of the closet; it was bad before the accident and only got worse afterwards.  I wish I could say that I have made peace with my wrongful termination but I haven't.  And a friend of mine told me that you have to get rid of the bad to get the blessings.  I believe the words and the meaning behind it.  That's why I'm fighting turning into a pillar of salt like Lott's Wife.

Sometimes I find myself thinking back on those 10 out of 11 good years I had with the company and I miss it so much.  And that's were Lott's Wife got into trouble. You have all these happy memories and get stuck in the past.  10 years is greater than the 1 year of hell and the majority of the people were wonderful. (One bad apple doesn't spoil the hold bunch.) Here's were the problem comes in, who's to say God had not plan for Lott's Wife to have riches beyond her wildest dreams.  She was so fixed on those happy memories she couldn't move forward to the memories ahead of her.  They had to be grand to be saved from what was in the past, right?

I didn't do anything wrong and did not deserve to be terminated.  I told the truth, I reported people falsifying information and fixing reports.  And yet, I'm the one unemployed and my brain can't wrap around how telling the truth put me in this situation.  And that's when it hits me...I AM Lott's wife.  Also it hit me where the term being called salty comes from...LOL. I am salty about my situation, but I believe it's only a thin crust on me (I hope).  I'm going to move forward, because I know I was taken out of a bad situation and the reason I'm not in a better is no one's fault but mine.  My blessings are in front of me, all I have to do is reach out to get them.
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<title>And Knowing Is Half The Battle</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=52341</link>
<pubDate>24-APR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
...and knowing is half the battle, Go Joe!
-	GI Joe Battle Cry

I often times feel that I am placed in my friends life for various reasons to help them, but I have one friend that I know was placed in my life by God to teach and expose me to things that I would never know was around me.  I may not always let her know just how important her friendship is to me but she might know after this blog. Let's just call her Lady D from here on out.

I've never been much of a girly girl and until about two years ago I never wore make-up.  That's where Lady D comes into the picture.  About a year before this infamous make-up incident, Lady D came into my life as a co-worker and quickly became a good friend with &quot;interesting&quot; arts and crafts projects?LOL. Anyway as Lady D was broadening my &quot;creative&quot; horizons I thought maybe I would increase my girliness (ok, it's word in my vocabulary).   There was this co-worker that I was very impressed with her make-up skills.  And I asked her if she would help me learn how to wear make-up without looking like a clown.  To this day I believe way too many black women need lessons on applying make-up successfully, which is why it wasn't until I turned 31 before I thought I would take on the challenge for myself.  This co-worker took me to the MAC store in the mall and the make-up guy picked some colors and products and applied them to my face at lunch.  According to people at work he did a great job, and I must admit it wasn't all that bad.  Lady D must have called and rounded up everyone to come stare at me and I thought I would die.  Honestly it just didn't feel like my face especially when I looked in the mirror.

Well for most people the story would end there, but you have to remember that I hadn't worn anything more then the occasional (rarely) brownish, red lipstick in 31 years.  So I get home and I know I need to get the make-up off my face...but how.  I didn't have any make-up remover and I only used a washcloth and warm water to wash my face daily.  I had sense enough to know that water was not going to be enough to get the job done and I didn't want a break out just because I wanted to look cute. *sigh* As I looked around my bathroom sink and under the cabinet I knew I had to get creative.  I washed my face and began to towel dry it.  That's when I saw it, foundation residue on my towel and I wondered how the hell am I going to get that out my towel.  Then I realized how the hell am I going to get this stuff off my face.
At this point I wondered why women wore make-up and how safe is it if you can't get it off your face.  I sighed and figured I needed to buy some make-up remover during lunch the next day.  Knowing Lady D was the queen of product, I thought I would give her a call, for advice or to save me a trip to the store.  This was still early in our friendship so I think Lady D still had some disbelief in my line of thinking, but after this I?m sure she never questioned it again.  After some small talk I asked, &quot;What else could I use to get this make-up off?&quot;  To which she replied, &quot;Do you have some remover?&quot; she listed some other items to which most I said nope. &quot;...how about some facial cleaner?&quot; I had these Oil of Olay facial cleansing pads but I read the box and it didn't say anything about make-up remover. That's when I heard her sigh on the other end of the line.  &quot;How was I supposed to know if the box didn't say anything, now I have to figure out how to get this stuff off my towel?&quot;  I think that's when it clicked in her head that I might have attempted to clean my face prior to the phone call.

&quot;NoDrama, did you try to remove the make-up before you called me?&quot; Well, that's when it clicked in my head; I might not have used the best method in my first attempt. So my reply was, &quot;huh?&quot;  I did my best to redirect my attention and avoid her questions, but she's good and I had to confess. &quot;Ok, I used the anti-bacterial hand soap to wash this stuff off.&quot; I don't think it's a combination of letters to spell out the sound I heard on the other end of the phone.  I can't really remember the rest of the conversation but I got my butt chewed out.  How was I suppose to know I wasn't suppose to use the anti-bacterial soap, I figured it was safe because it was &quot;anti-bacterial.&quot;  Come on, who wouldn't have made that mistake?

So knowing is half the battle and now I know.  For my 32nd birthday, Lady D gave me some facial products...LOL.  Thanks!
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<title>What Is It?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=52020</link>
<pubDate>06-APR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
What is it about me that is so unappealing I cannot find or keep a man?  I don't usually ask this question, but I've been trying to reevaluate my life.  I must admit that because I loved my job, a lot of my world revolved around it.  I guess that's why it seems everywhere I turn, it's a reminder of what use to be and I'm trying so very hard to live it the present, welcoming the future.  But that's getting off subject. Now that the job isn't a big infrequence it seems that I'm more focused on the love life.

It's strange how whether online or in person guys will say, &quot;Oh, I'm just looking for friends,&quot; yet if they do not find you attractive, it is no longer a reason to talk to you.  A lot of the times it feels that if they (men) don't have a use (whatever it is) for you there is no reason to keep you around.  So I guess my question really should be, &quot;What is it about me that guys feel is so useless to them?&quot;  Ok, let's take the job thing out of the equation since that's temporary (hell, I've been working since high school nonstop until now). That being said I support myself, any luxury I have I've worked hard to get buy, make or fix it;  all with enjoyment and completing my goal in mind.  I'm strong and independent but very supportive of everyone around me.  If I climbed a mountain I would trail a rope behind me to help those that follow. Is that a weakness?

&quot;You're too good for me.&quot;  How many times have I heard that?  If I was a different person it would go to my head.  I use to think...oh that's just BS, but I heard Dr. Phil say one day...if a guy tells you that, believe him, he knows himself better than you do. It makes since to me now, especially since some of those same guys turned around and treated the next girlfriend like crap (or worse).  It could be they were doing me a favor by walking away.  It still hurts no matter how you cut it.  So is the question really, &quot;Why am I picking such low quality guys?&quot;

I know relationships are about more than having someone to dance in a light, summer rain. I know it?s more than that gentle, welcome home hug and kiss.  As a good listener I am ready for the challenge. So I'm going to say the real question might be, &quot;Where are the men, the real men that can handle a mature woman that has so much to offer?&quot;
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<title>A Confident BBW</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=51400</link>
<pubDate>18-MAR-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
In reading some male blogs, blogs comments and profiles there seems to be a repeated theme of wanting &quot;someone comfortable in their own skin,&quot; &quot;confident BBW,&quot; and &quot;someone who can take a compliment.&quot;  And all I want to say to these men is &quot;WAKE UP!&quot;  Now I'm not going to tell you that every BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) is proud of her size and walks around with her head up, which would be untrue.  But if society was excepting of BBW's and BHM (Big Handsome Men) then there would not be a need for this site.  Women that are all shapes and sizes have days when they do not feel so &quot;sexy&quot; and that's ok.  It's a little harder for a BBW because even on the days that we believe that we are at our sexiest it only takes one disapproving look or overlook to shatter our spirit.

To give an example, I'm a confident and outspoken person on most days. One day I was at my sexiest, nice fitting clothes, make-up on and hair freshly done...no one couldn't tell me anything. I was walking around flirting left and right and then it happened.  My good friend, who is tall, slender and beautiful inside and out, went out with me.  And there went any attention I was drawing my way.  At first I felt like a little troll standing next to her, but it's only because my friend is such a wonderful person that that I regained my footing.  When guys tried to exclude me from conversations or almost stand in front of me to talk to her, she turned her back on them and talked to me directly.   Soon only the quality guys were around us and the conversation was great, with everyone involved.  And this only happened because of the person my friend is and the person I am.  The evening could have gone in a whole different direction, a very painful direction for me at least.

So WAKE UP guys!  Just because you claim to be that guy that enjoys a full figured woman it doesn't mean she hasn't heard that before.  I've heard my male friends talk about &quot;trying&quot; to be nice to the fat friend so they can get the skinny chick. I held my friend as she tearfully told me the story of a guy she had a crush on tell her he only dates fat girls in the winter time to keep him warm.  No one wants someone that is needy all the time, but to think that a woman who most likely has been excluded most of her life due to her size can just be confident and comfortable with her size is unreal.  I can only speak for myself, in the beginning of a relationship (friendship) it can be a little nerve racking, but once it settles down that confidence and outspoken nature will appear.  And yes it's related to how I'm being treated by the guy, because if he makes me feel uncomfortable he won't see the confidence. And now that I'm more mature the only thing he will see is my backside as I walk away.
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<title>Today I Was Fired</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=50880</link>
<pubDate>25-FEB-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Today, I was fired from a job with a company that I was a outstanding employee for 11 years. I was fired due to liars and immature people that stated I made them feel like they were stupid. I know God has good things coming my way and I know they will have to face him one day, but right now it hurts.  And the funny thing is I knew it was coming because suddenly they started being nice to me.  I spent 2007 in a hostile work environment and suddenly they became nice so I knew they were going to fire me.  Darn shame.
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<title>I'm Hungry</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=50660</link>
<pubDate>18-FEB-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
For the last 5 days all I've had were a few slices of bread. And my system has quickly kicked that back out. I got sick Thursday night and haven't been under 100.4 temp since. I was scared out of my mind when it reached 102.3 in the middle of the night. I really thought I was going to have to put the AC on to cool down.

Honestly, I really thought about quiting this job, selling my house and moving closer to family just because being this sick and alone scare me.  The doctor told me to come in today and hopefully I can get something to break this fever.  And then maybe I can sink my teeth into some soup...LOL.

Everyone take care and stay away from folks with runny noses.
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<title>3 Options</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=48760</link>
<pubDate>04-JAN-08</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
So, I met with my HR director today and he informs me that I have 3 options:

Stay and get fired (he stated it was nothing he could do about how they were treating me)


Find another job within the next week or two


Take a Severance Package of 3 months pay with the option of staying in good standing with the company


So I have a week to find a lawyer who is willing to help me negotiate at least 10 months pay which would be a month for each year I was with the company.
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<title>When I Smile</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=47760</link>
<pubDate>18-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
When I smile, people tell me to open my eyes

    And I laugh, because I am looking right at them

When I smile, my heart skips a beat

    And I laugh, because the sensation can be overwhelming

When I smile, my mind drifts to another place

    And I laugh, because I remember all that was good past, present and future

When I smile, I want everyone to smile that is around me

    And I laugh, because not everyone knows why I am smiling
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<title>In Support Of Some Friends</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=47280</link>
<pubDate>14-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I felt a need to write this after reading some comments. Dealing with people trying to fire me for not kissing a$$, I like coming to LF an being able to kick back, relax and express my feelings freely. And everyone has a right to do that, but no one has a right to attack another. But if you are willing to attack someone you have to be prepared to be attacked back.

I wish I could say I'm not taking sides but I am. There are some good people having their character attacked and other good people being attacked for standing up for their friends. What I can't stand is every time it starts to die down, someone comes along for what ever reason and brings everything back up.

All I ask is that we put the &quot;friend&quot; back in Large Friends. Stop swinging blindly, we don't know what happened. And stop swinging at people that will support their friends. You wouldn't call someone your friend if they did not stand up for you when you need them...would you?

I hope the people that I call my friends on this site realize this is in support of them as it hurts me to see them attacked. And I hope the people that keeps attacking know that it's past old and that they should let sleeping dogs lie (wink). Let's agree to disagree and walk away.
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<title>Need Some Advice</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45840</link>
<pubDate>27-NOV-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hey everyone, I hope you all had a great holiday.

I need some legal or otherwise advice. I'm at my wits end with the job. 10 years at a company and never had to go to HR now I'm in there almost every week or emailing the manager. The VP, Director and Manager are all friends so I have nowhere to turn. All they keep telling me is to find another job, but no one is trying to help me with the Manager and Supervisor that are writing me up for things that they are letting the other 7 members of the dept get away with.

Today, I had to go into the office while everyone else was given the option of a Company paid day off. I showed them where I came across the other members &quot;falsifying&quot; information and I got in trouble for reporting it.

Honestly the only reason they have not fired me is because I broke my ankle on the job and have been battling that for a little over a year. I have never mentioned a lawsuit but every time I go to see the HR Manager he mentions I don't have a case for a lawsuit. At this point I'm starting to wonder if I do have a case.

It has to be a way to stop them from harassing me until I can find another job. HELP!
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>A Cold To Remember</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=46600</link>
<pubDate>07-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
This is one of my funnier blogs. It really did happen about 2 years ago.

About 2 years ago, I was being hard headed and thought I could out run a sinus infection.  I had things to do, places to go and no time to be sick.  Anyway, by the time I went to the doctor I had pneumonia, a sinus and ear infection and one very nasty cough.  The thing about mind over matter is that the mind eventually has to take a break, and all those things that you have been hiding from yourself will appear.  So needless to say, I went straight home from the doctor's with my 101 fever to Eckerd .  

I had 3 items to pick up 1) Antibiotics 2) Codeine cough syrup and 3) The Miracle Pill (women we all know this pill well, you need it when you're on antibiotics)

I've never taken codeine before, so I followed all the little warnings on the side of the bottle. I fixed something to eat, sweating all along from the fever.  Forced myself to eat all of it and carefully measured the prescribed amount into the cup.  Because I never know what I?m going to be allergic to or how medication will affect me, I reached for the phone.  I called my sister to tell her about the doctors and the medicine.  Then I called one of my friends here in Atlanta and took the codeine cough syrup.  I talked on the phone for about an hour with no effects.  As I was getting off  the phone, I started moving around and then I started to feel dizzy.

Side note- I have trained my kids (Kats) to go to bed, in their own room by 11 pm.  I give them a treat and close the door.  I'm a light sleeper.

Back to the story.  I put the kids to bed and carefully climbed the 15 stairs to my bedroom.  Which was the last thing I remembered until around 2 am in the morning.  At which time I woke up to find a dog curled up on my bedroom floor...it was a pretty big one too.  Did I mention I don't have a dog?  I was trying not to panic and I especially didn't want to wake the dog.  My mind was racing...did I leave the door open, how long has it been in my room, it's laying between me in the bed and the door to safety, did it eat my kids, where's the phone, how can the police get to me without breaking down the door and setting off the alarm?  All the while, I'm looking at this dog in my bedroom and trying not to wake it, so I tried to calm down and think my way out of this.

Inside my head

&quot;No Drama, relax and move very slowly.&quot;  I was reaching for my flashlight.  It is a small flashlight and couldn't hurt a fly, but I slowly took my arm from under the covers.  &quot;It's ok, it's ok, ND, just move slowly&quot;  My head was swimming and it looked like I could see the dog breathing.  I got to the flashlight and flicked it on as I prepared to throw myself to the other side of the bed and make a mad dash for the bathroom.  Needless to say, the light exposed my clothes in a heap on the floor.  Somewhere between the top of the stairs and my bed, I had stripped and left my clothes in a pile on the floor, which I never do.  Once my heart stopped racing I went back to sleep.

In the morning I read the warning paper again that was stuffed in the bag with the medications...

&quot;May cause hallucinations&quot;
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>It's A Funny Thing About Memories: A Hero Called Hobo</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=46420</link>
<pubDate>04-DEC-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
It's a funny thing about memories you never know when one from so many years ago will rise up and put a smile on your face.  As I was jamming to some 80's tunes while sitting in Atlanta traffic, I thought to myself &quot;Man, I miss the stoop.&quot;  Just in case, a stoop is the city version of a porch.  It's the stone steps to the apartment buildings.  I remember sitting out there with a family, friends and neighbors from the building.  Scareface has a rap about &quot;My Block&quot; but each building was really like its own community.  Living across the street could have been a town away.  People moved from one apartment within the same building to another based off of family needs, hardly anyone just &quot;moved away.&quot;  Here in Atlanta it seems people change apartment communities like they do their underwear...just my opinion.

I loved our stoop; it had two tiers with a small courtyard like space in between before you reached the locked entrance.  I guess you could call it the city version of a gated community...LOL.  There were four large, square pillars (two on each level) about six feet tall from the bottom up.  Now if you were standing on the top step an adult could easily see over the flat top of it.  As a small child I was beside myself with joy when I was able to an arm across the top.  Now if you went around the back of the pillar and could reach the first decorative brick work ridge you could climb up and sit on the top or if you were lucky you could get a boost.  I could only climb up on the one on the left by myself because it had a crack below the ridge that allowed me to reach the ridge with the ultimate goal of dinging my legs over the edge while watching people go by.  The world was a really tall place for me for a very long time.

There were always people on the block, people you knew, people you trusted.  One day, I somehow missed meeting up with my sister and walked home by myself.  Of course I didn't have a key to get in, I think I got one the next year; it was placed on a red corded chain that went around my neck.  I was so big time then.  Anyway, I went up to the neighborhood elderly guys and asked if they would baby-sit me until my sister got there.  They did and my family gets a good laugh out of that 'til this day.  No one would dare touch &quot;Boots'&quot; kids; my dad had much respect on the block.  There was someone other than the guys that baby sat me that day but I didn't noticed then.

My unsung baby-sitter was named Hobo; he was the block's dog.  If I interjected my childhood memory with my adult knowledge I would say Hobo was a large yellow Labrador that needed a hair cut (brushed) and a bath.  He didn't really stink but the yellow was faded and had dark, dirty patches around it.  He was a friendly dog, too friendly at times because people would steal his dog collar purchased by various people on the block.  A collar and his decreasing speed was the only thing between his freedom and the pound.  Everyday I would save half of my school snack for Hobo.  And on special occasions he would meet me at the top of the hill and walk me home, even after receiving his half of the cookie, cup cake, apple or orange slices.  And if he didn't look too dirty I would pet him.  Hobo always listened to my stories and never made fun of my speech impediment.  I never thought anything of it, Hobo was just there.  I loved him as if he was my own dog which he often came along for her walks too.

Here is the part of the memory that brings happy tears to my eyes.  One day when I was walking home from school alone the world became quite.  This was NYC but everything had gone quite, no cars, no trains in the background and strangely enough there weren't any people.  There was a bodega on every corner but even at that age I realized no one was around.  I turned onto my street and not even the old men were sitting outside.  And none of this scared me...why should I have been scared; I was standing in front of my building.  That's when I saw the first dog standing between the stoop and me.  I wasn't afraid of dogs but it was clear this one wasn't friendly.  So I attempted to make my way around it.  And that's when I saw dog number two, three, four and five.  Where they appeared from I don't know but I was surrounded and they were growling.  I knew not to run and I was much to scared to scream.  I knew I couldn't let them knock me down through I felt so small we could have been at eye level to each other.  And I knew to protect my neck and face but what I didn't know was how on Earth I was going to get away and into the building at least the first door.  I would have to run up two tiers of steps and open a heavy, black metal door without the dogs getting in too.  The tears started.

Just as the circle stared closing in Hobo came out of nowhere and my furry baby-sitter turned into this huge, dirty yellow wolf-like animal and started kicking butt.  He took on the pack and they tried to take him on. I took off as fast as I could with my book bag swinging as back up until I reached the door to safety.  I could only see a little of the fight and wasn't going out there to check.  I hit the button and I &quot;think&quot; it was my mother that buzzed me into the building.  What I do know for sure is I went upstairs and made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and when my sister got home and we could go downstairs I took my hero his victory meal.

Ok, if you are still reading I will tell you why this memory is so powerful for me.  I felt safe then, not just because of Hobo; who I'm sure saved my life, but safe to sit with old men without getting molested.  And when I needed help it came running without me uttering a single word.  I miss being protected like that, I miss having someone run out of nowhere to put them self between me and the danger.  Now I would do it for the ones I love and any small child but I miss having it possibly returned.  I'm going to get it back because recently it has been coming to me what exactly I am looking for and what I will put up with and the more focus I have the more blessing I will have in finding it.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>I Dream Of Green</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=45040</link>
<pubDate>17-NOV-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
One night I had a dream, but it was like no other. I saw a pregnant lady sitting on her knees in a strange living room in a home I had never seen before. She was watching a baby taking some of his first clumsy steps toward a couch. And I felt as if I was there, my heart raced as I beckoned him on to reach his goal. And as he lurched towards the couch barely making the last few steps, I smiled in victory with him. And then my heart stopped as his little face turned towards me. The first thing I noticed was his beautiful green eyes but it was those cheeks that caused the air to catch in my throat. They were mine and the woman I saw was me. I was looking at myself watching my child cross a room to get to...his father.

Sometimes I still see those green eyes when I close mine, when I take a deep breath, when I am a lone with my thoughts. If it is possible to miss someone that never existed, then I miss that child, I miss him a lot. It doesn't help that I keep running into people with green eyes though green is not a common color. I don't think it's fair that my inability to find a good man should affect my ability to be a good parent to a two legged child (yes my kats count).  So, I've come to the conclusion that after I get out of this job situation that I am going to start real preparation for a family.

I know being a single mother is hard and that part I'm not looking forward to facing, but life can be hard sometimes. I'm not giving up finding that guy that I can wake up next to every morning with a smile on my face. But if he is really out there, not only could he love me but he could love my child. And yes I know the odds of really having a child with green eyes...LOL. It's ok, I just want a healthy child, well maybe two.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>For The Want Of A Tire</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=44780</link>
<pubDate>10-NOV-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Today I went to Goodyear Tires in need of one tire. Yes just one tire, long story. Anyway just as they were lowering my car on the rack, this guy walks in the door. I could tell he was shorter than me but it was something about him. He had one of those one-piece, blue, mechanic's jumpsuits on. The top was down and arms tied around his waist.  I smiled at the faded white t-shirt that was clean but still said he had been working on his car all day. I'll refer to him as The Mechanic from now on. The Mechanic repeatedly looked out the window towards his car. I thought maybe a child or his girlfriend was in there.

As I walked up to the counter to pay for my service, I took a closer looker look at The Mechanic. I could see his warm, grey-blue eyes and dirty fingernails.  I do so love a man with some dirt on him.  It's so many ways to clean it off. Once I pulled my mind back from fantasy I notice the longing look The Mechanic was giving, well how I can say this, he was looking at his car as if the sexiest woman in the world was walking by.  And for a split second I was envious of a car. I looked out the window to see a car that looked like it was in the process of being painted and primed.  And there were brand new tires and shiny new rims.  The car slowly rolled by and those grey-blue eyes never left it.  And to no one in particular he said, &quot;Oh, I think those rims are a good choice, yeah they look really good.&quot; It was no more than a whisper and it sounded like audio sex.

Con't in Comments
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Your Best Come Hither Shot</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=43520</link>
<pubDate>21-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I've been trying to get a great come hither picture to post on this site. Just to show a more &quot;adult&quot; or &quot;s*xier&quot; side of me, but honestly I keep busting into laughter.  I can't help it, I can be silly sometimes.  And if it's not really directed at anyone, it just feels silly.

So I was thinking, maybe some of you can post your best come hither picture to give me some ideas on what I need or can do.  Smiles are great but maybe I can give something else a try.

Oh and I take it only paying members can use the color feature...LOL
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Why Is This World So Crazy?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=43400</link>
<pubDate>18-OCT-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I read this article on &quot;Race remarks get Noble Prize winner in trouble.&quot; It was about the Noble Prize winner James Watson, who helped to discover DNA.

(He told the paper he hoped that everyone was equal, but added: &quot;people who have to deal with black employees find this not true.&quot;) This was one quote; he also said people with darker skin have higher sex drives.

Maybe I'm so upset and near tears because I had a hard day at work or maybe because way too many males (black and white) have every race selected except African American.  I stand up for myself and I'm labeled as an angry black woman.  Even black women have told me not to be &quot;so direct&quot; that I can be intimidating.  I'm 5'6&quot; on a good day when the wind is blowing in the right direction, how can I be intimidating?

James Watson isn't some radio Disc Jockey, this man helped to discover the blueprint of life for Pete's sake.  And I can?t explain the hurt I feel right now.  Really I think it's the stress at work that is wearing me down.  I have more moments of happiness than these moments, but when I'm hurt I try to reach out.  I'm working on a funny blog, I just haven't finished it. So please don't think I'm always so sad, I really do laugh more than I cry.  I guess I'm in such disbelief.

Everyone is welcome to comment, but if you are one of those men that have selected just about every race but African American, I really would like to hear from you.  I would like to know what's so unappealing about a black woman.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Trying To Stay Positive</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=40480</link>
<pubDate>04-SEP-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok, so I headed back to work today after being out due to the surgery. And I can't go into the details of why returning is so stressful but I'm proud of myself for not letting them cause me to shed a tear.

I'm trying to practice what I've learned with the The Secret CD's or as people know it as the law of attraction and I'm fading fast. My ankle is almost as good as it was before the accident and you would think I would be worried about that, but it's the people I can't really get away from (at this moment) that is causing me issues. I've prayed, I've asked people to pray for me and I've tried to say that I was having a good day. The day actually wasn't that bad except for the part were I've been placed in exile from everyone. And yes that's a blessing in disguised but at the same time who likes to be alienated?

How do you stay positive and attract good things to you when there is so much sadness to clear out?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>I Say You Say (Part 2)</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39920</link>
<pubDate>28-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Turn around is fair play...enjoy

I Say...I love dancing in the rain...You Say...I got the galoshes

I Say...I love holding hands...You Say...Anytime, any place

I Say...I love cats...You Say...I'll feed and water but the litter box is all yours

I Say...I love Sci-fi...You Say...Beam me up, Scottie

I Say...I love tattoos...You Say...You show me yours I'll show you mine

I Say...I'm a city girl...You Say...That's ok, I paint your step stool to get in my monster truck in the NY Yankee's color

I Say...I love a man with a nice walk..You Say...Nothing (you just start strolling away from me as I check out your stride)

I Say...It's 3am and I can't sleep...You Say...I'll help make you tired (Bizzle get your mind out the gutter)

I Say...I love home improvement projects...You Say...Just remember to hit the nail and not my fingers

I Say...I love to travel...You Say...Where to on this extended weekend

I Say...I sing in the car on long trips...You Say...I found some earplugs on sale.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>You Say I Say</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39780</link>
<pubDate>25-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Sometimes I see wording in profiles and I think of the conversation we would have if we met in person.  I only choose a few but you get the idea...what would you say.

You Say...I love playing sports... I Say...I'll cheer you from the stands and have your ice cold water ready

You Say...I love the great outdoors...I Say...I'll have the first aid kit ready when you return

You Say...I love watching sports...I Say...I just got this great dip recipe online

You Say...I love to go dancing...I Say...I can really cut a rug in flats

You Say...I love camping..I Say...I'm a city girl but I will rent the cabin with running water

You Say...I love fishing...I Say...Can you clean my catch too?

You Say...I'm dirty...I Say...The shower is already running or the tub is already full.

You Say...I can't go any father...I Say...I'm right beside you and we can make it to the end

You Say...I can't reach...I Say...Hold my shirt and I'll get it

You Say...I'm hungry...I Say...Take out is number 3 on the speed dial

You Say...I don't want take out...I Say...That's why your dinner is already on the table.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>I Saw It Coming...</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=39060</link>
<pubDate>17-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I saw this coming and knew it was not going to end pretty. And for the life of me I didn't know how to stop it once it began.

I'm a regular on an interracial dating site with a free chat room and there are some nice people and a few not so nice people. Before my surgery, I went to Indy to meet a few of the people I chatted with most of the time. It was a couple and then a single guy (friend). We all had a nice time and posted and shared pictures of the trip. And here is were things went wrong...Once I returned my friends boyfriend started IM'ing me. And everytime he would say something I would say oh, but &quot;your girlfriend&quot; looks/is better. Or how I enjoyed seeing them as a couple. Now I knew if I had said something to her about it it would be my fault and the friendship would be over. Needless to say I was talking to him about the kind of guy I liked while we were in the chat room and the single friend came in on the end of the conversation. I'm always talking about home improvement projects and how I would like to be in construction and then maybe it would be easier for me to finish. The boyfriend is in construction and said, you don't want to be in construction. I said then maybe I need to find someone who is... Of course that's when the other person walked in.So long story short, my friend and the single guy who I thought was a friend too are no longer speaking to me and I doubt I will hear from the boyfriend. Which I saw all this coming when that first IM popped up.

So I have deleted everyone from my IM and will be removing them from my other sites because at the least they could have asked what was it all about, especially since they knew me longer than him.  But what hurts me the most is that people that I thought kind of knew me...well knew me well enough could think that I would do something like that. I don't want the guy, other than the construction worker job, he doesn't fit anything the I really like. I don't think this was my fault?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>For The Love Of A Cookie</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38960</link>
<pubDate>14-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok, it's almost 11 pm and all I want is a cookie.  Maybe not just one but it never fails that I want something really sweet at this hour.  I think my body is just messing with me because I can't just walk outside and go to the store. And the fact that I know I will wake up in the morning with no desire for something sweet is just crazy.

Do you know what the crazy part in all of this?  I get up in the morning and I work out with free weights doing arm curls.  And I go all day without a thought of a cookie. *sigh* I guess this is just the witching hour and I should be in bed, then I could skip the want of a cookie.

Ok who doesn't love a good Soft Batch cookie?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>When Race Is Not On Your Side</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38480</link>
<pubDate>08-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Wow this is my 2nd blog tonight. Ok I saw someone I'm attracted to on LF...but he's a white guy, which is not a problem for me.  The thing is, his profile states he is only looking for a white female. :(  Ok, I've come across this a couple of times on dating sites (except for the interracial ones...there they just want me to be skinny...LOL)

I'd like to see what he's all about but, should I even &quot;waste&quot; my time trying? It's clear that he is not interested in someone outside his own race, which can be understandable...but it's a little rotten not to give someone a chance because of it.

So should I ignore it, because what's the worst that can happen...he ignores my attempts...no not really there is always that word that should be banned from the English language. So I just don't know.

What do you think?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Advice From A Male Friend</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38460</link>
<pubDate>08-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Ok, I just finished talking with a male friend of mine and I need some advice from my LF friends and fellow blog readers. First let me say that I've know this person for almost a year online and recently met them in person in July. He is dating a friend of mine that I also met online first.

Long story short we were talking about my prefences and standards for guys and I mentioned that I must be doing something wrong because I'm having no luck at this time in finding someone. He said, first you need to change your picture because it doesn't do you justice.  You need a body shot and show off the gurls a little bit. You need to get the guys attention first. I don't think he ever mentioned that I was cute or attractive, the only thing he repeatly mentioned was features below the neck. I was like wow, I didn't want to have to display the gurls to get someone's attention.

The funny thing is that I had mentioned to a female friend that I lack the ability to pose for a sexy come hither picture that so many are good at.  I love my smile and honestly I just think it's sexy when I smile at someone...but I guess it just looks like I'm joking all the time. But I have a fun personality so I think it fits.

So will I have to learn how to to take a come hither picture to catch a man?  Will I have to pull back some with the camera and make sure the gurls are perky?  Will the sum of the parts be the only way to make someone look at the whole?

All advice welcome..thanks in advance
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cast Signing</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=38220</link>
<pubDate>04-AUG-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Hey everyone, I just thought I would throw a Cast Cyber Signing Party on LF.  Just leave a comment and that will represent your signing.

There is a lot of new people to blog land so I'll give you a quick run down on the cast. Oct. '06 I fell down some stairs at the CN Towner in Toronto, ON. 2 surgeries, 5 screws, 1 plate and a 5 inch scar on the outside of my ankle later, I was still in a lot of pain and walking with a pretty noticeable limp.

Fast forward to a new doctor and a 3rd surgery to remove all metal, bone chip in embedded in the ligament (opposite side of ankle), a matching 5 inch scar on the inside of ankle, 26 staples and 4 stitches later I have no pain what-so-ever in my ankle and I'm in a cast for 3 weeks instead of 6.

So everyone is welcome to sign my cast especially since I have a wonderful feeling this is the last surgery related to this accident that I will have!
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Lott's Wife</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=35260</link>
<pubDate>06-JUN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I first heard the story of Lott's wife turning to salt as a young child and I couldn't understand then why God had been so mean to someone for only missing the things that they cared about. As an adult, I understand a little better as to why it was wrong for her to turn around and look back at the city filled with Sin.  You should never miss the things that were not meant for you.  As an imperfect human being can you realistically do this?

Understanding that, I'm not sure why I'm sitting here crying and depressed about things that are beneath me. &quot;Beneath Me&quot; are tough words for me to use because I believe people and things are different than one another but for someone to be &quot;Above&quot; or better than someone else is hard for me to swallow.  So maybe I'm selling myself short.  I don't know maybe I just have a need to believe something right now. You might be wondering what the problem could be, especially since I was so happy a couple of days ago.  Well it seems I got my angel just in time.

The major thing is the pain in my ankle had returned on a mission.  The doctor's appointment was two weeks sooner than the scheduled period of time the doctor gave me to considered not to have a 3rd surgery.  Well I received two more shots of cortisone to my ankle and this time it hurt so bad that I screamed out in pain.  It's done with this really thin, tiny needle but my tendons are enflamed and they did not appreciate being stuck.  I was informed that I would need to have the 3rd surgery that's going to be more complicated than the first two.  He will be removing the hardware (plate and 4 screws) located on the left side of my left ankle.  He will also be going into the right side of my ankle to repair my tendons that are stretched and getting caught on scar tissue and calcification of the bone.  And not to be out done, he will be inserting a scope into two pin size holes he will create in the front of my ankle to clean out some more scar tissue.  He believes it will take about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to get all that done.  I'll be in a splint and then back in a cast for a while.  Of course I will have to learn how to walk again after that, but I guess I'm getting better at learning.  Until the surgery, I'm back in my brace along with the special inserts I need for balance anyway.  I can't even remember where I hid that thing from myself.

The next thing is something I can't talk about in detail, but I did something for 8 years but am now &quot;Outcasted&quot; for someone without half the knowledge or drive to get it done.  But cuteness, breast, and sheep in a flock behavior has won out over knowledge and drive.  Sometimes I wonder why I bother learning anything when all I need to do is show more cleavage, learn to act dumb and smile without understanding to get ahead in this world.

Ok, I'm going to have to put my family on blast. I know they do the best that they are capable of doing and some...one of them has done better than the rest but damn, I have people that have never met me in person trying to do more for me than them. I have disown one sister entirely because during the first imprisonment, she stated she was going to come see me after the first surgery and that's the last time I've talked to her on the phone.  And have not seen her since the last time she came to GA about a year or so ago.  Oh but she did call my house when the other sister was here, and I thought she didn't have my number.  I love my mother but for once can it actually be about me?I can't help when I need the help.  She tries but for once can't it just be about me needing the help?  I just don't know if I'm stable enough to be stuck in the house again. I've seen darkness and it's not pretty.

Good things ARE happening to me too, but seemed to be overshadowed.  I've planned a trip to see some friends in July.  I actually postponed the surgery until after that trip because I need to get away.  I was in the process of getting another job in another department.  I'm working on my resume and I hope there are still people out there that care about a person that's willing to work hard and learn more than what is presented to them.  I also somehow managed not to gain weight but lose it while I was stuck in the bed and unable to get around.  And I have managed to keep it off since getting back on my feet.  So, I'm trying not to look back at the City of Sin and to look forward to the things God is laying out in front of me.

Damn I hate crying...
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Confessions of a Serial Flirter</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=34260</link>
<pubDate>20-MAY-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Free of Drama is another name I go by... It's more of a nick name than No Drama Around Me...LOL

&quot;Hello, my name is Free of Drama?&quot;

&quot;Hello Free&quot;

&quot;Um- well, well I'm not sure why I'm here exactly.&quot; Clearing throat, &quot;maybe this isn?t the right place for me.&quot;

&quot;Well, Ms. Free, tell us what got you this far.&quot;

&quot;Let's see, I was talking to Sister Locs.  She's my middle sister and she believes she knows me so well...ha.&quot; (Blank look from the group) &quot;Anyway, I was telling her about my new physical therapist. She's like a flower child and I need some power behind the words to motivate me.  Sister Locs said I wouldn't expect you to like anyone that wasn't a guy.  I couldn't believe she said that.  Then my friend Nat played &quot;I'll take you there&quot; when I told her and to top everything off my friend Lady DeSilver she started redirecting her attention when I told her what my sister said.&quot;

&quot;I take it your first physical therapist was a man?&quot; (Nod of affirmation) &quot;So you don't believe you flirt a lot?&quot;

&quot;Hey, I can stop flirting anytime I want, really?&quot; (Gives famous grin and batting of the eyes)
&quot;Are you flirting with me now?&quot;

&quot;Huh? Me?&quot; (Bows head) &quot;Ok, maybe I am, but, but I don't see a problem with it.&quot; (Group starts shaking their heads)

&quot;Hi, my name is Free of Drama and I'm, I'm a Serial Flirter&quot;

&quot;HI FREE!&quot;
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Things I Miss- Part 1</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=32980</link>
<pubDate>21-APR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
These are the  things that I miss and hope to one day get them back.  Feel free to add to the list.

I miss feeling the warmth of someone laying beside me

I miss late night phone calls, talking until one or both of us fall asleep

I miss coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his neck while planting tender kisses

I miss feeding him ice cream while cuddled together watching a movie

I miss laying in bed with my head on his chest and my arms wrapped around his body

I miss having someone ask me how my day was and really wanting to know

I miss asking someone how their day was and smiling because they trust me enough to tell me

I miss waking up in the middle of the night and being able to talk to someone to  settle my nerves

I miss holding hands while taking a stroll

I miss sending a card in the mail knowing I will have spoken to him long before it arrives

I miss sending a &quot;I miss you&quot; email from working knowing he will get it when he gets home

I miss having those &quot;I cannot believe we discussed that&quot; conversation well into the A.M.

I miss having him help lotion my legs after a hot shower

I miss someone who will pluck sleep out the corners of my eyes without a second thought

I miss giving and getting &quot;just because kisses&quot; when and where we are around each other

I miss going out together while secretly smiling about what will happen when we get home

I miss sending winks across a room just to say I am &quot;I miss you but still having fun over here&quot;
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Was This a Perfect Date?  8^)</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=31980</link>
<pubDate>26-MAR-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I have a profile on another BBW site, but I rarely log in there.  In November, I received a &quot;nicebreaker&quot; from someone and I hate to admit it...but I ignored it.  I had just had the first surgery on my ankle and wasn't in any condition to communicate with anyone at that time.  So, I was surprised at the end of February to receive another &quot;nicebreaker&quot; from the same guy.  I was considering sending one back just to see what would happen when I received a short email with his &quot;smiley&quot; face address.  I emailed him back through the site and asked for more information.  And again to my surprise he sounded interesting?I added him to smiley.  Now it's rare for me to encounter someone in my area, but he was about 20 minutes from me.

Due to medical reasons (he's not disabled) he does not drive and I did not have any issues with that.  We decided to meet for a late lunch at IHOP. I was dying for some waffles and I would have gone with or without someone, besides I like to keep things light.  I picked him up and it was a nice lunch, he seemed like a very intelligent man and I've never met a Buddhist serial killer so I went back to his apartment and went inside.  I told him I would not stay long and he handed me a book with a list of his LP's (yes I said LP's, for you young folks those are records pre-CD...LOL) CD's, VHS and DVD's; he wanted me to pick something out to play.  In my mind I again said I wasn't staying long but took the book.  That's when things just went down hill.

At that point he reached over onto the table, grabbed a section of news paper and said, &quot;I'll be right back.&quot;  My friends said I should have got up and left but I wasn't that rude.  I heard a door close and then he started whistling while he worked.  I was immediately grossed out and tried not to listen anymore for fear I would hear more than whistling.  I heard the flush and the tap water running and thanked God he washed them.  I'll skip the details of the short conversation that followed once he returned, but he slid his hand over my thigh to get to my hand and I almost jumped out of my skin.  He only released my hand to scratch his hands and at that point I did make my exit.

Now, if you take away the bathroom break and the nasty ballz scratching afterwards, the date still had some issues.  I do not have a problem dating outside my race, but I will also date a black man.  My date seemed to be interested in me more for the fact that I am a dark skinned, natural hair wearing black woman.  I even mentioned to him that he seemed to care more about that than getting to know me; this was after he mentioned he wanted to worship me.  We had only IM'd a few times and spoke on the phone once.  Worship is a strong word anyway, and it did make me feel uncomfortable.  He didn't seem to like white people which blew my mind because he is a white guy.  His profile stated he was looking for a long-term relationship with a black BBW, but after talking to him it seemed more like he is looking for a long-term sexual relationship with a black BBW.  When I mentioned this to him he didn't understand that it was a difference.  And above all, the type of women that he was use to dealing with would have easily parted their legs even through he didn't shower after making his dump.  One person is not better than another, but people are different in their way of life, education and just all around being.

I'm not going into a pity party about not being able to find what I want?I'm more afraid of keep finding what I don?t want...LOL.  I'm more than what is between my legs, my skin tone and my hair texture.  I'm not always good at smiling when I'm not happy, but I do know what happiness is and enjoy being that way.  I know someone will step up to the plate and a new chapter will begin.

Thanks for reading this long blog.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Confused (and slightly hurt)</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=30340</link>
<pubDate>28-FEB-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I was on another site today that has a free chat room for members and non-members and no it's not that nasty site AFF. Anyway, I noticed this guy was laying it on strong for this female that was on cam.  Of course he wanted to go private and he was bold enough to ask her about body parts in the main lobby. Then it had dawned on me that I had sent this guy a flirt (wink)a while back. His profile was great, it talked about how he was professional and he is a single dad and he's looking for a woman that could be a good role model for them.

His profile sounded like he knew what he wanted and wasn't after just a fling.  He was even kind enough to send me a message back saying I wasn't his type, which I was surprised to get because most people would just ignore them. So long story short I looked the female up that he was hitting on so strongly, by the way she wouldn't go private because she was after another guy in the room.

Her profile was actually similar to mine except for one thing... all five of her photos show a large part of her breast or her rear and a lot of skin everywhere else.  I guess that's what makes a perfect role model for your young daughters. So he wasn't the right guy for me, but it still bothers me that the lack of breast shots on my profile takes me out of the running on most days.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Lost In Translation</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=28701</link>
<pubDate>09-FEB-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I wrote this as part of a larger blog entry, but I found this part funny. Have you found any &quot;lost translations&quot; when reading a profile?

Statement: I'm just looking for friends
Translation: I need to keep my options open, since you just might be *bleep*able but I want no strings attached.

Statement: ...looking for an attractive female
Translation: ...looking for someone who fits into the standard, society dictated definition of beauty (long hair, possibility store bought, slender, make-up, euro-centric features even when that is not your ethnicity, etc)

Statement: She must be independent
Translation: Be independent enough that you do not think I will support you, but you should be able to ask( beg) me for money because that makes me feel really manly.

Statement: NO GOLD DIGGERS
Translation: See &quot;She must be independent&quot;

Statement: Must be able to communicate
Translation: Must be able to communicate about the things that I know, should you possible  know more than me...keep on moving on

Statement: Must be employed
Translation: Your job must not be too much better than mine and again you must need me for material items.
Translation: (For the bustas) Your job must be good enough to support the both of us while I stay in your house and act like I'm looking for a better job.

Statement: I love you
Translation: I love you for this very moment in time, when we part I may or may not love you, but since those words are prone to get me what I want, I'll use them.

Statement: Must be open to new things
Translation: I know some freaky positions I'd like to bend you into so please be flexible

Statement: I'm drama free and would like you to be the same
Translation: I don't want to hear your problems and should I run into any I will close up and walk away from you without a word of explanation

Statement: I'm laid back
Translation: I can be a bump on a log at times, but as long as there isn't a situation that requires too much effort I'll handle it, but see &quot;I'm drama free and would like you to be the same&quot; if there is a major problem.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Was I Wrong?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=25720</link>
<pubDate>08-JAN-07</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
The other day I was in a Online Dating Chat Room and a US Solider came into the room.  At first everyone was laughing and joking with him like he was just the everyday Joe Blow.  And then an African Woman started asking him about Saddam's hanging and if things were going crazy over there.  He answered but this is where things got touchy.  She started asking where he was and the time in Iraq.  He started giving his location and I mean everything about his location while talking to her.  He said the city and how far it was from Baghdad.  So I mentioned that he might not want to give out his location like that in the chat room.  At which time the woman tells me she would give me a million dollars if I could use the information to find him? &quot;I know I couldn't find him over there.&quot;  Then why did she even ask? He continued and I said I was going to call Homeland Security.  They both got mad at me.  The woman said I was being disrespectful to a US Solider and he said he could give his location because he wasn't in some kind of special Ops. &quot;My family knows where I am.&quot;  But I think it's a big difference between telling your family your location and telling cyber strangers where you are in a war zone. Right?

All the people I know that are or ever were in the military was never able to give out their location when they were over there.  I know they all couldn't be high level military people.  Even when they returned they never spoke higher than a whisper of what they did over there or where they were, if I could get them to even say that much.  The solider told me I shouldn't try to correct him on something I knew nothing about and continued to get the woman's email address because she wanted to write to a solider. So for a piece of possible nookie, he would use his location in a war zone.  I don't get it.  I told him I did not mean any harm and wished him a safe return. I've supported hour troops, sent care packages, written letters and email but was I wrong or being over protective?

If I'm wrong, please educate me?.please.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Stepping Into The New Year!</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=25040</link>
<pubDate>31-DEC-06</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I took my first steps today without the help of the wheelchair, crutches or the walker. It may have looked strange but I got from point A to point B without help, so I'm going to say I walked for the first time since Oct 3rd. I start physical therapy next week, but I'm hoping this will put me ahead of the game.

On a side note, thank you to everyone who send me an email and all the kind words on my blog entry.  I slipped into the dark place again and was not able to reply, but with these steps I'm hoping 2007 will be much better than 2006.  Thanks again!
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>'Tis The Season Not To Be Bitter</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=24280</link>
<pubDate>20-DEC-06</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
...but I am so very bitter right now. I'm usually the one who has all their Christmas gifts purchased or only a couple more lay-away payments left by Dec 3rd. But it's been a hard year for me. Yes I'm about to vent, thanks in advance if you keep reading.

2006 started off great, possible promotion coming up, got to travel with the job, and found &amp; fell in love. I couldn't believe I found someone who knew just as many corny jokes as I did. And then everything went south...job started going bad, traveling slowed down and the guy who could make me laugh at the drop of the hat couldn't get over the differences in our job. He worked in a warehouse and I have an office job. Well, just as I was hoping the latter end of 2006 might get better, I took a business trip to Toronto,ON where I took a tumble down the stairs at the CN Tower. Long story short on the 27th of December will start 9 weeks of therapy to walk again.  I now have 4 screws and a plate in my leg for the rest of my life. The leg is healing and the foot is now screwed back into the correct position, but the feeling of abandonment won't go away.

People that I thought would be there I haven't seen and family members that should have tried to help turned their backs on me. I've been stuck in the house since October and the internet has become my new best friend. I stopped going to one dating site that has a free chat room and I stick to this one now, mainly because LF seems to be about friendship as well. And since my &quot;real-life&quot; friends have left me, my virtual ones seems to care.

So No Drama, why are you bitter? 8^) Well, I'm bitter because I keep running into people on her that have met some really nice guy or married their mate. I've winked my eyelids off, hell I've even seen some of the guys on other dating sites and winked there...LOL But the only thing I keep getting is &quot;Are you Freaky?&quot; &quot;Do you have a web cam?&quot; I've been alone, but until now I've never been lonely and this is not the time for me to feel like this.  I still have 9 weeks to go before I am independant again. So I'm bitter because it seems like I keep getting pasted by. And I'm scare that the person that was drama free before 2006 tried to kill me will not resurface in 2007. And while I'm being honest, yeah I'm a little worried no one will won't me with a limp. (I know it's shallow) at least it will be on the leg with the tattoo. Maybe the limp will only help to draw someones attention to it. 8^)

If you are still reading, I think you for listening to my venting. And if there is a guy out there &quot;really&quot; looking for a relationship with someone honest, drop a line.  Happy Holidays
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Are you a freak?</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=21800</link>
<pubDate>27-NOV-06</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
Just when I was thinking I was going to try a one or two month membership to this site, it changed into every other site I have visited.

&quot;Are you freaky?&quot; this is the question that the few men that are willing to join and IM has to ask.  Of all the questions, this one seems to be the most important.  I've winked at guys until my eyelid was ready to fall off...no response.  But the question on everyone's mind that contacts me is, my freakiness.  You have to earn the key to that lock and you won't do that in 2 seconds of typing that sentence.

Really are there any men on these sites really looking for something other than sex? I've been pushed aside for women that are clearly gold diggers or seeking green cards but somehow I'm defective because I have a stable job and supporting myself.  When did that become a bad thing?

A guy once said he wanted to give me the world and I said the world is what you make it, but he coudn't get pass my career. Maybe, I'm just upset because I've been asked one time too many about being a freak...but I'm going to put this out there.

I want to come home to someone who has either cooked me a meal, me cooked him a meal or we do it together.  I want someone to curl up with at night to forget about all the &quot;stuff&quot; we had to put up with at work that day.  I want someone who will get down on their knees and help me with home improvements or packs a lunch and says, &quot;Let's go on a road trip.&quot; or &quot;Hey let's catch a high school football game.&quot; or &quot;Let's meet for lunch **wink**&quot;

Is this guy out there or am I the idiot for thinking he is?
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>White Texas Men</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=21200</link>
<pubDate>22-NOV-06</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
I am just wondering if there are any White Texas men out there that desire a Black Women.  I?ve been checking out profiles and it seems that most of the White Texas men either has Caucasian for their preference or all other races except Black/ African American.  The strangest thing happened to me this year?I traveled to TX and watched the men walking.  I don?t know what it is about a Texan walking pass me with their shoulders back and that tight jean strut that causes my juices to flow but it does.  I hate to admit watching them walk turns me into a horn dog.  My friends laugh at me because I check out their walk before their face, that?s just me?some things are more important than others.

Now please don?t jump on me because I didn?t mention Black Texas men, I date inside and outside my race without any problems.  I just had a question out this?so I asked.  Thanks in advance for any responses I receive.
]]></description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Fat Suits</title>
<link>http://www.LargeFriends.com/blog_messages?blog_id=20840</link>
<pubDate>19-NOV-06</pubDate>
<description><![CDATA[
If I see one more skinny model put on a fat suit and walk around some city crying about how no one will look at them or help them with directions, I?m going to scream.  First, they can take off the suit and make up at any time, but what ticks me off the most is that they make these women look awful.  They give them bad plastic, uncombed wigs and no make-up.  And I won?t get started on the cloths, they are worse than the wigs.  What?s so entertaining about this anyway, who doesn?t know society puts down anything or one outside of the ?social? norm.  With all that being said please don?t think me ?angry.?  I just finished watching a show where this plus size woman was so desperate for a man she resorted to murdering other women to help him gain their money.  She ended up being killed by a woman she thought she could trust, but she was in love with the ?sexy? man too.  I guess what goes around comes around.  Frankly I believe there is someone out there for everyone and eventually your paths will cross.  Expect no less, except only the best.
]]></description>
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